Just curious....My WH has not filed although he met with the mediator so it is just a matter of time. I don't desire this divorce yet I am very skittish about the horrid behavior, the lying, the cheating, the stealing that precipitated this bump in our relationship....not sure if I could ever trust him again. I do know that if he'd be able to communicate with me better about the things he would like to see improve in our marriage and I do the same for him, we could get over this bumb. BUT he is not willing for whatever reason...probably cuz of the affair with OW he chooses to continue. I know this relationship started under stress and will most likely end this way.

I am just curious how many of you FWH's actually went forward with filing and then turned around to withdraw the divorce and work on your marriage? I am guessing not many which is why I think I have lost much of my faith in WH.

Thanks,

-K

Me: 28 yo FW
Him: 31 yo WH
Married: 3.5 years
His Affair: Started fall 03 and continues
D-Day: May 22, 2004; he immediately left and we have been separated ever since. I plan A'd until Oct, Plan B'd thru now, Plan D, Divorce, is sadly beginning.
No Kids

I am sure there are some. But you are focusing on what HE can do. Not what you can do.

You're young, no kids, and a relatively short marriage...what is sad, is that the infidelity has gone on for over a year now and almost half of your married life. Have you worked with a coach here? What have you exactly done since he has left?

If the man desires no more from the marriage, then move ahead with your life. Trust me, it's easier to start over just as you are now. Talk to a MB coach and get their perspective.

I am sure some people have turned things around, but what is more important today is that you are taking care of you...

I work in the medical field and can say that nobody is a textbook. What has happened to somebody else may not happen to your wh. Everybody has their own feelings. Period. You don't need a crystal ball and you don't need to "what if" things. You need a plan for YOUR life now. Where do you want to be? What do you want to do?

Yes, his not wanting to do anything for recovery is b/c of his affair. But this is not anything new to you. You've known about it for 7 months now. I wish you peace and wisdom right now. And also remember...you have so much of your life ahead. The only thing I wish I had done differently was begin my new life sooner.