it's been awhile since i've been here,,
ran into some more issues. I was fired, wasn't able to get a full time job, utilities shut off, and eventually, me and my 4 children were evicted. I think I gave poverty a new definition,, i know poverty gave me some new kind of feelings. I, along with my children, were actually homeless for a short time.


Anyhow,,just dropping in,, saying hi to everybody.

Stephan

b/t/w-- W filed to stop the D last Feb. But nothing what-so-ever has changed,,?? we have an appointment Nov. 8th with MC???????????????

I was scanning through the posts--- And Big Hello and huge huggs to you and your family. I don't know you--I fairly new. I was so saddened to the core of my heart to read about your misfortunes! That's simply dreadful news & position to be in to lose one's job, be a paycheck away from hitting a bottom like that. To experince homelessness with 4 kids is so brutal& harsh blow.

Truth is slipping through the cracks like that can happen to anyone in twinkling of an eye. I am terribly sorry that you and children had to endure.

Your children were/are fortunate that you were strong enough to brave the hardships and love them. I am sure they will never forget the experince and your love for them!

I am especially saddened you make no mention of a church community to help you & precious family? I grieve, this cuts my heart, there is no need for any family to endure such saddness, or distress.

I don't know your story-- but hope that the mc goes well for you and your spouse. I hope she will open her heart!

I will keep you in my prayers. I wonder too, if directing your post also over to gen questions might be wiser to direct. Many of your dear friends may be on. The traffic and response level from what I hear, is so much higher and people pretty alive.

On this side most of us are pretty numbed in the brain, and slower in picking up responses. Largely battered from the Divorce process itself, which ensures more pain.

How are things now for you and your children?

Take care, please, please, keep posting here...

Hey skydiver,
with church, at that time, we were attending a church. Since we've moved, and this has been the last two weeks, we've been to church 2 times.

I suppose due to pride, I made the decision to try to handle my issues as best I could, w/o asking for help.
I'am on state assistance, and they would have helped, if I could have came up with $585.00.

My children, they're doing ok. They truly like where we moved to. Often they express their thoughts/feelings about missing/loving mom, and wishing she would come home,,,???

Thanks for the reply.
Stever

Hey Stever, thanks for sharing- I do now understand from your perspective- Male pride aspect of being honor bound goes very deep in some men. I would like to share a wonderful true story of hope with you, to encourage you!

Last yr at this time my good friends hubby had a severe breakdown. Over an affair. They were evicted had to move from their rented ackrage. The stress, combined with martial stress, a giant move, money problems, led to another breakdown for her husband by his snapping up & later deserting his family altogether.

Later we discovered ended up with a bad type of woman. Long story short they moved to another small town in the country& didn't know anyone. All whole new set of conditions. Business dried up in the winter. They tried hard picking up work, working in snowstorms to make money with a tree pruning service. It was brutal.

They hit hard times& I went into debt to help them& kids best I could, my time, engery to help them rebuild. Things between did actually got better then drastically worse. I just knew in my heart that somewhere in these deep country hills there just had to be God's good people somewhere. Finding them was another problem.

My friend and I prayed, it was bleak. Leap of faith I suggested she contact a church out of the blue in town. We had nothing to lose. Many churchs have the sadly the reputation of not knowing how to help families in crisis. She did- made the blind faith call. The pastor on the other end was incredible& said he be over the next day!!! What a home visit? Unheard of!

What a day of God's compassion that was which brought tears to all of our eyes. Amazing story.
First thing this blessed pastor did was take the the bull by the horns-gave my friend a love gift check of $500.00 for groceries. We prayed, prayed. He then arranged car rides for her to get into town from the members at church. Also helped with next 2 month rent.

She and her two girls were pretty isolated. The church started praying for her husband every Wednesday. The pastor telephoned her husband, arranged to meet in hotel where they talked for 4 hrs. No one knew about this huslter &bad companions, he had met while on living on his own in a campground. Called the wilderness. Truly a wilderness experince.

Entire, situation really went down hill. My friend husband went awhol. I called the situation waco.It truly felt like that a certain places.

Her husband refused to help her and kids. He was so cruel. Then the landlord had evicted my friend,and her children. Had enough from her husband. Not easy to find a place in fourteen days, move entire household, 7 horses, 2 dogs& 2cats, with no money, no vechile, her own family refused to help her.

I even called her family (ld) but they were so rude, mean couldn't care less what happened to her, children. Public assistance were supposed to help but didn't.

The stress was absolutely unbearable. Everyone has their breaking point. My friend didn't want to burden the pastor or church any further. No where to go. Things were looking pretty grim. All hope seemed lost.

On the secong day of the month-great despair sunk in! I was very upset. My friend is an incredibly strong, brave, bold, courageous person. To see a human being broken down to such low levels was so incredibly painful. It can happen to anyone.

I prayed and contacted the pastor at home in the morning explained the situation. God moved hearts into such action. In fact, I told the pastor if anything happened to this family as direct result of social services negilence to leave a woman, children stranded that I would get contact the press/media from my city.

This family needed help. The pastor was so wonderful, he agreed! But wished my friend would have come forward. She didn't want to burden the church. He felt this was truly God territory. If it's God will, He'll foot the bill.

The pastor said that the church would help with a damage depoist and move. My friend was overjoyed she found a place in the paper without seeing it.

The pastor had gone to social assistance and found out there her file was misfiled, lost, unprocessed. The next morning my friend was standing out on her deck. She was crying talking to me on her cell. All of a sudden a giant cloud of dirt appeared on the horizon. Down the road was a convoy of seven pick up trucks & van were heading down her house. It was an incredible unforgetable moment of God blazen glory!!!

The pastor and guys from the church showed up at 8:00 am. Within an hour all the contents were moved from her home to a condo unseen by her in town. Talk about a miracle!!!

Within another hour more cars lined up it was all the ladies from the church to clean up the entire house. My friend was just crying and crying! I was crying! The love of God, brothers, sisters in Christ she never met were on her door step.

When my girlfriend arrived to her new condo it was beautiful. Walking in the guys and pastor had unpacked all the major items, hooked up all the electronics. What a joyful moving day. Done in less than half a day!

I on the other hand couldn't be there to help. I live in the city, had a terrible kidney infection that had me flat on my back. God was so great& rich in his mercy. I was there in spirit.

The kids were elated in joy...while I was talking to the girls. All of sudden I hear Jesus was here again. What I thought to myself. Yes, many of the church ladies had dropped by to fill up their entire pantry, freezer with food& goodies.

One member of the church had donated several hundreds of dollars for them to go out for dinner. Hope her wayward husband would feel the love of Christ! What unspeakable joy!

I had never seen anything like this of Christ love in action at work, in my entire life!

