I'm new here so here's the lowdown. I am 32 my wife is 27. We were together for 8 years married for 2. In April of this year i had a one night stand with this girl I worked with at a bar. I had a bad alcohol problem and feel this has been a major contributer to the problems in the relationship for the past 8 years. When my wife found out about this she asked me to leave and I have not been back since. I have been sober for 8 months, got a new job, bought a new car, and have a whole new outlook and perspective on the things I should have done in the mariage.
She refuses to talk to me anymore and contact has been very limited (5 phone calls in the last 4 months).She has not filed for divorce but says she will wait the required year seperation and file then. She says she wont go to marriage councilling because she says she doesn't know if she'll be able to walk away from me.

The point is this, I take full responsibility for the awefull things I have done. I will never make excuses for them or ever try to justify them. I am not a person who ever thought I would cheat and still can't believe that I did what I did. I have tried everything I could possibly try to help her and our marriage through this, she simply refuses. She listens to her friends and father and thats who makes up her mind.
Just last week after a week-end with her parents, she called and argued with me on the phone and said it was over for good and really flew off the handle at me trying to get me to argue back I refused. I told her if she wanted the divorce that she could pay for it I would do nothing since I left the house with bassically the clothes on my back and gave her everything.
Two days later after thinking about the conversation i phoned her to tell her I was sorry for how the conversation went and that I would take my responsibility for what I did in the marriage and payfor 1/2 of the divorce. She phoned me back 10 min later and said that she went to a therapist and that the therapist said that she has to let her father and friends do her thinking for her. She told me she's really screwed up and that she's not moved on and isn't ready to move on.
I hung up as she had to go to dinner with one of her students and the next few days I was out of town. When I got back in town Sunday her friend was there for 8 hours. I called her on the following Mon. and left a message to see if she would like to meet for coffee or dinner to discuss some of what the therapist said. I got no reply. I called the next day, no reply. i called the next day and asked her to please call me back before the night was over. She called me back that night at 2:00am and said that because she never called me back that I should take the hint and know that it is over. I was about a 30 second phone call. Keep in mind her friend was there Sun, mon, tues, wed, fri. For about 5 hours each night. So I am at the point of giving up completely. I simply dont know what more I can do. I've tried everything and I simply cannot compete with her friends and family. I haven't seen her in 4 1/2 months and she refuses to speak to me, so I need some advice what I should do next or better yet if there is anything left to do. I will fight until there is nothing left to fight for but don't know how longone person alone can fight for a marriage. Any advice would be helpful.
Thanks