About 2 1/2 weeks ago my wife and kids left me. I am currently in the military. We have been married for 10 years. In those ten our marriage in my eyes was OK, but I have been a jerk. I never cheated on her or abused her. I was just immature and spent our money unwisely. I didn't put the family first. After a while of this my wife got tired of it. She warned me, but I didn't listen. Before she left she told me she was hurt and don't love me as she should love her husband, she had alot of anger. She left to her sister house and wants to get a job and a apartment. By the way we are both Christian and attend church regularly. I now realize what I have done wrong, and I want her back so bad. I have been devoted in changing my ways and have done alot of thinking. I wrote her letters, but feel that I am smothering her and pushing her back even further. I don't want that. I am hurt really bad. What can I do or say to her to make her come back. I already told her that was truely sorry for my actions. I Love her with all my heart. I just need some encouragement and advise thanks. Brent

Brent -

If you are sure there is no one else.....then I have an idea.

This might be hard but, go out and buy your wife another engagement ring. Bigger and better than the one you got her over ten years ago. Go to her (take leave if you have to) and propose to her telling her that you want a new marriage, not a new wife.

Welcome to Marriage Builders. Read all you can, learn and adapt what you learn towards making your marriage better.

Gib

PS - the General Questions II board is more active than this one

Gib,

Thanks for the reply and caring. No there is no other person. That idea sound great, but let me explain. She is staying with her sister, and currently she is looking for a job. She told me that if she can't find one then she and the kids are coming back, but if she finds one then she will stay. Also she is waiting for the military to assign her to a army installation. We are both military, I'm active duty and she is in the active guard reserves. I am currently going to Korea in November for 1 year. Then I will be going to Colorado. We can both be assign to the same place, but I don't know if she wants that. We talked about it and agreed to try to meet in Colorado later in the future. Long ago she gave up her military career for me. She got out for me, and now recently got back in. She said she has been sacrificing and giving in for me through the years it always been my way. She left to have time to think and do what she wanted to do a long time ago. I know this sounds like it messed up situation. I just want to start over. Also she can stay here (Georgia) if she wants to for free. They spent 3 years here. I can take leave, but I can't afford a nice solitare ring. Something that she always wanted. And that brings up another thing, I bought her a cheap engagement ring, because I couldn't afford it. I wish I could do things over!! I just don't want to push her back further. She lost the love for me. Well that all. thanks for your help. Brent

Brent,

If she is mad right now, take a pause and don't force the issue. I don't think she is a Christian. 67% of marriage end in divorce and mostlikely its the woman who filed a divorce. Send her a sorry note. E-mail me I have an apology letter for you!
If you made a mistake, its ok. Pray and only God can change that.

If you feel that you have been kind of a jerk for ten years, chances are likely that it could take awhile. Besides, if she came back right now, it may be easy to fall back into old habits. Continue to be kind and considerate and make no demands. Time is on your side if you really love your wife.