My wife and I have been seperated for 4 months. During this time, I have been applying the strategies for saving our marriage, and they seem to be working. I stopped talking, whining, complaining, and trying to change the way my wife was thinking. I stopped contacting her altogether. After 2 weeks of absolutley ZERO contact with her, she sends me an email asking if she can see my daughter whom she helped raise for 7 years. This is a full month after we stopped counseling (I'm convinced the counselor ruined our marriage. He made things worse). Ever since then, I've refrained from contacting her and every 3 or 4 days she comes up with some reason to call or email me. Always with a question. Usually asking if she can come and pick up something. I am always instantly will to help and make myself available anytime she wants to come over. She's done this a lot, but never comes over. Ok, so it seems to be working somewhat. We're in contact, and the contact is good. We laughed and joked and smiled and made constant eye contact at the initial divorce hearing (mediation). The contact comes more frequently now, and she's very eager to come over and divide up property. Even though I insist she's welcome to come into the house and take anything she wants (I have the cash to replace any of it) without me present, she wants me there. All the other times she asked to come over and pick up something, she never follows through... This time she's going to be there.
Now, yesterday when we made these plans she was dropping my daughter off from church. She came inside, we talked a lot, she told me how nice I looked, and I returned the compliment. We made plans for her to come over tonight. I asked if she would like something to eat for dinner, or if she wanted me to surprise her. She smiles broadly and laughed. It was a good laugh from the sound, but I didn't get the joke...
So, tonight, we are going to be in the house we built together from the ground up. Alone. and in what appears to be good spirits. And I am more nervous then teenager at his first dance! I'm at a complete loss for words or what to do or how to behave. I have not doubt we could save our life together, and the time apart has done us both good. Her signals have been good, but subtle, and I'm afraid I could screw this up beyond repair tonight. I'm not sure why she insist I be there, or what he rmotives might be.
I need help... Advice, whatever. I'm already so nervous my stomach is doing flip flops, and my heart is fluttering.....
Thanks for reading,
James
