Hi. New here. Let me please briefly tell you my story. Sorry, I am not familiar with all the abbreviations yet. Please let me know if they are available somewhere.
I have been married for 10 years. Never has our relationship been equal. Knowing that, I knew it would never work. My H is 5 years younger than me, very attractive. When we met I had my own house from another divorce. It seems (it was) that I was responsible for all bills during the marriage because it was my house and credit.
I feel (I know) he took advantage of this situation. Almost like, you want me bad enough - you have to pay for me !!
Granted it was not always bad. But once the basic framework of the relationship is set, it is set. And that was me paying for practically everything. Which, of course, made me angry.
I go to work, he stays home. Oh he made some attempts at work here and there. But basically it was my responsibility to pay because everything has been in my name.
Well, after awhile, him staying home all day drinking and having all this freetime and me going to work to pay for all of this gets old !!
Move up a few years - I have sent him to school just recently. Now he has come home with a new attitude. And, he doesn't like my old attitude.
I also feel very strongly that he has recently cheated on me. Never did I think this before. It just all adds up.
I have come here for advice and friendship. If you have not been through something like this, as my friends in RL have not, it is hard to understand.
So, here is where I am -
H very attractive and aware of it. Me, feeling used and taken advantage of. Me, sending him to school for our future. H, getting a new attitude from going to school and being able to get a good job and separate. Me, enjoying the peace and quiet when he is gone to school but not wanting it full time !!
Well, that is a brief rundown of what is going on. Thanks for listening and hopefully I will get some advice.

Texmess, First I'd like to welcome you. Though I'm sorry you ended up here, there's a lot of good support. Hopefully someone will come in with the links to the abbreviations and such.

Though all of our circumstances are different, all of us here are hurting from divorce, threatened, impending, or completed.

My STBXH (that is, Soon, or at least Someday, to be eX-Husband) started drinking after about 9 years of sobriety and then hanging out with kids less than 1/2 his age. He's now living with one of them. At the same time, he became horribly verbally abusive to me. I can understand what you mean when you say, "enjoying the peace and quiet when he is gone... but not wanting it full time."

I am also the one "paying for practically everything," even now after being separated for almost 4 years (we own a business together, which I've learned to run alone, but it provides him money as well) and he seems to want to keep it this way for as long as he can.

My best advice is to do what you can to take care of yourself, including getting support.

Hi. Thanks for the reply. Sorry I am so late in replying back, but I have been out of town because of my job.
One of my son's is getting married soon and this has added more stress to this situation. I am afraid that my H is going to be bringing the woman I am suspecting him of cheating with me to one of the wedding parties. As weird as that is, I don't want to explain all that right now.
Please give me some adivce about this mess.

Thanks again for replying.

Tex