My friend husband came back to move the garage contents. He was blown away, the shame he felt wasn't enough to soften his heart---Unfortunately, the bad company he was involved with by his loneliness, foolishness, upted their antics to him weaken him futher. Nasty story... of how low a person can sink and how misery loves company!

We have all been praying for him for over year. It seems God is breaking him, and wants to put the family together again. We don't know how things will go. He's stubborn one. It's been a rough year for my girlfriend, she has a small job barely making end meet. Compared to the lucrative family business they lost.

I would greatly encourage you to pray and open up and share with your pastor. It isn't easy to open up, and wasn't easy for any of us, especially my friend. We had to try something! We were so desperate... I couldn't bare to watch everyone fall through the cracks, especially with small children involved.

Going through my own finacial drain resulting from my stressful divorce, only so much I could do. I told God I was at whits end. What now God was my plea. Help us now!

It took 50 people to get them through. One family from the church boarded her horses for awhile, other people from the country have come through since. They are down to 4 horses at the moment.

I can well appreciate your little children missing their mommy. The confusion, pain, fear, and deep longing they must have!

I will pray for you that this church you are visiting will open their hearts wide open to GOD, you, and your entire family...

Wow, it's exactly one year ago today that God came shining through!!!

Now you know why in more detail why your situation touches my core. At the time my friend husband was to weak, depressed & stressed to reach out to a church and she was in the same boat. Emotional exhaustion, devastation that affair impact has.

Things got pretty wild and volatile as I was the peace keeper. At times lives were on the line. A delicate dance on my part to keep things smooth, calm-disconnect from my own hurt/ pain.

What her husband needed coming out of the prior affair was some good strong Christian mature men to befriend him. Since, he didn't have any real friends, or good ones. Thought he could battle it all on his own. Good intentions. He's a very, very hard worker, so I know you can understand where he was coming from. Just a few more contracts they would be caught up in the bills.

I pray all good things!

BLESSING, your way! God can do some amazing, wild things!

If your pastor is moved, maybe he would like to read my post... God is for the widows, orphans, strangers. There are great blessings upon a church when hearts are sensitive to His desire, Will. Also blessings can disappear from a church that shuts outs people in need. We have a mighty GOD!!!

The entire body was especially blessed, a crisis can really be an opportunity, to bring people together in greater joy, satisfaction! The church was humming on Sunday morning!!!

Hugs!!!

Thanks so much,, this is truly inspiring. It only shows that our God is a loving God, and His work is always endless.

One of the other reasons i decided to not ask, is that i'm being fortunate for what i do have, and or recieve. I also take into consideration that i'm sure there is someone with more needs than my family. Do ya understand what i mean? Someone less fortunate than where my children and myself are, or were.

I finally did get a job, only to find out two days ago, it's soon to end,,?? With making ends meet, with the job i currently have, it's simply not happening. I'm continuing to fall further and further behind. State assistance, sometimes i wonder if these workers act or feel as though they are dipping into their own pocklet books/wallets??

Yes, i'am looking for another job, along with a p/t job included. One of my current worries, is with Christmas rapidly approaching. WIth four children, and two moms who show that their own wants/needs are more important then their childrens,, it's saddening. This tugs at my heart strings,,, for each of them involved,, along with all the other children included.

I remember thinking for awhile, that how could i ask anybody for anything. I know how God wants a family to be, so for soo long I walked the walk, talked the talk, trying/wanting to keep my family together,again, the way God designed, praying daily for the opportunity for an reconcilation, was even in my every breath.

With this in mind, also had an impact as to why i didn't feel i should, or could ask for anything. I was left thinking, knowing that i'am accountable for being in the position, how could i possibly ask for anything. I hope this makes sense??


My 6 year old daughter with brain tumor, she is a constant reminder that there is a God, a good God, as she is my miracle child. I do thank God.
I suppose at times, i do forget in other areas,,??

Again, thank you
Stever

Hi Stever,

God's inspiring love is endless! I had never experinced any like it. My friends felt much like you--yes I do know what you mean--been there too felt the same way!

I don't doubt your faith or gratiude, to be content wanting enough for your children. I am soo very soory that this job didn't work out either. Your doing the very best you can!

True there are so many that are even more dire straits. I think the hardest part is for people to go through this life without God to help them, comfort and give them strength.

Your right on about public assistance-- for many of these people not all-the majority of funds pay high salaries, so for some the motive for the job is a paycheck, and sadly many are deeply troubled people themselves.

Very little goes to the familes. I am saddened. I have seen a great deal of injustices in that area it's shameful. Few good highly wonderful social workers but not enough to go around. I have worked in the non-profit sector for many yrs & first hand see what good hearts, with little monies involved can truly accomplish.

Woah, two different mom's here. That's terribly complex... I was under the impression of one woman involved. Man do you have headaches, heataches.

I am so saddened that your young daughter has a brain tumor. That just breaks my heart so sad. Blessed is her faith. I am just in tears. God has given you amazing grace and a great measure of faith! When did she develop the tumor? How does your daughter care & treatment work? Does she have special support care?

I hope you won't be so hard on yourself, God wants as His children to ask. Took me years to feel comfortable with his TRUTH. He is so approachable-- the scriptures say so. Turth is none of us deserves anything, not one of us. We have all messed up. Romans 3:23 clarifies that one.

My friend pastor actually was so greatful to know about this situation in time. He would have though much perfered knowing sooner. To prepare, plan.

Real God moment opportunity for the church to come together. All one can do is be honest and share their story. For some people doing so is so easy and others difficult.

Otherwise things could have gotten much worse. I will pray for employment opportunities for you!!! Christmas is definately not far around the block.

I would be happy to contact your church too. Such a blessing to see God love activated. What state do you live in?

Thank you for sharing your circumstances I am still deeply saddened, blessed and pained. I will be on my knees!

I was checking out various ministries in the US- if ever check out Pastor Tony Evans church in Dallas Texas. Urban Project turn around is absolutely wonderful testimony of when God and his people take charge in the eastend of Dallas. Truly incredible, your heart would be so inspired...

www.ocbfchurch.org

Take care--am in prayer!!!

Hi,
I have to share a story with you.

When my daughter was 2, she awoke, can't exactly remember if it was from a nap. or during bedtime. Anyhow she awoke talking all about Jesus, saying, daddy daddy, Jesus loves her, Jesus loves me,,Jesus loves everybody,,, when my daughter who's now 16, she to had a very similar dream when she was 2.

When my daughter was hospotalized,(age 3) she asked about going to church. Her doctor refused, due to all the IV's, heart line, tubes,,?? Veronica was quite sad. Moments later doc returned and granted permission afterall. I placed her in her little wagon, pulled her and everything else to the waiting room where the services were.

We were actually quite late, the service was over. Somehow the pastor heard of Veronicas request, so pastor met Veronica and myself in the waiting room, and began her sermon. Veronica was so touched.

With her situation, the docs state that her tumor began either before birth, or shortly after.

