Hello, everyone. Thought I'd introduce myself here. I've been reading/posting mostly on the GQII threads for about a month. WH's A started about a year ago and although no PA possibly since D-day, I'm sure in their minds it never officially ended, it was just put on hold while WH made it look like he might try to work on the M. I now realize he never had any intention of saving this M, he was just procrastinating. Now WH is moving out (today). Initially I wanted to do anything and everything to save the M. Told WH that as long as NC with OW, he could stay in our house whether he was working on the M or not. But he couldn't keep to that agreement. In the last week or so I've had a revelation and realize that this M is not restorable. WH is an incredibly selfish man and a VERY good liar. And unfortunately, I was always guilty of giving him the benefit of the doubt because I couldn't PROVE otherwise. I looked back on our marriage (hindsight being 20/20) and realized I just can't do it anymore. I can never believe anything he says. I can't ever trust him. I now realize the M is over. I'm okay with it now. We told our kids last night. Of course, they were upset. Youngest one cried and hugged daddy throughout the whole conversation. I realize it's going to be a long, tough road. We're going to have to sell our house. Kinda mentioned the idea to oldest DD last night and she initially was VERY upset about the idea of selling the house. But after we talked about it a while, she seemed okay with the idea. It will probably be about 6 months before we try to sell it, though. I feel like we're throwing away 15 years of hard work to get where we are today only to start all over again.

SufferingW,

I am sorry that you are having to join this 'club', but at the same time, am glad that you are at peace with your decision. I hope that you will find the support and care that I have found with this particular group.

You said something I can completely relate to:
</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> I was always guilty of giving him the benefit of the doubt because I couldn't PROVE otherwise. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">My H had numerous EA's during our relationship....but since I couldn't PROVE anything (and didn't at the time know what an EA was), I felt I had to give him the benefit of the doubt. Had I not had my own A, and found MB as a result, I might never have been able to identify an EA for what it was - and instead, might have gone on for XX amount of years questioning my own feelings. Now I know that there are different types of A's, and that there is hurt and pain involved in each type.

I hope that through the process you will remain strong, and at peace - as that will help your children tremendously. I will pray for you, and wish you all the best.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> I hope that through the process you will remain strong, and at peace - as that will help your children tremendously. I will pray for you, and wish you all the best.
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Thanks. I pray every day for strength and courage to get myself and my girls through this. And God is coming through for me! It's incredibly difficult, don't get me wrong. Hardest decision I ever had to make. WH certainly helped me make it, though, by having the A and not following through with NC. He helped me finally see him for what he really is and realize that I can't live like that anymore.