My WH currently lives with his sister. He moved out about a month ago saying he needed to clear his head, work on his book and make his commute a little easier. I knew also he was going there to pursue his EA even more. He calls OW 3-4 hours a night. After going to see the OW who lives over 10 hours away about 2 weeks ago. He seems to be set on wanting a divorce.

Even though he told his sister he went down to end things. Even called me on the way home and said he would be moving back home soon , may go to MC again and would be doing NC with OW. Well that lasted one day. Then it was back to he didn't want to be married to me anymore and wasn't sure if he would be moving back home.

He comes home on the weekends mainly to visit with our kids. Last weekend he went out in his car and called OW for almost 2 hours. When he came back inside I told him I would not accept that. That I deserved respect. I told him that I did not want him to call me and that he would not be able to come home anymore as long as he was going to continue doing this stuff.

He seemed almost happy about it. I guess finally getting the freedom he wanted. I think he has been trying to hurt me just for me to give up on him. Well I didn't talk to him all week. He called 2 times to talk to the boys for about five minutes. Yesterday he called my work and asked what I was doing for lunch. I said nothing he asked if I wanted to go with him. I also had my three year old with me. Throughout the whole lunch he sat there distant, cold and jaw clenched. I wonder why he even asked me. I was positive and didn't bring up OW, R or any subject to really argue about. When it was time to leave my three year old cried and cried. It broke my heart. He held on to my husbands shirt begging him to come home. I could tell it really bothered my husband I know it sure bothered me. I had tears in my eyes.

All week I have been distancing myself. Giving him space to think and stuff. Also getting ready to go to plan B. Well I thought of something today that would make our lives so much easier. I was thinking about selling our home. We would make a 90k profit. Then pay all the bills off, save 10k for him to go take art classes, move and buy a home closer to his job and also use the rest of the money for a downpayment for a new home. I emailed him my idea. I was just throwing stuff out there. Well he called the boys and I broke down and asked him what he thought. He said in one of the most uncaring voices what part of I don't want to be married to you don't you understand. Then said I hate to be so blunt but you really don't get it. That hurt so much I just hung up.

Maybe he felt pushed by my suggestion. I guess the way I saw it was me figuring out a way to take alot of stress off him plus follow one of his dreams. Now I feel like maybe I should just give up. Maybe I should just give him his divorce. He has not filed or anything but it seems like he has no love or me anymore. He is just so into this OW right now. I am 9 months pregnant due anytime. I feel so heartbroken. I just don't know what to do anymore. Maybe I should just give up on him. <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" /> <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" /> <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" /> <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" />

Hi,

Don't take his comment after your suggestion of future plans together seriously. Just fog speaking. I think that was just too much for him to swallow. Him and OW will probably not last. After all there is the distance problem. You are having his baby, and he is being that much of a jerk to you. So sorry. I know you are hurting and I feel bad he is not there for you. Hopefully he will wake up. Let him do all the chasing if there is any to be done. Don't call him, let him call you. Do things for you, as if he is not a part of your life. Try and detach emotionally from him. I know this is hard. Maybe your husband will wake up before it is too late.

I don't call him anymore really. Unless it's about the kids or they call him. My three year old tried to call him this morning but he would not click over to him because he is talking with OW. I am so tired of him breaking his heart. My three year old cried wanting to know why he couldn't talk to daddy. How can he allow this woman to come before his kids?

I just don't understand any of this. How can a man just ignore is 9 month pregnant wife? Not even call to check to see if she is ok. This was a man that was so caring, loving, treated me like a princess and loved his kids. Now he turned into someone that only cares about himself and what makes him happy. And also the OW. Just can't see how he can put her needs and wants above ours. What makes a person change so drastically?

bump

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> All week I have been distancing myself. Giving him space to think and stuff. Also getting ready to go to plan B </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Don't just get ready to go to plan B. Start now!

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> He comes home on the weekends mainly to visit with our kids. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Not any more. There is no reason for him to come and visit the family he doesn't want to be a part of. If he wants to spend time with his children, it should be on a visitation schedule. Let him bring them with him for the weekend!

After all, I'm sure you can use a break at times.

Let him see what the life he chose is going to be like. Don't let him have the convenience of both lives. A weekend family and free to do as he wishes the rest of the time.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I don't call him anymore really. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">This is good. Don't call him, don't e-mail him don't write to him! When the kids call him or he calls them, don't even get on the phone. It is for him and your kids, you don't need to talk to him. If he asks to talk to you, you're too busy!


</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> Well I thought of something today that would make our lives so much easier. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Tommorrow, think of something that will make YOUR life easier. Like it would be easier for you if he picked up the kids for the weekend!

Plan for yourself. Make yourself happy. Just like Genia said, Do things for you, as if he is not a part of your life.

You have yourself and your baby to be concerned with right now. This is going to be one of the best times of your life. You only need to concentrate on that!

Best wishes to you

WIWH