We know the docs paint the worse possible scenario,(my opinion anyhow) anyhow he stated that death would be her better option. Her tumor was larger than a golf ball, and involved her brain stem. Doc was convinced that "if" Vee awoke, she would be a vegatable. This was when he added saying,,"we now look at death as a whole new perspective.,," also saying you wouldn't want that kife for your daughter,, then he said, you don't have to put her thru this surgery, you can just let,,,,

Veronica has always had a passion for flowers, birds, and such, more than the average 2 year old. Of any child i've known that is. When she turned 3, she wanted flowers for her birthday, so her and I went to the store, purchased seeds, and then to the greenhouse. We planted her flowers,, then a few days later it snowed. Most didn't make it.
Two months later, she was hospitalized. About a month after, the W and I went home for a few hours. I checked on the flowers Vee and I planted,,, i ended up picking two vases full, when Vee realized they were flowers she and I planted, well, you know, they were that much more special.

To this day, Vee has required nothing! Except two surgeries. No chemo, radiation,,nothing. There has been some scary moments, the last time was last Sept. Her temp was at 107, two weeks later, her temp was 92. The tumor is currently about the size of a BB, with no changes for 3 years now.

Her doctor, more toward the begining, would comment like he doesn't understand, she is remarkable,,,a few times with tears in his eyes. often i'd look up saying, thank you God. God does work His miracles.

Veronica walks, talks, jumps, does it all!!! She has some balance problems, and weak on one side, needs surgery for her eyes,,, but she is here. Apparently God has something wonderful in mind for her. She is my miracle child,, they all are, but with her,, it's more. With my borrowed time with my children, i do set out to do the best i can.

Special support care?? I'm not sure what this is, so i suppose the answer is no. We have the prayers, and when we don't go to church, she's real sad,, ??

"Turth is none of us deserves anything, not one of us. We have all messed up." Romans 3:23 clarifies that one. SO TRUE.


We live in Michigan. And we're all hoping and waiting for snow. :-)

I so appreciate your posts,, thank you. Thank God. and i too am back at praying,,, i allowed myself to give up.?? which also has something to do with appreciating your posts, i'm back to praying.

Stever

<small>[ November 03, 2004, 03:34 AM: Message edited by: Stephan ]</small>

Stever,

Bless you for sharing about your daughter Veronica. I am stunned into unspeakable realms of silence, so deeply moved beyond words, and just sitting here crying away. She TRULY IS YOUR MIRACLE baby so close to God, and keeps you all so close to HIS HEART. That is simply breathtaking amazing! Thank you for your heartfelt sharing! I'm awestruck....feel the sad, sorrow, and your joy...

I just need to forward this poem. I am not sure if you have heard of it--the words tie together with your children love for Jesus, and His feelings for them and all of you.

My friend works at a elm school. Hands this poem out to the kids at her school, who are having a hard day. They stop her in the halls to pray with them. I am always so moved when kids are so on tight with Jesus. I will respond a little more in my next post. One of my favorite poems, because it is so true and applicable for all of us. God wants us to come to Him as a child, freely. Hope you will enjoy this. There is a wonderful message here.


Dear Friend,

I just had to send a note to tell you how much I love you and care about you. I saw you yesterday as you were walking with your friends.

I waited all day hoping you would want to talk with me also.

As evening drew near, I gave you a sunset to close your day and a cool breeze to rest you.

And I waited but you never came.

It hurt me, but still I love you because I am your friend.

I saw you fall asleep last night and I longed to touch your brow. So I spilled moonlight on your pillow and your face.

Again, I waited, wanting to rush down so that you could talk.

I have so many gifts for you. But you awakened late the next day and rushed off. My tears were in the rain.

Today you look so sad, so all alone. I saw you walking to school, down the halls. It makes my heart ache because I understand. My friends let me down and hurt me so many times. But I love you.

Oh, if you would only listen to me. I really love you. I try to tell you in the mountain streams and give the birds love songs to sing.

I clothe you with warm sunshine and perfume the air with nature's scents. My love for you is deeper than the oceans and bigger than the biggest want or need in your heart.

If you only know how much I want to help you. I want you to meet my Father. He wants to help you too, my Father is that way, you know.

Just call me, ask me, talk with me, please, please don't forget me...

I have so much to share with you. But I won't hassle you any further. You are free to call me. But it's up to you.

I'll wait... because I LOVE YOU!

Your friend,

JESUS

Just me again...

I just appreciate hearing about Vee-Very Great Faith. Being so so so sick, keeping her appointment with God& pastor. That's just beautiful and heartwarming. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

I hope, you will pray about, consider writing a book, keeping a journal. You and your family certainly have so much to offer, & share!!! I just have lots, lots of God bumps... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Imagine Vee wanting flowers for her birthday-- this is not the average kid. Tuned into GOD POWER& FLOWER POWER...Vee one pretty amazing remarkable kid!!!

My the doctors must of been just blown away---they really try to prepare parents for the very worst and have seen the worst. Not all parents are created equal, can cope or have a strong personal foundation to deal with the negative stress, disappointments, set backs or skill sets to handle their children pain or limitations. Takes a lot of love, sacrifice, demands.

I met some pretty cranky doctors and good doctors, many who do understand, many who don't,many have good intentions, some that are lost in the park after dark. But they sure are human, fallible too, and mess up...

I could really feel want you meant wit the doctors verdict. That old pit to my stomach memories certainly comes back to me, in regards too of my two children when struck with terrible news. Remember being persuaded to adopt the doc doom verdicts. I just didn't feel right either. I went to God to seek His will, intervention on behalf of my children.

Faced with sad dilemmas, life altering choices, and so pleased I did what I felt was right to do. Certainly can relate to difficult times, times of sheer despair, deep deep down days in the valley days.

Later God brings his joy visits, looks into the matter, something wonderful begins to work in changing the course of my kids lives...

God is so amazing& manages to confound doctors all the time. I can't imagine what life was like to discover your daughter so ill. What a journey of hope, what a joy, to see Vee shining everyday. I am sure that you love all your kids very much.

I am surprised to learn that no social support was provided for your family considering the needs within your family dynamics are great.

Question has anyone ever connected your family with the Wish Foundation? Are you familiar with this organization. Pretty wonderful! Say, have you read lately 2 corinthians chapter 9, especialy verse 9?

Yes, winter is fast approaching. I live up in Canada here-- we already have snow on the ground and the cold weather is creeping in daily. The birds though have been bouncing off my windows, from all the berries they have been feeding up on.

Our summers are but blush, quik and short. Do you live near Grand Rapids or in smaller town setting?

I greatly appreciate your faith! I am still praying for you and your entire family!!! Something wonderful is sure to happen!!!
<img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Hi again,

i only have just a few minutes,, i worked late last night,

interesting thoughts about writing a book, with a journal, if the amount of notebooks i currently have filled can qualify. I'm at about 20 notebooks now.

