Just curious, what did yall do with your wedding dress and rings after divorce? I have a son and I doubt his future wife would want to wear my gown. Besides by the time he gets married it will be no where near the fashion.

Also, what did yall do with your wedding ring set? As of now, my rings are in the jewerly box. I thought about having the diamonds put into another set. But I don't wknow what to do with the band.

I was just wondering.
J

Wedding dress in the basement, rings in the jewelry box, except for the 5 year band with diamonds which I love.
I wear the five diamond ring. X bought it in hate and not in love, so I feel no connection to the marriage when I wear it. It's just a great ring.

Don't know if this is for a guy to answer... but my ring is sitting on my dresser. Where it has been sitting for the last 8 months. Prior to that it had been sitting on my kitchen counter, where I initially and ceremoniously took it off, for 3 and a half months.

I look at it everytime I enter or leave my room. It's kind of like a sore tooth that you just can't stop prodding with your tongue... a sore reminder that I can't seem to put away out of sight. I tried it on a couple of weeks ago... it didn't even feel right, like it wasn't even my ring... like it wasn't even sized for my finger. For the most part though... I don't even touch it. I just dust around it. How dumb is that? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />

<small>[ December 10, 2004, 05:35 PM: Message edited by: Want My Wife Back??? ]</small>

My wedding dress is in my closet, but I'm thinking of getting rid of it. I was really thin when I got married--my own daughter who is only about 120lb at 5'8" would be far too big to get into it. I never had it boxed properly, so it's not completely white. And I was married in the mid-80's, so it's one of those frilly, layers-of-lace dresses. Nothing that is in style now. So I'm thinking it's going to go in Goodwill's donation box or something.

The ring has been on my ring holder in a dresser drawer for a year now. I took it off last December and put it there. It doesn't even want to go over my finger anymore the couple times I've taken it out and tried it on. I've thought about having it reset into a necklace but am not in any kind of hurry.

Even though I know XH and I are DV, I know he's not happy with OW and I keep thinking maybe I'm supposed to just wait on all this because I might need the ring again someday. Of course I wouldn't even consider taking him back unless he got help for his substance abuse, and even though he's not happy with her, he hasn't shown that he is in any way remorseful for what he did. He's just simply not happy in his current situation, just like he apparently wasn't happy with me. So it's a rather silly reason to hold onto a ring, but then again, what's the hurry to get rid of it?

LL

Wedding dress hanging in the guest closet. never got it boxed properly either <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> , and now just too much of a trigger to worry about putting it away. Sometime (perhaps after the holidays), I will face that demon, and move 'through' the pain.....and I will either box it up or throw it away. It is merely a reminder of a time which never continued. But for the moment, just having it "away" is enough for me.

Wedding ring, I gave back to STBXH, with the exception of the center diamond (which was a family heirloom from my side). I did not want the rest of the diamonds, platinum, or gold. Mainly b/c even if I had it made into another piece of jewelry, I would always in my heart know what they used to represent. I told STBXH he could make it into something for his mother or sister instead. Have no idea what he's done with it since.

I think it's really just a personal decision - and you do what feels right to you. Personally, I am glad I don't have to look at the ring anymore. It was just too painful a reminder, and I feel more 'free' without it. But that's just my personal reaction. Find peace however you need to. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Embarrassed]" src="images/icons/blush.gif" /> Good luck

<small>[ December 11, 2004, 05:51 AM: Message edited by: L.I.T ]</small>

WMWB:

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> For the most part though... I don't even touch it. I just dust around it. How dumb is that?
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Sorry, you made me laugh <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> . Here I am thinking 'well, at least he's dusting.....' One (or two) steps ahead of me! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

Not to make light of your situation - and it is not dumb at all. Just reminded me that I need to dust and it's one of my least favorite things to do. I would just end up using the ring as an excuse not to dust! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />

Hi r&j,

I had my wedding gown professionally dry cleaned and boxed many years ago and I have it stored in my cedar closet.I really loved my gown and it was very expensive so there is no way I am giving it away.If one of my daughters wants to use it one day,then that would be great.Otherwise,I am still going to keep it.It's sentimental to me.

As for my rings,I actually posted a Q like this too on the GQII board one day but never got any replys. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" /> So,I basically decided to keep all my rings.I still wear my wedding band,it is also very sentimental to me and I'm still married.Unlike my WH who keeps his on his keychain <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" /> (which I am offended at) I will not take my wedding band off until I am officially divorced.My diamond engagement ring I keep stored away and I am thinking of putting it in a safety deposit box so when my girls are older,I will let one of them have it,make it into a solitaire necklace or sell it for money.My diamond eternity band I think I may still wear on my right hand.It's so beautiful I would also hate to just store it away.

