A little background first....I left my ex over 3 years ago because he was abusive verbally and emotionally. I then discovered he had molested his two stepsons in his first marriage; so I have sole custody and he is supposed to only have supervised visits, no overnights, and go to sex offender counseling, which he hasn't done. I allow the kids to go with him most Saturdays for about 8 hours, as long as all 3 are together.....

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I recieved the following message from my ex in response to telling him this weekend wouldn't work to see the kids:

hi i'm wondering about this weekend as i see your sca is having a "thing" in *** this saturday. As if I shouldhonor kevins and my agreement, the kids have relatedto me how he's been intimidating and gruff supposedly because he feined being tired, but regardless I want to see them and this daily thing is not lending itself to my ability to "partnership in the raising of our children". Lv a Msg or snd email


I then sent this response:

Yes, we are going to *** tomorrow and also have plans for Sunday. You have seen the kids the last two weekends and will be able to see them next Saturday; I have also allowed them to call you if they want and you may call them during the week if you wish.

The best way you can be a partner in raising them is to call and encourage them, know what they are doing, remind them that schoolwork and attitude are all important, whether you are with them physically or on the phone.

As to Kevin, he simply backs me up in discipline and correction of the kids, he doesn't institute it. Of course, the kids don't always like it that they can't run over me because I have someone to back me up; but that's life. Kevin has a slow temper and rarely raises his voice in anger; but he is firm and expects the children to behave appropriately, just like I do. I doubt they will tell you the good side, as they don't want to hurt your feelings and they love you very much. I have told them that Kevin does NOT replace you as their dad, that you are and always will be their only dad; but because he is married to me he will help me in raising them, and he won't let them be disrespectful towards me.

Anna

He replied with this:


I didn't get to see or hear from them in a yeaR ANd a half you cruel **&^&^%^%$ and can't undrerstand for the life of me why you continue to treat the children this way when you know what you know about biblical principles and all the rest. How you have continued to manipulate the siuation to benefit yourself is not of my concern but only the childrens welfare. It doesn't benefit anyone when you take Kevins instructions overmine as I have ONLY the childrens welfare in mind. You might think you're pretty smart but I plan to fight you tooth and nail towardgeting the kidsoutof that hostileenvironment and making it possiblefor them to be whoever they want to be .
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I'm at a loss as to what my response should be and wonder if I should continue visitation at all with this attitude. I've allowed because the kids want to see him and so far there do not seem to be any problems with his past. I'd appreciate suggestions.

Hi Anna,

I see red flags. How much do you know about the thought processes of a child abuser BEFORE they abuse? I would show the emails to a qualified children's counselor and get advice.

Depending on what the terms of visitation are, your next call might be to your attorney.

Good luck and take care.

Hi.

He's evil.

Save the email.

Demand supervised visits only.

You are entitled to them due to his record.

The children are entitled to that measure of safety as well.

I don't trust him Anna. People like that are not above hurting their own kids to hurt their ex.

Anna,

My gut reaction is that this is a threat, pure and simple.

Print all correspondences regarding this; document all visitations, dates and times; and immediately call your attorney.

Until your attorney gives you his/her advice, I suggest that you go into immediate Plan B-type silence, refuse/block all phone calls and emails (for the timebeing), wait for some wise council, listen to your own intuition (which you know is SCREAMING that he's getting off balance), and return to EXTREMELY STRICTLY following the custody agreement: "...only have supervised visits, no overnights, and go to sex offender counseling..."

You know as well as I do that he has NOT changed, is not willing to change, and that means he is completely capable of sexually molesting your children. I don't mean to alarm you, but Anna, you really do need to protect your children even if they are mad at you. Do it TONIGHT!!


CJ

Thanks all. He is so off the wall....I never replied to his email, and yesterday I got this message:

I have dresser downstairs and ready to go. If you want I can bring in town Mon. am and drop off at your work. Or I could bring it out this evening whichever you prefer but I think we ought to get ****s aquarium up and running, after all it's been better then a month and he still hasn't got to enjoy it yet? We can get fish for him then next weekend and the temp. will be right and the weather will be less harmful for transport.


JUst like nothing ever happened....my son had told him I needed to get a new dresser for him as his old one wouldn't fit up the stairs of our new (100 yr old) house. So I left him an email saying he could bring it out here and he called and was very polite and said he would. About 8 pm he showed up with it and was beyond polite to me and all "concerned" about whether I liked the new house and all.....He's kinda like keeping a rattlesnake in your bathtub, you're just never quite sure it's really safe.

It really helps to have friends here who see the situation more objectively....I tend to feel sorry for him and somewhat guilty for leaving him and breaking up his little "ideal world", even tho it was killing me and not good for the kids either.

Do you think he could have a split personality???