Answer pertaining to Wish foundation,, no, no one.

About reading 2 Corinthians, after you asked, i just looked that verse up and read.

Actually i live between Kalamazoo and Paw Paw now.

I hope it's ok to say this to you, but i do like hearing about you and your lifes issues, pleasures and such. I'm sure i've been quite selfish, caught up into my personal dilema, and daily struggles. I do apologize. I realize the inspiration after reading your replies.

Everybody has a story to tell in life, no matter the size, pain, or saddness, to that individual, the saddness, hurt and pain, are the same. Maybe to them, it's just as big as the next persons dilema. Just my opinion there,,:-)

You live in Canada,, are you French? Do oyu think with me there is an automatic myth that everyone from Canada is French? lol

And you already have snow? Do you get out and make the most of winter? Do you ski? I suppose maybe with having 4 children, and myself liking winter, the snow brings out the child in me,, i go sledding with the kids, make snow forts, and try to take them skiing.

I agree, summers are too short. Anymore it seems like winter, and cold months linger on,,,too long. After about two to three months,, i'm ready for spring, and springs flowers.

Vee sure would thoroughly enjoy the birds bouincing off the windows,, not for the pain associated,, just she is convinced that one day she'll be able to sneek up on a bird and catch him, she spends a lot of time trying,,lol

One day i told her that if she is able to pour salt on a birds tail, then she'll catch it,, any idea how much salt i started going thru??

She insists that i, keep some bird feed, seeds and suet out for the birds.

"God is so amazing."
God does work His wonderous ways, Thank God.

AS i'm running away from this spot,, have a wonderful day,, God Bless you and yours.

Stever

Hi again,

Thankyou, for your very kind reply! Am distracted. My son is at home sick needed mom's attention& tlc. He's feeling relief today. Flu season is upon us. Am cooking up a storm for my daughter part two wedding tomorrow.

Terrific! You have kept journals! That's awesome delightful news!!! Write on!!! Yes, I am sure a wonderful book is needed as you and your children would encourage, and give hope to so many other hurting families!

You have so much to offer!!! I am so happy you have choosen to do the hard work of fatherhood! So many struggling fathers are so lost, missing in action, with out a firm sense of direction, would be so blessed, encouraged, mom's and KIDS!!!
Please pray about it!! I mean it and am sincere!!

I am so deeply touched that you were sensitive to plant a flower garden with Vee. I love hearing stuff like that. What a deep message of the heart to your children! So many dad's miss such tender moments with their daughters, sons.

Sad many fathers think that they have to buy everything, but planting fond memories goes so deep in kids hearts! Many children really want the time, just too experince their dad's love.

I am sure your children never forget! I am kinda sensitive on flowers as I am also a florist. So that nice memory speaks to my heart to all the budding little rosebuds out there.Truth is, God, our precious father planted us a beauitful garden called earth. Our beloved Savior tells to consider the lillies and birds of the air!!!

I am surprised you haven't heard about the make a wish foundation. If I may suggest checking out the website in regards to Vee. The wish foundation is an absolute wonderful organization, can't say enough about them. They are so simply wonderfully, marvelous and very approachable!!!

I just looked up the address for you in the US. Found two. Main sites& your area.

www.wish.org

www.wishmich.org

Sidenote. One of my dear friends, also a terminally disabled child Jenny. Jenny had her wish come true of visiting Disney Land with her mom. Dad was kinda of displaced. Plus my xh- niece little Ali- sadly developed cancer 2 yrs ago, she's ok now. Her wish was just a local camping trip with her sister, 2 brothers, mom,& dad. That wish came true with a giant motor home& camping they did go, were premitted to keep the motor home!

My best friend, illustrated her first children book for terminally ill kids, for the wish foundation here in Canada called " before I say goodnight" by Julia Porter. So I would encourage you pray and consider looking up this site, I bet Vee must have some incredible dreams!

No, your not being selfish! You have every reason to be zoned, focused into your world, carrying a heavy load there. I just hope I haven't overwhelmed you with my friend story of hope! I have seen to many people slip through the cracks needlessly.

True, true, we all do have a story to share, each person story is precious. I always learn alot from other people journeys, from their pain, hardships, trimuphs, grow, learn how deeply blessed I really am and not to be so self centered, and selfish.

I see much clearer now thanks to you--so thankyou for blessing me!!!!As I grieve for you& your family and pray deeply. I am reminded of my blessings today. Moved to have a good talk with my kids the other day, we talked about the accumulation of things we were holding on too.

All agreed that we have become to selfish, these hetic days ourselves. We reminded ourselves of the hard times, and how far God has brought us& blessed. Time for another tune-up, re-evalaute, time to organize rooms possesions, let go of things, focus, pass it along.

My kids were in such agreement, now ready to let go of most their childhood belongings. It had to come from their hearts!

As for me, no I'm not French. Eh-- Ay- our favorite Canadian expression.

I would have loved to speak more French, every language learned is such a benefit. The French part of Canada is so beautiful as the language. My son though is spending his last several summers learning french.

Can see why you would support the myth us Canadians are all French! Compared to the amount of people you have living in the US-I am amazed at the population, and towns everywhere. It's dizzy.

I live on the western side of Canada-which sees English as the only way to go. My province & is all about oil, cattle& wild west! My city is best described as the sister city to Dallas, Tx-without the warm weather. Nice we have alot of clean air, blue skies most of the time, mountains &country so close by. Lots of never ending prarie...

I so do enjoy the winter outdoors immensely. No I haven't skied for about 5 yrs. Managed to swing the funding flow primarily to my kids education, lives. Everything is for them first. My turn will come eventually.

Sad to say, but my x took the lion share of everything for himself&extremely competive--taking majority of the fun, joy out of things with his me, me, only me comes first.

Sad he couldn't chill& have fun most of the time.
We are de-thawing& coming along, so we will be able to enjoy most of winter outdoors fun again. Hockey is a big pastime out here.

Thinkin again about your very touching cute story about Vee trying to catch birds. Awe! She is so wonderfully sweet !! She's a little precious bird herself.
Salt on a bird tail--that's alot of salt packages!lol

Definately, I am in agreement with Vee, when possible get the whole package meal deal going on with the birds, seed & suet... They are such funny charcters to watch for hours, especially when they become familiar with your place.

I hope you will one day be able to get to that state to feed them, takes everyday committment. I haven't been that focused yet but hoping to, they look so forward to the routine, when I do I would like to have a special heated water fountain,,,

The Robins, bluejays moved into back yard this summer, and also bove my mail box at the front of house. Lots of squirrels on my roof,& one legged squirrel took over a birdhouse in our giant laurel willow tree. I couldn't believe that one. Needed to do a double take. Was I seeing things or what?