For some reason,I still want to keep those things.My wedding cake top I put in the garbage disposal and our wedding video my WH has been hiding from me.I think he thinks I am going to destroy it but I actually want to keep it for my girls to watch when they are older.I don't think I could watch it again though.Too painful.

Good luck with whatever you decide.

O

<small>[ December 11, 2004, 07:10 PM: Message edited by: Octobergirl ]</small>

I took the lace off my veil and dress. Kept the lace it was a type you can't really find now. It's in a bag and I guess my daughter could use it on a dress if she wanted to.

The fabric, hmm. As I took the lace off, some of the fabric went into the trash can. Some of it got launched down the Harpeth River in a little boat made from a plastic milk carton, along with momentoes of our life together and an effigy of my x which I made from one of his old t-shirts he left behind. And some of it I threw into the fire at a sacred fire circle I attended a few years ago.

Rings, still with the rest of my jewelry. No desire to see again. Should do something with the diamonds but don't care pass them on to my children, really. After all, my daughter will only barely remember us living as a family of 5 and my son won't remember.

I gave my wedding ring back to him because it had been his mother's, and while legally mine to keep, I just couldn't do anything with it in good conscience.

My dress is still in the cleaner's box. I used my ex's mothers wedding dress to make a christening dress for my daughter; maybe I'll use mine for a grandchild someday....

I don't think keeping mementos of a marriage is bad. After all, at one point you were in love and got married, you shouldn't pretend it never happened. It's just sad that it didn't last forever like it's "supposed to".

I put my band in W's jewelry box next to hers.(Hers had been there a long time). Once she decided that it was over, I saw no reason to keep fooling myself.

Ring didn't have a lot of sentimental meaning to me. Was more of a daily reminder.

W asked a while ago if I thought we should sell them for the $$. I laughed! I was 19, just out of high school when I bought those things. I spent all I had at the time but money wise, they ain't worth much. I think her gown may have cost more.

Her 10 year diamond band that we just finished paying for is something that I would like my girls to have if she doean't want it.

I just...just last week brought my wedding ring to the jewelers to be set as a pendent...fondly called "a divorce pendent" by the sales associate. Apparently the pendant thing is quite common. My diamond was so beautiful. Emerald cut and high quality even though only .69 of a carat. Took me 4 years to do so...as it sat in my safe. I'll take the wedding band, the setting from the engagement ring and a few other peices of gold/diamond chips and have it eventually made into a one of a kind piece.
ruby

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by L.I.T:
<strong>
I would just end up using the ring as an excuse not to dust! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Well... this is probably a more accurate statement. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> I do keep the main areas of the house in good order... but the places nobody but me see (i.e.: my bedroom) tend to go awhile between much maintenance.

I wish I would have kept wearing it. We aren't divorced yet, it was like giving in to her to take it off. I am really thinking I shouldn't have done that. She is still my wife and I am still her husband... even if she refuses to admit that to herself or anyone else. The other day her and I were having the second of our twice a year decent conversations with one another and the discussion turned to business. She is in the collections business these days (although she is due to jump ship and find a different job any time by her standrds) and reffered a client of hers who is a CPA to me. She told me to tell him I was a freind of hers and he would treat me really right! I said to her "...your friend? How about I tell him I'm your husband...!?!?" She replies in a non-chalant way, as if it didn't even register to her that this would be at all offensive to me, "Oh no... don't tell him that, just tell him we are friends..." <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" /> Anyway, I don't know why I felt compelled to share that... just proof that she is clearly no longer married in her own head... and I, on the other hand, still am... so wish I hadn't taken off the ring.

Oh, a bit of poetic justice... her wedding dress had been in a bag in the basement since we moved into our house, which for those of you who don't know... we moved about 6 months before she started her A. Once in a house, our first, we did as any young family does and got the kids a little yellow lab puppy. Well, long story short... once she moved out it was just the dog and me and the kids part time. Come to find out, the dog was using her wedding dress as a litter box in the middle of the night and had completely ruined the dress. In short.. he did to the dress what she did to our marriage... p*ssed all over it! The dress was completely destroyed and had to be thrown out. I thought that was a bit ironic.

Oh... and just to curb any thoughts that I keep an unsanitary basement... the dress was tucked way back in a corner of the basement that got VERY little traffic... until it started to smell in that area. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

<small>[ December 13, 2004, 11:09 AM: Message edited by: Want My Wife Back??? ]</small>

I'm separated, not divorced but my husband took his ring off the third day he was gone and says he can't put it back on because he feels it would be a "lie." On the other hand, he says he wants to work on the marriage. On the other, OTHER hand, he's having an emotional affair with an ex girlfriend. On the other, OTHER, OTHER hand, he said if I bought him a new ring, he'd wear that.

