Well, looks like DV soon. Court date is the 17th, my WW's birthday. Well, I was hoping she'd make some attempt at stopping this and working on our marriage, but its not looking so good at this point. I was hoping she'd make the first attempt at least postponing DV. I don't know if I should try to stop it at this point or not. I know I don't want a DV, but it takes 2 to be in a marriage. WW has not given any indication on wanting to salvage anything...

She's in a rough situation now. She kicked OM out about a month ago. She went on vacation with the kids and now she's struggling financially. I know one of her emotional needs was financial security and being able to go to school. She has pretty much gone down hill since she left. I was hoping she would realize how well she had it when we were together, but she either doesn't realize it or won't show that she does because of stubborness...

Question for you out there. Should I make the first step and ask her to postpone DV until we are both sure this is what we want? I think in time she may come around with OM out of the picture. I'm just not sure how she feels at this time. If I knew she had some doubts, even very small ones, I'd want to put things off a little longer. I know people say that you can remarry later if you work things out, but I don't want to have to do that. I think it would be harder to commit after going through with DV. I hope someone can give me some good insight. Yes, I know I'm terrible at making decisions and maybe that's one of the reasons WW left... Anyway, any input would be appreciated...

LWH, best of Luck...I am in the same boat...although I think I am much stronger than you....check out my latest post, sort of summarized here...and you can follow my lead if you are up to it.

I finally did a reverse this morning and threw back the question she has asked me since the day we filed...keep in mind at the time of filing the A just ended...and she was starting to talk (platonically) with another dude..she was brimming with confidence at the time, new job out of state looming, new raise, etc.

The inital question: "is there anything you want to say to me, I have the paperwork and am walking into the courthouse?" Response: no, just get me a copy.

I was firmly in Plan B---take care of me and me only for 6 months...and still am, now I am brimming with confidence and looking good.

This question then morphed over several weeks into "is there anything else you want to talk about" and then "is there anything else we need to discuss"...I must have heard this ten times...and left her in tears 3 weeks ago (I had not seen her in 3 months)...all along my response was no, let's just....blah, blah.

So, you may want to call her, maybe talk a little business, try to warm things up...and inquire along this same fashion to see if she budges or not..that way you are not sticking your head out there....I frankly do not care if she wants this or not, I know what I need to do....but maybe I cracked the door a little bit...I am supposed to call her later.

I also explained it takes 2, not one, and nothing less will work.....good luck...

Nature, I hope your situation turns out the way you want. My WW called and asked to come and work on some paperwork for DV. I guess I could have done my part on it then let my Ds take it to WW, but I thought maybe this might be a good time to see if she wanted to talk about other things. I told my Ds to tell their mom that I have Friday off and if she wants to come over to work on the paperwork, that would be a good time. I'm not sure how this will work out, but I'm hoping to at least break the ice between us... I wish you the best in your situation. I hope your WW comes around and you can either get closure on your part or possibly work on reconciliation... Keep us posted. Take care...