Short update: husband got fired, again. showed up from NY (where we were going to live together as family if job worked out) to "help fix up house to put on market" and get divorce process underway (we're going the mediation route).

To start, he wasn't particularly nasty, but not friendly either. Proposed a 75-25 split on house (in my favor). I said we needed to go over recouping my initial investments in house and his business (all with money I had before I met him) and loans from my parents (which he never paid back) before we discussed split. Also, he has thousands of $$$ wrapped up in tools that need to be liquidated. He blew up, got really hostile, started making threats, and stomped out.

Last night's first meeting with mediator went fairly well. Mediator said process based on total honesty. All agreed. This morning, I check the garage and notice many of his tools, equipment, missing. Go to friend's house where husband is staying and, voila, there is missing stuff. Husband is furious, trys to throw me out, says not to contact him, that I was going up to his Mom's with this stuff anyway so I would have known about it (not true; he said last night he was going today by himself). I had asked him two days ago what he had removed while I was at school and he said his mother's vacuum cleaner. That was all.

He's lied about affairs. Lied about assets. Lied about everything. And threatens to leave me in house with no support if I challenge him.

I don't know whether to call police or real lawyer or just hope he drops dead and I can dance on his grave in a red dress.

I need advice quick. Anyone else have this experiece? What are repercussions of challenging a total sociopath?

Why do liars always get so agressive when they get caught? Then act like you are the wrong-doer.

Any clues.

Need help. Please. Falling apart here.

Marital property is marital property, either of you have the right to take it. This advice came from the police.
I would take photos of the removed items for your files and to document all that you had. He may later claim it was worth nothing because of the shape of it.
Fighting over dollars can get ugly in a D, and can lead to fights over custody/parenting time
Be prepared. It will likely not go easy, and you may find mediation won't work.
Have you filed yet? This is one way to protect yourself. Also, if he is living elsewhere, have his lawyer draft a statement that he won't live in the house so you can feel safe there - and prevent him from removing more items.

Time to get a lawyer if you haven't already. This doesn't necessarily mean mediation won't work, but it's a problem.

Fooledagain,

I don't know why these men do this, but my H has done the same thing and I have had to go the legal route with him. He has threatened and I was afraid that if he ever got into the house he would do something drastic.

Why is it they fly off the handle when they are the ones that did wrong in the first place? Why is it always someone elses fault?

Why don't they just go ahead and lye in the bed that they made for themselves and leave us alone. Especially if they are like my H and will continue to lie, lie, lie!!!

Oh, back to the point, you need to go the legal route and try to make sure that he can't take anything else out of the house. Threatening you is a good place to start with this. Mediation is not likely to work in your case, but good luck to you anyway and know that you are not alone I am living it as we speak, but moving through it.


JT

<small>[ November 12, 2004, 11:40 AM: Message edited by: JT2 ]</small>