Can anyone here spell M I X E D M E S S A G E S ?

As for my rings? I still wear them. They won't come off until or unless I am divorced. My engagement ring is a stunning 1 carat ceylon sapphire flanked by one carat of baugette diamonds in platinum and the sides of the setting are set with pave diamonds. It's so gorgeous that I would never be able to have it turned into anything else. It's one of a kind, so if we wind up divorcing, I'll put my wedding band in my jewelry box but still wear my engagement ring.

Initially, out of spite (whose nose did it cut off? mine) I tried to sell them. My engagement ring cost $7,000 and that was on sale. When I went to sell it, along with my band, there wasn't a jeweler in town who would give me more than $1,500 for them. Talk about mark-up!!!

After my first marriage ended, I gave my wedding dress and veil to goodwill. My wedding bands (another sapphire and diamonds) were sold when I was 5 months pregnant and we'd both been downsized and had to keep the roof over our heads. So I sold a $5,000 set for the cost of rent. $675. We were that desperate.

This time around, I got married in a beautiful russet colored suit made of chinese brocaded silk which was scattered with crystalline jet beads. I'm not giving it away or selling it. It cost me an arm and a leg and it's a lovely outfit for semi-formal occasions.

I have my husband's wedding band and I wear it on the middle finger of my left hand just to make him squirm.

okay. i'm bad. but that's what i do.

usk.

Im wondering the same thing.

But, I have to say that for the 3.5 years we were together (plus the before pre-marriage years) I really had a great time with my STBX (he left me) and I dont think i can part with those memories and symbols that represent that great part of my life. THere was nothing bad about our time together (accept the months of the affair) so I'll be keeping mine somewhere safe.

Its still a part of our son's heritage too and one day he might want them for something. God may even bring a restored husband back to me, although I think I'd like a new dress and ring! I put my things out of sight to ease the pain of memories and broken dreams, although I did wear my veil to a fancy dress party the other day!

Dancer

I am currently in recovery, but I have plan for divorce in April 2005. My dress is in storage, and my ring is in the safe. The ring is a hight quality 3 carat center stone worth about $75,000 and I never going to give it back to him.

I have been curious about this also. I am not divorced yet (and hope not to be) but I have been struggling with the wedding ring thing. My wedding ring symbolized our vows - forsaking all others til death do us part and on and on...
That vow was broken by him. For the first couple weeks, it sat in my jewelry box untouched. I couldn't bear to see it every day, so I put it back in it's original box and put it at the bottom of the jewelry box where I can't see it.
I don't plan to ever put it back on unless I feel that I really have my husband back, heart and soul. It symbolizes so much for me and it just breaks my heart. Someday maybe our daughter will want it if we do end up divorcing.

The divorce was in 2002. The wedding rings went in a box and were put away in my closet. I pulled them out for the first time the other night. Tried on the engagement ring. I really loved that ring. Could use it as a dinner ring, but I would only put it on my right hand. There is a jeweler in my area that will take bands, melt them down, and use the metal to make a new piece of jewelry. But I have this icky feeling about "contaminating" something new with the negativity surrounding my rings now. Wedding dress is hanging in the closet. We had no children together. I may donate it to a local bridal store that resells wedding dresses (afterall you only wear them one day) to help support a domestic violence shelter.

My ex still lives with OW and their child, but has never married her. (He's 49 and she's 24) He periodically wore his wedding band even after our divorce. He didn't want the divorce, but I didn't want to share him! He's been a real cake-eater.

I'm in the process of packing up some of the last of his stuff (tools, etc.)before I move out of state. My fantasy has been to pack up my rings and wedding dress to pass on to the OW..with a note that says something like "Oh yeah, that's right. You won't need these because he's never wanted to marry you! It's amazing how you keep on popping out babies and still can't guilt any man into marrying you. Anyway,this dress and rings were for a classy, elegant woman. That obviously leaves you out. Besides, as we both know, he cheats on his "wife", so you probably don't want to marry him anyhow. Maybe you could pass them along to my ex's son for his wife someday, since you'll have none of your own to share." I know that it would cut my ex to the core to see me casually give away my rings and dress.

Of course I'd never do this because I'd never give her anything. She already got my ex and his child. And, the dress and rings were a very wonderful part of my life at one time...but I can fantasize!!!!

<small>[ December 31, 2004, 09:16 PM: Message edited by: heartfailure ]</small>