HI Everyone
I need your help, I am in so much pain any help would be appreciated.
About 2 months ago my husband and I had a fight about me not putting the baby on a schedule and I have always been a night person so I just let him stay up with me. He said he had said something enough that it should have been taken care of and I would say things like we dont have enough passion and he would say the baby is up, how can we do anything. I didnt change it but tried to have good moments with him after getting the baby asleep. He also said i didnt go anywhere with him.
He works hard six days a week for atleast 3 years and i barly get anytime with him he is constantly doing something. He just shut down on me one day and quit talking to me, smiling at me or acting like he cared about anything. He had gotten injured and was going to rehab 3 times a week and all he talked about was these people, he ask for a weekend alone and i said ok , we got in a fight and he left and didnt come back till the next day i i fell apart because i sat up all nite looking for him to return and he didnt.
he started treating everyone in my family different. He started saying he didnt know what he wanted anymore and wouldnt talk to me, so i started thinking he was doing something with someone and i started checking his sellphone and getting numbers off of it of people he was talking to and found a number for a girl that had the same first name as one of the rehab girls and one day he didnt come stright home and i found him at the rehab and ask about the girl
he said that number was a wrong number and this girl had a different last name and what was i about to do and i told him i was going to make him choose and he said he was trying to get some adise about his back (which had been hurting) and so he found out what i had been doing and was very unhappy with me. I told him just to chalk it up to the fact i was trying to save our marriage because i love him. NOw we are at an empass he says he loves me but is not in love and we are living together and i ask for a second chance he said cant i get over being mad first before i decide and its been a week and he says he may never get over this. so here i sit im taking care of him and the baby as usual but he barly talkes to me and i feel so empty i dont know how much longer i can do this without any hope.

mnm,

First of all you should probably move this post over to the emotional needs section of this site. Your issue is not divorce, but the status of your marriage and there are many people there that will respond to you. You can cut and paste this post or you can retype it or you can put a URL in a post on that portion of MB to your original post. If you don't know how to do this it is very simple. I will use { } brackets so that I don't actuate the URL, You will use square brakets. You can get the address at the top of your Web browser, just highlight it and use the copy function in the edit list.

But here is what it would look like with me using the curly brackets {url=http://www.marriagebuilders.com/cgi-bin/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=reply;f=34;t=012039}MNM's post {/url]} IF you copy this and change the curly brackets to square it will work. It will leave the name I gave it (you can change it)as MNM's post and you can just click on it.

Now I would strongly recommend that you read the articles here. Start with Love Busters and the concept behind them. You are doing plenty and it is hurting your marriage. Then read about "radical honesty" and the policy of joint agreement, POJA. Finally read about the 4 rules for a good marriage. All of this is very simple but it is not easy to implement, but if you do I think your marriage will change around. Your H is in withdrawal, and I am guessing but I think he feels you don't really care any longer.

Finally, I think you should read about NEEDs and look at the needs questionaire. This is important in that everyone acknowledges that their spouse has needs, but often they don't know what they are or how to meet them. People assume that their needs are like their spouses and treat them as such. This is very wrong and it is important for you to learn what your H's needs are.

So do some reading, consider posting on emotional needs, you will be more responses and they will be addressed to your issues.

God Bless,

JL