Usually kept my blinds closed to prevent collisions. So sad when the birds bezonk in the windows. When the squads of cedar wax wings show up.One says OUCH--for them, but they get so festive, excited saying their goodbyes, pretty intoxicated-fly in somepretty different zigzag formations. Ouch, ouch, thud, thud.

Actually speaking of birds--had a little chickdee- fly into my kitchen a few weeks ago, sweetly perched on the top rail of the lights, chillin. I was surprised to see he/she just calmly hangin out unafraid. Did a double take. Thought lets do another double take. Delighted by the visit, completely baffled how he got in.

As my kitchen window was only open about 6 inches, with a curtain drawn. I tried to open all the doors, pulled the curtains back over the windows, opened wide to set up for qik zip take off path. To set him free at his/her own zoom pace whenever he/she was ready.

The temp was rather cold outside, light snowing, lots of buddies outside. I hadn't noticed this variety come in, usually we have lots of sparrows owning the yard and skies above my house..

What I was really concerned about was my dogs might really upset this tiny bird. But no. This bird was calm, we looked at each other &nodded, sort connected to say hi there, welcome, stay awhile.

This lovely bird did a quik nod back, almost to say ok, kept doing what your doing, I'm chillin, stain in doors, up here if you don't mind, stayed calm. Thought to myself this is definately not typical wild bird behavior of whoops shouldn't be here, clammer, flap, squak...

Few minutes later, coming to check on my vistor, the bird was gone out of the kitchen. I didn't hear a noise. Assumingly though it must have found its way out asap. Walking into my living room. Noticed the cute adorable bird nestled deeply up in living room sheer curtains that look like nests.

I just laughed. Thought how did this bird find it's way. Then thought-- Lord in that moment. Your truly are just so kool, so good in every way. Even taking care of this little poor bird, knew he needed a break for his journey to who knows where.

This sweet tiny bird was one extreme expression of a calm unruffled bird. Slept for a good few hours. I come out of my office, walk into my kitchen, notice my deep blue samuri fish on my kitchen table also at complete rest at the very bottom on the bowl. Check in with him, give him a quik swirl, he wakes up with a stunned nod, oh it's you, doozes down, back to rest. I smile, shake my head at that one.

Walk back into my living room,my two dogs are chillin, on their backsides on the thier heads, paws in the air, resting, snoring away. Look up the bird is still sleeping. The scene is too ultra cute. (It's taken me two yrs to calm my dogs to relax, to the deep levels they do particularily, my spotty dalmatian Ms Jazz.)

All of sudden this bird peeps& wakes up,looks down at me with a brief head nod, sighs, oh it's you, pretty calm. Gives me attitude look, with half a head nod--almost as if to stay-- Life with the gang here, iz good,cozy, nods off!

I'm just in awe. I just sighed & laughed out loud at this joyous cute God moment of contentment. Yes, I thought I am privy& standing right in the midst of a true God moment with his delightful creatures. Mindful at that moment. He loves us all,& takes care of us in one way or odd way ever. It's was all good.

Later checking in on the bird, he had vanished almost in thin air. Somehow, found his own way out. How he found his way out so smoothly,really baffled me again. Thought how did he do that just vanish.

Considering with all my windows in the front room, giant mirror in on one wall, mirrored tiled wall one another, thinking will my dogs wake up, making a fuss& other wall obstacles were my next concern. How to set this bird free.

I didn't want the bird to have a fright, excitement, or bad experince. Thought here's the real challenge in helping this bird out the maze of my living room. How do I guide him out safely, without confusion, noise, fuss? Well the dogs, were so relaxed still down in doggy zone, snoozing& this little bird quietly vanished as how he appeared on with it's journey.

I felt so extremly blessed by God sending a little wild bird for a visit. Almost as an reminder for me to keep looking up. Strong presense, and message. Our Lord does take good care of us. Remember, to -Relax, slow down, enjoy the moment, the present, the right now. Let GOD be GOD-- let Him take care of his creatures in peace.

You mentioned you live inbetween Kalamzoo, & paw, paw. I looked that up on my map.. Quite a long way from Grand Rapids. I have a former colleague that lives out side city that I worked with in student exchange. She has problems with racoons running off with their birdhouse in the forest.

In fact, she got me involved with foreign exchange students in the first place, with a distress sos telephone call. Right in the middle of my work when I was operating a flower shop, working happily away. Saying-can you Canadians help our American non profit exchange program. Find a Mexican teenage boy a host family, home, school for a yr who has a dream to experince Canada. My world changed forever from that point on.

Hope you don't mind me being to forward but what type of work do you do? My colleague has such a large network in MI with host families, volunteers etc... I could put out the word, some feelers, see what comes back. One never knows--

Student exchange world, we have learned to put the word out and ask dream& pray for the impossible to happen. Usually, the most remarkable things do happen. Believe me in our student exchange world we have some pretty long invisable arms to get the most amazing things accomplished.

Anyways, I have bailed my colleague out so many times in most hair raising, impossible desperate situations, circumstances. Sure she wouldn't mind my asking. Pray about that if that would be alright of what type of work your looking for.

I am always brainstorming, problem solving about something! I would be pleased to do so..

Hope you will consider checking out the WISH FOUNDATION?!!!???

Remember to dig out those journals, book is waiting to be written, lots of inspiration !

Have a wonderful day--- thank you again for your kind posts and sharing!!!. Bless you! Still prayin!!!!

Hi Skydiver,

i must admit, you had me worried for a bit,, :-) lol

I think you should write a book. I know i'm sure inspired, and then some after reading your, i don't necassarily mean your replys,,but thats the only was i know how, or dare to say it, hoping that makes sense??

I think your children are fortunate to have such a devoted, loving and wonderfully caring mother. God gave those borrowed lives to you for a reason, and you apparently are making the most and best of your time.

I'm sure with a lot of "your" tlc your son improved much quicker.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> Am cooking up a storm for my daughter part two wedding tomorrow.
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Does this mean she's soon marrying??

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> Yes, I am sure a wonderful book is needed as you and your children would encourage, and give hope to so many other hurting families!
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">If I may just say, ditto dear. As you have to this family,, i'm hoping it's ok that i've shared some of your thoughts, words, and such with my children.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> You have so much to offer!!! I am so happy you have choosen to do the hard work of fatherhood! So many struggling fathers are so lost, missing in action, with out a firm sense of direction, would be so blessed, encouraged, mom's and KIDS!!!
Please pray about it!! I mean it and am sincere!!
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I seriously can sense your sincerity.
Skydiver, in my childrens case, the commitment you have chosen to accept, motherhood, it's as if the opposite where mine are concerned. Their mother has chosen more important things in life,, their own selfish wants/needs. Then children somewhere on the list? Rather its the career, or their own life.
Turn you and I around, and we are in each other's shoes. I add that, hoping that i'm understood?

