I have a question that I have wanted to ask all of the spouses who have divorced the ws because of the their contiuned disrepect of the vows.

I do know why you cry and are in pained and that it will take along while for you to come from that dark place of pain.

But this is who you ex is today and this is who he has been for a while now. Please take an unbias look at your past with him. Maybe he did turn over night or it had been so gradual that it went unoticed, but this is now and this is who he.

Ok now what I want to say to all of you leftbehinds is !!!HELLO!!! Your ex spouse is not going to turn back into that person you remembered with the ow/om right now while they are riding the high of a new partner yeah they are going to be on their best behavior with said new partner, because they just left a long term or semi long term relatioship, so what fool they will look if they dump the other m/w within the yr. All those lies that were said to validate them all the lies that spread and all those wonderful things that were spouted about the ow/m what would their adoring aduidence think then if they were played or better yet played the fool themselves.

Ok heres something you should think about.

Do you know that 99% of lottery winners are broke within 2 yrs? Want to know why because they do not change their core personality or pattern of how they act or handle money. All of you have grown though your pain and learned something from thisin other words your pain has taken you to another level, where as your es's have only moved lateral which is not growing but just moving your pain (baggage) to another location.


P.s. sidenote on lotteries since this money was not made it's easy to spend with out thinking of the cost of items being bought.
Oprha had a woman who made her millions herself and still cut out coupons for shopping. Because she valued the hard work that went into making her$$.

But this is who you ex is today and this is who he has been for a while now

Mentally..logically, I am totally in agreement with that statement. It's my heart that has problems accepting it and letting go.

they are going to be on their best behavior with said new partner, because they just left a long term or semi long term relatioship, so what fool they will look if they dump the other m/w within the yr

Pride. Yep, I think pride is a big part of my XH's issues. Even though he doesn't look happy, our daughter doesn't think he's happy, and he avoids all his friends and family, he's going to stay with her right now because if he didn't, he's afraid of the "I told you so." NO ONE is going to tell him anything!! So he's miserable quite frequently, I believe, but he stays with OW.

your es's have only moved lateral which is not growing but just moving your pain (baggage) to another location.

Sort of like my theory about XH taking the chaos with him. He complained about not being happy and about our house being chaotic. Seems that's what he's experiencing now, with OW, her 2-yr-old, and now some upstairs apartment neighbor currently flopping at their place because she broke up with her abusive boyfriend??!?

I, on the other hand, while lonely, am also a lot more calm than I was when he was living at home.

He took the chaos with him. His happiness (or lack thereof) is internal. He's the one who needs to fix it. I don't think external things will ever make him happy. He just tries to substitute "things" for happiness and peace.

LL