I've been on this forum for almost a year. I have posted only a few times, but I have not stopped reading others' messages.

Tonight is one of the those nights that I really need to vent out. My wife had filed several months ago and I was served. And I thought my life was starting to get back on track again. I was at peace and seem to be content with my single life. I slept, ate, and worked fine even though we were separated.

Several days ago was my birthday and my stbxw came to my place. Since I was out that night, she waited in the car for me. She called me when I got home. I agreed to go out w/ her even though it was midnight - keep in my I am still in love with her. We spent the night together and a couple of more nights together during the long Thanksgiving holiday. It appeared that she wanted to give our marriage another try, and I agreed. We agreed to take things slowly. I was relief that she wanted to be back.

Tonight I just confirmed that she had an affair while we were still together and it dragged on likely to today. I used the word confirm because I already knew something was up, but I was in denial. I know that she has been trying to end it w/ the OM. However, she still has not admitted anything to me yet. W/ her high pride, I don't think she will ever admit it. How am I certain? I'm 200% sure!

I'm extremely in pain w/ this revelation. I had confronted once when we were still together, but she denied it. I wasn't 100% sure at that time, and I accepted her excuses. But now, a lot of events that occur through the last couple of weeks started to become so clear to me. Her actions, lies, her mood swing, and her deceptions all are come so clear to me. And I can't accept and look at her the same w/ the same feelings anymore. I have to say I have no trust for her anymore.

The funny thing - all this time, even during our separation, she has accused me of cheating and all the inlaw issues that we were having were the cause for her sadness and wanting separation. And I agreed w/ her. No, I have not cheated on her.

I have made up my mind that i will not try to give it another shot. I'm tired of being shoved around. I'm really tired and I want out. I was okay with my single life. I made a big mistake by wanting to give it another try.

i will have to break the news to her.....no more....I'm done!!!

Dear Confused,

Yep, you've got to do what's right for yourself. My husband moved out, leaving a note, to move in with someone he met on the internet. We had been married 25 years. Could I try to wait him out? Yes. Is it good for me financially or emotionally to do so? No. So, I'm moving quickly with divorce.

If you had gangrene in your arm, you'd cut it off quickly....before it killed you.