16 years ago at the birth of my first child, i choose to give all, and learn to be the best father i possibly could.
God choose me for these children for a reason. I can't let him down on my borrowed time.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> So many dad's miss such tender moments with their daughters, sons.
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">In my childrens case, their mom misses soo much. At Vee's flower B-day, mom was still with us, only mom choose to stay involved with her computer. That day i had the camera out, i downloaded them to the computer, so we could share that special day,, thru the computer screen, with mom. The same applied with trips to Lake Michigan, or playground,,, days mom easily could have went along.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> Sad many fathers think that they have to buy everything </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">This is what W thought. She thought that would make it all ok, and maybe even better. I suppose thats how a material individual could think/look??

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> I am kinda sensitive on flowers as I am also a florist. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I must say,, thats quite interesting! Although i'm not surprised though. I could sort of imigane this of you, just from the way you say certain things.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> God, our precious father planted us a beauitful garden called earth. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Amen, and thank you God!!!

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> I bet Vee must have some incredible dreams!
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Before her diagnosis,,, she has some awesome
dream(s). Only thing is, it took after her diagnosis to actually realize, understand or interpet. She used to have dreams about two little girls visiting her. Vee would see them rather day or night. No matter where we went. Although for the most part, they were restricted closer to home.

At first i thought she was doing the imaginary friend thing,,??

As time went by, a mean person entered, this was a male figure. There were names for each, and if i remember correctly, this guy was Virgil?? Each time Virgil entered, the two girl figures always came along.

Fast forward,,, i'm now convinced that God sent His guiding Angels to Vee. Nobody can, or will ever convince me otherwise.

After Vee came home, these dreams/visions no longer continued. God did His work.


</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> I just hope I haven't overwhelmed you,,, </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">For some reason, i already know this could never happen. I'll even add these !!!!!! lol

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> I am surprised you haven't heard about the make a wish foundation. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">My mistake,, i have heard of this organization. (Maybe i did my usual male reading thing) and didn't hear exactly,,lol I've heard of it, just didn't know much about it. Other than a few others who have had their wished come true from them. A girl from the community we just moved from, a short time after Vee was diagnosed, Courtney XXXX was diagnosed with the same form. Her wish was granted,,, and this past July she went back home to God. (saying with personal tears here) i think at this exact moment i was more of the flesh,, soft and weak. Skydiver,,i can admit, at times it's hard and difficult. I do struggle occassionally.??????

I think the tears at this moment was/are due to,,, when Vee first came home, i wanted/needed more info. I searched the internet,,everything i visited or found, the end results were that the child died. I couldn't continue. Eventually i looked at this as work of satan. God had other things in mind,, and that was for me to take other approaches.


When Vee wakes this morning, i'm sharing your bird visitor story with her,,, she'll just love that one. She so wants a bird. Her animal husbandry, is that of the extreme ultimate. Even at age 3, she made sure her dog Zoey had her food/water daily, along with daily walks. The sad thing now is,, when W left, eventually she came back and took Zoey. As she refused to allow Zoey to remain, even visit Vee for week-ends here at her home. She constantly asks for a bird, dog, or cat,, something. A cat (sorry) can't be an option though.

I have an aquarium with just guppies,,, for guite some time i had to constantly let Vee and her little brother know they can't take the fish out to play with. We lost maybe 6 or 7 from them wanting to play with them,, lol


</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> learn how deeply blessed I really am and not to be so self centered, and selfish.
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">As my eyes have been opened, again,, yeppers, thanks to you, along with God, bringing you to respond to my post.


</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> I felt so extremly blessed by God sending a little wild bird for a visit. Almost as an reminder for me to keep looking up. Strong presense, and message. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I experienced something similiar,,, but it involved a little squirrel. After this event happened a few more times, thats the message i had, look up,,,, thinking/convinced this was a message from God,,,, i never seen the squirrel again, after i recieved the feeling (message)this visit was from God.


</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> You mentioned you live inbetween Kalamzoo, & paw, paw. I looked that up on my map.. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">again hoping it's safe to say,, i was left touched. I liked hearing that. Please. don't take me wrong here ok? I'm not letting my thoughts run away,, ok,, not too far then,,j/k lol I think there are 2 towns between? Anyhow, it's Mattawan.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> Sad to say, but my x took the lion share of everything for himself&extremely competive--taking majority of the fun, joy out of things with his me, me, only me comes first.
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I do know that it is his loss. He did, and will miss out. Miss out on a wonderful opportunity. Not am i only referring to his children,, but the all of the you. My thoughts,,, you are truly blessed, along with remarkable,,, your true beauty of your person is obvious.


</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> Hope you don't mind me being to forward,,, </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Not in the slightest. Always feel free to ask, or be forward,,lol

Prior to getting married, i was self-employed in the manufactured/modular homes. From sets,tear downs, and all apects of remodeling/repairs.

I spent the last 2 years in management at Wal-Mart. ALthough i'm currently barred for life for re-hirement there. During the divorce/custody proceedings, i recieved an emergency phone call that i was needed home. Before i punched out, i paid for a tire i had ordered about 5 hours earlier in the day. It's against company policy to pay for items on the clock. Along with my emotional roller coaster being unstable,, i was terminated.

Since then, i've been taking jobs as they come along,,,?????? When i moved back to Mich from Montana in 86 or 87,(beautiful state) i went thru a training class at KVCC for machinist tool and die. Spent a few years doing this,,, as you know, i'm currently back into the construction field, w/ modular/manufactured homes. Thats really about all i now. I took a few classes/semesters in the Criminal Justice area. I "had" to postpone that, i'm willing to take any job,, that may happen to come along. If one comes along as well,, can you understand what i mean by this?? I'm in no position to refuse,, again, yesterday we were reminded that real soon, we will be done.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> Hope you will consider checking out the WISH FOUNDATION?!!!???

</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Yeppers, i've considered. Vee and I will be visiting, :-)

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> book is waiting to be written, lots of inspiration !
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">You are a determined lady huh? lol I'll share this suggestion with you,, i'll be inspired to write a book, when you decide to write yours. ??

I don't think i could ever write a book, i'm a wordy person,(as i'm sure you can tell) yet my english is quite broken, and i don't have a clue as to how to write, or where to even begin.

I must share this to you though, the thought sure has been in my foremost thoughts,,lately. So, obviously i'm being inspired,,:-)


My thoughts about French, is that everything about it is truly romantic. hoping that it was ok to share that intimate thought.


Dieu bénissent vous et le vôtre. Ayez un jour merveilleux. Vous êtes vraiment une inspiration.

You'll need to translate,, :-)

you are truly wonderful!! and a sincere heart filled "thank you," sent your way.
Stever

p.s. after scrolling back up, i realized i had a lot to say,, so i'm sorry for the length, and hoping not to bore ya,, to much. I almost deleted, then decided to leave this afterall.

