My STBX had previously moved out of state but returned home for a long weekend for business and to meet with some real estate professionals.

I had no intention of seeing her over the weekend and she passed along a meeting time of 1:30PM on Saturday with the real estate person...and asked if I wanted to go or not, I said I would think about it.

I had to return to the home to return some financial docs to her. I had not seen her in 3 months. She was a little dressed up and had makeup on. After the meeting the classic question was again mentioned by her (I have heard this question about 10 times over 4 months):

"Is there anything else we need to talk about?"

I quickly responded with some discussion of the home and went to get some paperwork for her...I returned a few minutes later to find her in tears...I leave the paperwork and walk out the front door not saying a word. Great, maybe she finally realizes what a mess this is...it was great to see those tears as she has no concept of what she did to our M.

She then leaves a message yesterday explaining she took some paperwork and will return it via Fed Ex, she is travelling, yadda yadda and proceeds to mention where she is going and if I need anything to call her after 5PM, she will have her cell on and hope I had a good weekend. A little background, I never call her at all, she routinely calls me every week to discuss some biz with our home which is for sale and might mention a few personal things here or there...but I never contact her.

I return home Sunday evening and go on-line to find she has registered with 2 dating websites as she left the history intact. I read her bio and description as I am cracking up! Mentions all sorts of crap about her and what she is looking for, unbelievable. There are a few pics of her, which were originally taken with me next to her..and naturally I am cropped out of the pics.

So, I guess things are not quite rosy out there after all. This was after hearing her exclaim her new job and Life is so good from a few friends...well, I guess it can be lonely too as evidenced by the fact that I am gone and she is now trying to meet people thru these internet sites.

Anyway, just thought I'd share for a few minutes, thanks for reading.

Nature,

I know the title of your post is ironic and I feel for you. I go through the same scenario except don't return phone calls and erase any voice mail messages before they can be heard.

The light hearted nature of your banter belies the pain you are going through.

Best of luck. Stay on the hard path and hopefully it will bring the rewards you deserve.

Cym-thanks, but I am really laughing and done with this zany rollercoaster M knowing I kept my dignity and held my head high.

It really is funny to see this girl who was so high and on top of the world reduced to online dating....and showing tears to me.

Booo hooo, poor, poor WS!

They all get what they deserve...you make your bed and you lie in it....one word sums this up:

CONSEQUENCES. It's time to pay the piper....and I am going after every penny!!

Thanks!

HEYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!

I just read your history. Does your wife have a sister living in my house in California? Or maybe a clone?????????????? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Nope, no sister....it's uncanny how many of our stories are similar across the MB board.

Extremely selfish, immature and insecure people do not seem able to reach out to their spouse to communicate their needs....so instead, they go outside of the M thinking this will somehow solve the problem? I really do not how people can do this and live with themselves. But we are all wired differently and operate on different levels.

Anyway, thanks for your comments...like everything, one day at a time.

Nature

Nature,

Selfish, immature ,insecure......if those three words don't sum up my WW's personality!!!. The real kicker is that even though you have been putting up with their cr*p for years , they go have an A and then expect YOU to be the one to make up to them. I also think that once the realization that it (M) is over hits them , that is when they truly panic and try to repair the unrepairable.

Too little , too late.

I mean, if ever had done anything outside of our M, I would be the first one asking for forgiveness..and confessing...because I know I couldn't walk around the house, make dinner, sleep together, travel, etc. and still be the same person...but this is what happens when you live dishonestly and learn oh so well how to LIE, LIE and tell more LIES to cover up your behaviour.

Thank God I am getting out of this.

Now, I am not sure in my case if there really is any remorse or second thoughts, this past weekends antics could be just her way of trying to me to feel sorry for her...but you may be right, who knows.

I have heard her say that plain question so many times and I never respond with a yes, always a know, it may be her way of trying to see if I am still there for her to feed her BIG HEAD.

Good luck BTW

Nature

Nature,

When all this happened to me, my best friend was desparately trying to reason with me, to get me out of my agony. He said pretty much what you just have

" Cymanca, you know if you had done something like this you would have crawled through broken glass to make this up to her. You would have jumped into a car and driven across country non stop, just to tell her how sorry you were. But don't expect that to happen with her. She has never had that sense of giving, all she has ever done is take from you. Your needs were never precedent, they were always secondary to her insatiable appetite called entitlement."

He was right, I just never could look at our relationship that clearly. I was so used to giving it was not just second nature, but first nature for me. I cringe when I think of what I was so willing to take in the name of our M.

" Cymanca, you know if you had done something like this you would have crawled through broken glass to make this up to her. You would have jumped into a car and driven across country non stop, just to tell her how sorry you were. But don't expect that to happen with her. She has never had that sense of giving, all she has ever done is take from you. Your needs were never precedent, they were always secondary to her insatiable appetite called entitlement."

There u go, hitting it on the head...we are givers and not takers....I finally gave so much I wanted a little in return this past spring and she felt all I wanted was SEX and felt I did not respect her....of course I told her I want to please her...since this was the only thing she told me was not adequate given the EN questionnaire which she never filled out.

Now, its classic to see some tears from her...and know she has joined a few online dating services...I guess things aren't quite as rosy as she led on. Of course not, I know I am a good guy, as a matter of fact, even great!

Anyway, I appreciate your comments as always.

Nature

Nature,

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">she told me was not adequate given the EN questionnaire which she never filled out.
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">You bring up a point. My WW did fill out a MB questionaire and complained because she said her most important EN was SECURITY, and it wasn't on it.

I don't know if you are familiar with my background but I never spent any time away from my wife except work and 1 four day fishing trip each year. I consider myself fairly religious. I did not go out with the boys. Ever. We did pretty much what she wanted to do and quite honestly that did not bother me that much. On a material sense I am a doctor with a very succesful practice. God has been very good to me. We own two homes, cars , jewelry, vacation trips, clothing, etc....

The OM is a waiter/cabin boy on a cruise line that she had met 4 days previous to her A on board. She admits that he has done this before with other women and was probably engaged in other relationships while I write this.

When I asked her if that fit her definition of security, she never answered. Still hasn't.

Go figure that one out, I will pay you a 1 million dollars if you ever do. Her "Security" response was probably her way of avoiding what really were the issues because she was so insecure to discuss them with you. Who knows? You can analyze the past to death and get nowhere.

No, I have not had the time to read up on your story and do not know your background.

Congrats on your practice success. My sitch is kinda reversed as my WS was the one making more $ than me, but I was managing it and more of a "saver" type of person and she wanted to spend it. This apparently caused alot of resentment on her part as she always wanted more jewelry, trips, etc. I'd buy a ring and it wasn't good enough or large enough. Crap, be happy I tried to buy a ring! Women today tell me at least I tried, most guys would just have left her then. It never was enough whatever I did to try and please her.

I really think these women believe the whole infatuation type of feeling is what is missing in their M....like, they never grew out of the honeymoon phase. IMHO this cycle will be repeated in every R they have, constantly thinking they don't "feel" in love and there is something better out there.

I know for sure I learned quite a bit about myself from this experience and I will take that with me. I really believe my WS has learned absolutely nothing. And, probably the same goes for yours.

Nature