Guess I have to move out. My husband physically hurt me again, the four time since I had a baby in the middle of arguments. This was just a "little slap" as he calls it, before it was major bruising and shoving. I tried to move out a month ago, he cryed, begged said it wouldn't happen again. He's a very controlling man, constantly criticizing me, pointing out every little thing - this is wrong, that, you name it. I had a baby, moved three weeks after because my husband lost his job while I was pregnant, found out my dad had cancer and expanded my business taking no time off. I am exhausted from all of this, changed the frequency of my business, took a few weeks off finally and in the middle of all the this my husband constantly called me lazy, saying I didn't do anything. Really. A domestic counselor said I am proud of how hard I works so thats' where he trashes me knowing it hurts the worst and it's not true. I am a good mother to my little boy, now 8 months, every daycare and the doctor have said he's so happy, so ahead of other boys his age, they want to know how I've done it, and they praise me. My husband tells me what a bad mom I am, he calls the baby "my job." He didnt' help at all the first four months, wouldn't even give me an hour break, I was so tired. He finally helped a few days last week, I had to drive for six days for my business, 14 hours a day that I do every other month now. My husband told me when I came back, sick and exhausted that I'm lazy. I just can't believe this. We got in a fight, I told him to "f" off and that's when he punched me in the face. I held the baby as he cryed and my husband continued to scream and yell at me. He came into my office, smashed my keyboard, threw my office stuff across the room. I cryed yesterday, called the domestic counselors, said it's happened again. My husband went to counseling with me, lied in counseling, presented himself as such a nice guy. The counselor ignored the major issues in just a few sessions told us to fix this by going out and having a little fun, going to church, etc. Of course he made promises to go to church with me and won't. Also out to dinner, he'd never bother to do that for his wife, other then saying he would in counseling. It's Christmas time, we were supposed to go to his family, I told him NO, he's living down the hallway, has been for months. Can't be bothered by his baby crying. He shows up to work late, complains that he's about to lose another bank job, he's been fired from the last two and I've moved for him, reorganizing my business both times, making less money in the meantime. Now my business is going good, about to make 70k+ per year profit and he's off interviewing in other states without asking me ahead of time. Buying a brand new car when he admits he could lose his job, and even if I say no to it. His money is his, he doesn't share. He does cook, do laundry, and other "chores" around the house, this is how he convinces himself he's such a great husband. He doesn't want to spend time with me or the baby, was watching tv in the basement every night - came upstairs I thought to help our marriage, instead he said in counseling he was upstairs with me in the evenings because it's winter and it was getting cold down there (he's so cheap he'd rather be forced to spending time with his wife then paying a higher heating bill). It's over, it's done. I've separated from him before, moved back in, gone to various counselors, had over 15 incidents of domestic violence in our four year marriage. It's worse with a baby, as he seems to get a thrill from calling the boy "my job..." This is so insane, he wrote Christmas cards today, the day after hurting his wife, like nothing was wrong. He laughed, said I wouldn't move out because I have it too good here. I live in a huge house, and yes he does cook for me - is that having it good? Yes it'll be hard to be a single mom, my business isn't that established as I just expanded it after moving five hours away eight months ago, but it really is likely going to make 100k profit in the next few years. I don't think my husband likes that, a domestic counselor said it's a threat to him and it appears that he can't compliment me for my hard work and is actually backlashing me instead. My mom called him a "big baby" and I've watched him lately, whining over his commute, over a little snow, the town, his boss, on and on and on. Nothing pleases this man and he's mid forties. It's just insane. I'm 12 years younger then him, thought I married a man for stability, and this is what I got... I'm tired. How do I move out during the Holidays?

You just do it. You are a smart woman and know what needs to be done. When my XH hit me I found out the children did Know. Your son may be young but they know things. The tension must be huge - please for the baby get out. After my X left my young son said Mom its so nice here with Daddy gone. He as barely 2 at the time but very bright. Be smart - you need to realize you can't let this happen again and he has a history. Take care or things will get worse and who will take care of your son if you are in hospital abd he is in jail???

Get out now. Just get out. This will only go downhill.

Leave.

You need furniture, baby stuff. an apartment.

you will need your medications. If you don't have a cell phone, you will need one.

If you have no friends, hire movers.

Good luck. Let me know if you need any help.

Horsey,

Hope today is a better day- and found this lovely card song. Just thought of you in your time of great need and despair.

http://www.angelhugs.com/AreYouListenin.html

Warmest hugs,
sky

Horsey. I'm soooo sorry for you.
Facts: your husband is an ABUSER. He will NOT get better - it'll get worse! Disregard what he says about 'O i'll never do it again blase blase' he's full of crap and you know it - it's an old tactic to keep you around so he can ABUSE you more. How many stories have you read on these Boards about abusers who say the IDENTICAL thing. You are NOT his punching bag! A man should never ever hit a woman! He is to love, honor and cherish you, not beat you up. My wife was married to an abuser also - he did the same thing your current ABUSER is doing - saying all the same $hit - "Oh I'll just die if you leave me" - let me say he will NOT die. He will say anything and I do mean anything just to keep you around longer so he can punch you and abuse you more.
You are supporting him, sounds like. He's financially IRRESPONSIBLE. When are you going to save your own life and that of your precious babies and get away from this MONSTER?
JMHE,
SDLOTR

You can do it. If I can do it, you can do it.

Here's how I moved out. I rented a storage locker and started taking things with me on the way to work each day. I loaded the car after he left for work each morning. I did this for almost a month, and effectively moved everything myself except for a few large things I couldn't move alone. Those I moved the weekend he was out of town - some friends helped me and I rented a truck for a day.

FYI - you need to check around even if you don't think something will work out. When I started looking for storage places, I found a place that had a special of $1 for the first month's rent, and no minimum lease. Well, guess what? I only needed a month and a half! I ended up getting a second locker for $1 that I only used for a week. The whole cost? $2 plus prorated cost for Dec for the first locker which was $28. Then I had movers take things from the locker - the original estimate was 4 hours based on the amount of stuff, but because everything was self contained, they were able to do the whole thing in 2 hours and saved me a bundle.

Lest you think the long shot isn't worth pursuing, let me share my other "long shot". When I went to my new house last Thursday, and saw the disasterous walls after the previous owners furniture was gone, I wondered if I could possibly find a painter who could paint the following morning. So, at 7:30 PM, I stopped at a paint store and asked if they knew anyone who could paint on short notice. Well, sure enough they did. The guy came out that very night to do an estimate, and started work the following morning. Before my new bed was delivered the following day, the BR was totally repainted. I also had 3 other rooms painted at a good rate because painting work is slow this time of year. The guy was glad to have the work.

So, bottom line - no matter how far out something seems, check it out anyway because at least some of the time it pays off.

Now, you go girl - do what you need to do. People will help. Things will fall into place. You'll see. Just pray and it will happen for you.