Stephan:

I don't know your full story but I just wanted to say that I admire you as a human being. In my life I have seen such trajedy and complete devestation and yet I cannot imagine what it takes to do what you do and did. I am humbled by your story and strength. PLease accpet a pryaer from me. I only hope to have a fraction of your strength in dealing with with my life "issues".

Hey lemonman,

i do thank you for the nice comments and such.

If it's ok to say this in regards to accepting a prayer from you, thats wonderful. I'm hoping it's ok to ask for your prayers to include all the children, and not just those whose parent decide to check out the other side of the fence theory,, that the grass is greener.

Pray for all the hurting children, with a parent off to this war,, parent that decided to leave their marriage, and family,,,

I do walk with faith. Over these past few years, my faith haas ever so grown. Like last year when my cupboards were so bare, the mice even packed up and left. There were times when i didn't know where, when, or how the next meal, would come in,, God always knew.

When i was evicted, not knowing, or even having a place to go, especially with 4 children,, did God forget, no. I may have lost a lot of things in life, like our home, and certain material things we had to leave behind, but more important, I, along with my children, never lost our faith. We went to that bottom, and God still provided. We all have grown much close to our God, our God who does love each and every one of us,, all weneed to do, is seek Him.


Hey, i'm becoming carried away,,

Lemonman, i too don't know your story, as everyone does have one,, our prayers are with you and yours.

God Bless,,,

Job 42 talks about our ears hearing, our eyes seeing,,, i have heard, and i have seen.

Hi Stever,

A most unexpected heart touching response- you are most, most, most kind, considering the mega stressors your under!!! Again am very deeply touched!!!

Still trying to catch my wind from my daughter wedding on Saturday night. Considering the rush and topsy, turvey state our lives are in. God got us through it. Amen!!!

My daughter (21)& son inlaw (25) got married on Oct 10, out on the western coast. Private formal ultra romantic fairy tale ceremony-- of 15 of us. The announcement came out of a whirlwind. Less than a month notice- very unprepared, winded from my fresh dv wounds.

It was quite a ride. God& all the mbers here on the board, got us through that difficult passage with flying colors.

You mention your oldest daughter is 16-- hold on it's quite a ride through their teen yrs. Belive me!

Never imagined my daughter being soo crazy in love or her boyfriend. Such is love,life& her destiny! Saturday night wedding pt 2-- was a casual, relaxed party for all their friends here who couldn't attend in the celebration. Few of my friends& their families, who have stood by my daughter throughout her life's journey.

My daughter blocked out her dad, ow and his large entire family clan. Big step for her taking a stand, against all their mean spirits, and focusing on rebuilding a life with people who care about her.

With the grander expense of an out of town wedding already spent& time of year it is. The budget was tapped thin. The kids were pretty disappointed checking into places were so outrageously expensive here.

Their friends really wanting to still share in their celebration were kinda sad. Lots of sad hearts created & few more obstacles--If the weather was warm- we would had a grand party here but to cold to house everyone in our small house, without our deck, and backyard. We had lots of fun parties so the kids are quite used to. For me it's was back to GOD, to see what His plan was.

Keeping their wishes in mind& ultra low budget. I feel it's the gathering, spirit, heart that counts. Thought who better to party with than Irish-their of course being famous reputation for fume budgets&excellent good times. I trusted my instincts on that one & God.

Handed the case over to Him.
Sure enough, the Irish cultural center came thru--perfectly fit the budget, motive, means& right date. Praise God--we were able to have a very nice intimate, cozy, lovely relaxed pub style atmosphere, were we could all do our own catering.

The kids loved that one, hopes are up again--party back on, spirits in high gear. They did super, super job organzing the event, did lots of cooking themselves. I was impressed. My part was kind of hands off mom deal. Exception of cooking their great favorites dishes.

When I arrived at the reception, forgotten item ordered was wine on the tables. Had a mini panic. Too late now-- with all our guests seated, late in the evening to leave. So stuck--I prayed for an mini miracle, thought how can we have a wedding without wine? Thought oh Jesus-- your the wedding specialist!

Time for a little holy huddle, with grandma, the bartender- Presto-- the club had cases of wine on reserve- perfect--right amount for 18 tables! Amen!!! So unexpected, so appreciated!!!

Nice thing it was my sil parents 28 th wedding anniversary that night, of Nov 6, so I was joyful another family legacy continues.

On the sort of sad side, for our family,today would have been my x ours 24 yr ann. A little odd- Today is little weepy sensitive day for me but am very happy for my daughter, my son in law& his parents for loving one another & hanging on...

Wanted to share with you, that God put on my heart to do a little more research apart from the wish foundation. I am sooo thrilled you and Vee will both be checking out that site-jumping hoops on that one! Love to know what she thinks???

I am very,very sorry about your situation at walmart! I can't imagine how much that would hurt deeply, what a blow. Wow-very sad, very harsh& insensitive on their parts. Pretty common with grief& traumatic stress to have odd glitches things happen.

I was praying& processing your job skills, housing situation & your kind heartedness, compassionate concerns for others at the same time. I thankyou for feeling comfortable in sharing as I imagine it would have been difficult.

Flashblub moment occured to me, and what came upon my heart, was to look up on the web Habitat for Humanity. I was so pleasantly surprised, and very inspired by their projects, need for volunteers, & paid salaried positions.

Noticed a very complimentary duality here with your skills sets, complex circumstances of care for a special needs child, your obvious nature of being community minded. Thought this could be a an all round win/win situation for your family& organization.

Anyways, hope you don't mind but again. I took the liberty today of looking up Habitat in Kalamazoo-- yes check, they have an office in your area. Thier mission goals perfectly fits targeting helping families like yours attain reasonable housing to stablize.

Combined with your strong faith, skills set with mobile construction+ management skills, first hand understanding what families go through, thought the combination could possibly work where everyone benefits.

If you are open minded to this concept/site the address: Check menu- App-to own a home- volunteers request, salaried positions.

www.habitat.org


As for my looking up things on maps-- not a problem and really enjoy doing so!

What I did all the time with my student exchange programs.

I had to pinpoint towns, locations, countries, schools, media, flights, keep around the clock track at all times of my inbound,& outbound, wherea bouts of our students,families are located. At all times. Areas,volunteers, families, schools, where I was sending students, in our country.

Of course, knowing exactly students country of orgin-where I was sending & receiving people to& from.

To deliver non profit student exchange orgs at non-profit level, effectively keep expenses at bare bones.Cutting out high admin costs is the biggest. Student exchange offices are primarily home based, with one small head admin office.

So I have all sorts of maps in my office at home-Functioned with my computer, telephone, fax, maps, gift of the gab, lots of visual imagination& determination.

Up here in Canada, finding a school, and home for a student was literally looking for needles in a hay stack.

