I haven't had sex with my wife in over 2 years. She would rather play Final Fantasy online then spend her free time with me.

I am too immature to be the man she want. Nevertheless, I am also not going to see any sexual activity if I do the things she wants.

How do I know? In the beiginning of our marriage she said she ha a very low libido. In no year of our marriage did we have sex more than a handful of times.

Would you stay in a sexless marriage?

I'm no expert, but I will tell you what my 72 year old grandmother told me once before I got married,,,,HAPPY COUPLES HAVE SEX!!!!! It may sound simplistic, but it's true,,if you're not having sex, and there's no physical reason for it, then it's a symptom of something. Resentment springs to mind,,,,,nothing destroys a marriage more than resentment,,,I would seek marriage counseling before you make any decisions,,,Annie

been there too.

I don't see lack of as a reason to DV, but I do see it as a serious problem and a reason to get help.

My marriage went from a decent sex life in the beginning to sex maybe 3-4 times per year over the 19-year span. We never went 2 years w/o but did go 9 months once.

I kept asking my husband if there was a problem. He said "no, just tired..want to sleep". He, like your wife, sat glued to video games a good share of the time, though on a PS2, until the wee hours and then he flopped in bed and slept.

I quit trying after a while and just assumed this was the way he was.

HOWEVER...once he met the OW, the one he's now with, it seems they have sex all the time. He has even shared details I didn't need about their sex life. So I asked him once, "Thought you didn't need sex?" His response was that his appetite has increased.

He never mentioned lack of sex as a reason for leaving me. However, he did mention enough other things for me to agree that the reason it wasn't happening was EXTREME RESENTMENT.

He resented my (in his eyes) taking away his freedom, saddling him with kids, forcing him to quit drinking, not keeping the house clean enough for his liking, not having dinner on the table when he got home, etc...

But ne never told me any of that until he left.

Get help NOW! You have the opportunity still to have a very good marriage if you can work out your issues. Much better solution than DV!


LL--whose DV was final last month

I haven't had sex with my wife in over 2 years.
Why not? Why haven’t you initiated sex?

She would rather play Final Fantasy online then spend her free time with me.
She has played Final Fantasy for two years straight? When doe she sleep?

I am too immature to be the man she want.
Then why don’t you become more mature?

Nevertheless, I am also not going to see any sexual activity if I do the things she wants.
What is it she wants you to do?

How do I know?
Probably because you haven’t had sex in two years...

In no year of our marriage did we have sex more than a handful of times.
And what did YOU do about this? Or did you simply accept it this way without discussion?

Would you stay in a sexless marriage?
That is like saying, “would you chew if you had mouse turds in your mouth”.
Can’t answer that because I wouldn’t have mouse turds in my mouth.

I would have sex in my marriage and if it was not happening, I would do whatever I takes to make it happen BEFORE I even thought about leaving the marriage.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">
That is like saying, “would you chew if you had mouse turds in your mouth”.
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"><img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

laughed 'till tears rolled


OMG !!!

Pep

Ewww. I have a hamster...actually son does. I can see them now...and that is something I would dare not chew.


Back to the sex thing.

Quit being immature then. Work on yourself. It is the sign things aren't going very well...although my x and I did have sex and no problems at all..he just wanted it with other people too.

I say email her and tell her you want to play final fantasy with her. I don't know the game, but I would make up a very virile male character who wants to "interact" with her female character. Meanwhile, I'd work on me, get some help and grow (with help from a marriage coach) and then find out what her missing needs are. Somewhere, there has been a breakdown of communication that's led to a physical breakdown as well. When you don't communicate, you grow distant and then you just grow apart..emotionally and physically. She may feel connected to those she plays with. Or her fantasy world may be outta control with the gaming. I would seek help of a pro for this.

But you can save your marriage. Get to work.

Thanks for all the feedback.

Basically we are incompatible. I knew that when I got married, but my single life didn't have much fun in it either.

I am a high energy, physically and socially active person. My wife is a homebody. She doesn't like meeting people other than my father-in-law and her brother.

She likes to stay home. She doesn't like to sweat.

-Robert

<img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" />
Robert,
Are you & viadyer the same person?

Basically we are incompatible. I knew that when I got married, but my single life didn't have much fun in it either.
So you married some whom you knew you were not going to be happy with?
For what reason?

Do you value marriage so little that it is just “something to do”?

<small>[ December 19, 2004, 11:09 AM: Message edited by: Chris -CA123 ]</small>

Chris,

I told the other poster that he had way too much identifiable information on his posts to be putting it out on the internet. I assume that this is his newer more privacy conscious identity.

Dobie

Merrry Christmas to you DV- I read your post and your situation is very sad. God soooo understands.I am verrry, sad for your deep loss! It hurts. But you will feel better day by day. Though you are walking in the shadows. God is beside you and Love you!

I am passing along e-card greetings to brighten your day. Turn up the speakers for a moment. And just rest and breathe. Feel God love for you!
Your in safe hands here and your wounds will heal!

Blessings,

Christ Love
my love
Sky

sky diver,
Who is dv?

<small>[ December 21, 2004, 03:37 PM: Message edited by: Chris -CA123 ]</small>

Oooops Chris-my faux pas- meant for ViaDyer--late when posting! If I didn't get to you either-the card is meant for you too.! Have a very Merry Christmas!

SD