So I am very happy to help if I can--)

I will also contact my former colleague in Mich--now that things have settled. Now she is truly amazing-know almost every square inch of Mich.

Me again--

we have an appointment Nov. 8th with MC??????????????? [/B]

Praying for you& your wife appointment MC-hope there was a real break through &healing today for both of you!!!

<img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Hi,


Good morning Skydiver! :-)

I don't have much time this morning, but I did want you to know that i was here.


The wedding, it's nice to hear it went off wonderfully. I hope and pray for their marriage.

On a more personal note,, My heart goes out to and with "you",,,along with prayers.

I hope your day is a great one.

Stever

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> we have an appointment Nov. 8th with MC??????????????? [/B]

Praying for you& your wife appointment MC-hope there was a real break through &healing today for both of you!!!

</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">there was a break through. she cancelled.
she said she couldn't get away from her job, adding that she was so excited, and soo looked forward to this day,,,

so i thanked her for the opportunity, added i hope your day is good, ttyl.

still hoping your day is good! :-)

stever

i want to reply more to you later, as i do need to run now.

Stever- Good to hear from you today! Greatly appreciate your prayers& kind thoughts!!!

Blessings to you--Kids always need prayers, keep us on our knees, adding a marriage is quite the voyage! My daughter will be very touched! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Ahh, am disappointed your wife couldn't make it to this round of the MC apt--
<img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />
Happy your heart was in the right space, place with God grace!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

He's doing a wonderful work in you!!! He unbreaks our hearts little at a time.

Takes time for painful emotions to settle down to collect one's self! Sounds though your wife's heart is softening too, very good.... may His Hope join you both together in the next round!

Praying for all of you-a big hedge of protection, of His love, mercy & grace surround you& entire family!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Smiles---Have an excellent grace filled day! He Delights & Loves you very much!!!

Check it out at Zephaniah, 3:17--It's true!!!
Stay strong!
<img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

a warm greeting to you,

I just read Zephaniah, and the timing was actually perfect! my day today was of the flesh, so often found myself with self pity, and sad. I picked up my 13 year old son this eve, sharing my day with him,, I get signed on here, to find a message to read Zephaniah,, it was perfect timing. I've heard from you about God's message,, today apparently God had another message, and He went thru you, again. thank you, thank God. :-) My spirits were lifted.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> you are most, most, most kind, </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I'm wondering, are you maybe contagious? kind comes back to & from kindness.

You mentioned about "winded from fresh dv wounds." i'm sure to your onner core, this had to be rough,? at times. Being so happy for your daughter, and at the same time, your personal wounds are surfaced.

(sharing my opinion) our childrens weddings are to be that of nothing but special,, representing not only God, but a family. That family that God did create.,,, This is a time when both parents should be involved, (IMO, not with any OW, or OM)

When my son turned 3, w took him & other children out to celebrate his B-day, days later the children mentioned this to me. I was actually bothered. One question i asked W was, what does a B-day represent? ,,, including a mom, and a dad, along with the family,,.

Maybe this leaves me selfish as i was accused,, i just know i'm that of a "family" man, a dad, along with a husband,,??

With your daughter taking her stand,, i'd be soo danged proud!! and yet at the same time, even sad for her. Sad for her even having to be put into that position, from her own dad, as he sought his own selfish wants/needs. I'm hoping it's ok,, but will you please give her a huge, heart warm filled hug,, yeppers, one from me even.

Our paths will never cross here on earth, but when we meet up yonder, she'll think, hey,. thats that guy from U.S. in Mich. lol :-)


</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> My daughter blocked out her dad, ow and his large entire family clan. Big step for her taking a stand, against all their mean spirits, and focusing on rebuilding a life with people who care about her. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">One thing that came to mind while reading this,, was those who say, (as if trying to convince their ownself) that the children will be better off, just think about it (children), you'll now have two of everything. Meaning B-days, Christmas's, Easter,,,, i'm glad she decides to fill herself with the more positive people. As i'm sure this was a difficult decision for her.

I now Jesus died for our sins, and God will/does forgive us, and so often i hear from the WS how it was what God wanted them to do, and they know they will be forgiven. (God does say, many will be fooled)

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> On the sort of sad side, for our family,today would have been my x ours 24 yr ann. A little odd- Today is little weepy sensitive day for me but am very happy for my daughter, my son in law& his parents for loving one another & hanging on...
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">This has to be difficult, as we now learn about the new meaning, and feelings associated with our new founded ann. and we are still happy for those, who have stuck it out, rode those storms, and still made, or allowed those rainbows.

Thanksgiving is upon us, soon it will be the season to be Jolly, fa la la, la la la (sorry, just a little singing there) anyhow, i now learn to celebrate these times, w/o the W, and w/o the family as a whole. As this year marks the second ann. ??????????


AA few days ago, Vee and I visited the Make A Wish site. I explained to Vee what it was about.
Her wish used to be going to Disney World in Florida. Shortly after W left, her wish, and prayers changed to that of her mom coming home.

Now her prayers and wishes have been about getting an apartment, or even our old home, so that we can move back to Allegan. I discussed with Vee this type of wish was more than likely to big,, several minutes later, she shared her wish about going to Florida to swim with the dolphins, and maybe visit the ocean on a big boat,, or a shopping spree at Toys R us.

I wasn't sure what to say, so i explained a little about Vee, then added her wish about the apartment/house, and why she wished that, then i added her wish about the shopping spree.

I was reading your reply about the housing habitat in Kalamazoo, then thinking how Vee mentioned her wish about a house, to the Wish Foundation,, then you mention about this Housing Habitat,, i'm wondering now if maybe i second guessed God?? Do you understand?

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> I thankyou for feeling comfortable in sharing as I imagine it would have been difficult.
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">yeppers, it was somewhat difficult, i was close to just saying thank you anyhow, eventually the comfort settled in. "Thank You." I have to say this again,, your husband lost a lot, and he lost one heck of a caring, most wonderful lady.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> Wanted to share with you, that God put on my heart </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Yeppers, God did put on the compassion, the warmth, caring, consideration, and love,,, on your heart. Tell me God isn't using you!?

Your words just echoed through my thoughts again, about writing a book. Maybe i had better begin considering this. top thinking of my low self esteem, and maybe learn to listen, to you, and God.

A few months ago I had a dream about Jesus and three disciples visiting me, can't remember all about this dream anymore. I sent it in to a church, or pastor?? seeking an understanding. I even asked my current pastor about this dream, the reply came back that this dream was interpted as, something to do about writing/teaching,,????
and that i needed to continue praying for the answer. I also asked a third person, my sons bible study mentor. All 3 pretty much had the same interpatation.

Skydiver, you truly are remarkable.
A special warm hug to you. (hoping thats ok)

Stever


The LORD thy God in the midst of thee is mighty; he will save, he will rejoice over thee with joy; he will rest in his love, he will joy over thee with singing.