You know how you hear things about your ex through the grapevine? Or a little birdie whispers in your ear? Well, I heard "through the grapevine" that the OW who my ex was willing to lose our marriage and family over has hit the bricks. Poor thing! He and his OW are SPLITSVILLE (get this) because he can't take her drama! haha <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

Gee, what in the WORLD did he expect?? He abandoned his own children and wife for a woman who LIES to her own husband, who has four children from different men, who also has mental health issues, and who was willing to seduce a married man!! Did he expect peace, harmony, and everlasting love? REALLY???!!

Hmmmm...

Part of me is happy (thrilled to death, really) and has a HUGE temptation to say, "I told you so!" but the other part of me is disgusted. Just downright disgusted!!!! He abused me, hurt me in ways I did not even know I could hurt, literally abandoned our children (and still does, emotionally), and all for what? For a cheap OW who left him in a year and a half!!

I was a GREAT wife to him! I was a stunningly creative lover, a luscious cook, an amazing mother to our children, and his equal as a business partner. We could have had a FABULOUSLY successful life if he would have only been willing to look at himself and his own issues, and work a little. Instead, he chose to live in denial and ignore it all, blame me for his issues, dump us, and risk everything for this OW.

I'm not proud of my attitude, but you know what? HA HA! Look what it got him. I am now losing weight and looking great; I am in perfect health and growing stronger by the year; I have my dream job and I'm moving up AGAIN; my home is a sanctuary (with teenagers, but a sanctuary nonetheless); I have two kids whom I dearly love and who I know dearly love me; I have more friends than I can count; I have a new, happy year ahead of me; and I'm ready to maturely move on to an actual, intimate relationship.

He has NOTHING. His is looking old and hagard; he is a workaholic and his job is killing him; he ignores his diabetes and mental illness, so his health is a wreck; he is so unstable that he can barely keep his job; he is being sued by everyone for several different things; his home is dirty and broken down; he has no one in his life anymore because he has literally driven everyone away; he has no friends; the new year is a nightmare of loneliness ahead for him; and I don't believe he is capable of a mature, mutual relationship.

OMG!! What a turnaround from when we first separated and filed for divorce!!! He seemed to have it all: a new townhouse with all new furniture, a new "multi-million dollar" job (heehee), freedom and no responsibility to his own kids, a bright future, and "the love of his life". Meanwhile I felt so cheated! I lost my home, had to use the old family furniture, lost my job and had kids to support too, had no real future that I could see, and NO ONE loved or cared about me!

Okay, okay. Don't 2x4 me too bad. I'm just not altogether UNHAPPY that they are finally broken up! Do you suppose he'll learn anything from it--admit he was wrong--clear the fog? NAAAAAH...me neither! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />


CJ

Good for you!

My guess is the reason your husband had any success during the marriage is because of you. Now that he lost you he can't control his life and his choices are pathetic. I'm so glad to hear that his "soul mate" turned out to be a psycho. That is a very happy ending. I'm going through the exact same thing. My husband and your's are very similar. As much as I can berate him for being the scum of the earth, I need to figure out why I allowed myself to love and marry someone like that. My brief internet research has led me to conclude that as an adult child of an alcoholic I try to rescue people and try too hard to make any relationship work. Maybe you have similar traits? I am a very good person too. Yet why did I choose this guy? There is a reason and I need to figure that out asap so I can prevent this from happening the next time. I hope you get a chance to heal from this and learn more about yourself and why you married such a pathetic scumbag. Meanwhile, you deserve to CELEBRATE! As you read this he is probably jacking off to porn or trying to hit on another prize winning psycho woman. Good luck to you and congratulations on winning this particular round. It matters.

A 2x4 for you? Of course not! Why should anyone 2x4 ya? Your attitude is not wrong. I know exactly how you feel - you see your Ex has literally "thrown away his life with BOTH hands" - I'm quite sure you did all you could before y'all split to keep your Marriage alive, yet he REFUSED to, so.. IT'S ON HIM. So.
He made his bed (literally) now he gets to sleep in it! I guess you could say about him what I say about my Ex: "Sucks to be her/him".
And so it is.
Sounds like you've been living the old saw: "Live well - it really is the best revenge."
Continue to enjoy life the best you can - I know I sure have.
SDLOTR

*snickers* Karma is a Bi+ch ain't it...hehehe

Faithful, You may borrow my Gloat-O-meter. Let me know how far up the scale you manage to get the needle. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

So far I have got the needle almost up to 7. Someday I hope to approach the maximum reading of 10. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Good one!

CJ

Yep. That Karma will kill ya if you aren't good to other people..

And plus the stats regarding their success was stacked against them. But that's the temporary glue that makes the OP stick together...The whole "the world thinks we aren't gonna make it..so we'll show them" attitude. It all backfires in the end.

How long was it again? They say two to three years is the life of the affair relationship...or at least the time the fires are a burnin'.

No 2x4 for you at all. Itis actually compassionate of you to even feel sorry for the guy after all he did. But compassion is what separates those with a conscience from those who are lacking in them.

You know, sometimes you just wanna say:

NYAH-NYAH-NYAH-NYAH-BOO-BOO!!!!!!!!

I know you did all you could to restore and improve your marriage. And I know you deserve to be freed from a lot of the burdens he cast on you. You fought a great fight.

And it is a wonderful thing to see you doing so well. And to hear that your hard work - on CJ - is paying off.

You go, Girl!!

Oh, and one more thing, we got the menorrah out again this year. It got a place of honor on my mantle with the candle holders my Bible class teachers gave me when I was 5. A truly multi-cultural display. Yeah.

LL, who is normally way too free with words on here can only say....

Awww...what a shame...the happy couple ran smack into a wall... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />

LL

buckylove--whoa! Chick! Is that sarcasm in your voice that I hear? GEEZ! Okay, take a chill pill. (shocked into silence)

Sauron the Dark Lord--Hmmm...it does suck to be him, doesn't it? And yep, by god he had chance after chance to not throw his life away, and he just up-chucked it! heehee (devil horns protruding)

surviving in his wake--I can't be positive, but I think the Karma bus just drove over a speedbump and it was him!

JustinExplorer--Yep! That's why I figured people would 2x4 me...'cuz I was all out, 100% redmeat american GLOATING. Yes, I was!! In the scientific field of gloatometry, I just discovered a new, higher vibration level I think!

peachy--YAY! I've missed hearing from you! Even if you are kinda feisty sometimes, I like your kind of brass lady! To answer your ??s, this is the same OW I found sexually explicit letters to on Thanksgiving, 2002. It is now Thanksgiving, 2004. Hmmmm...seems like the Harleys really have this down to a science, doesn't it??

Your royal majesty!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> YAY!!! It's always so good to hear from you, and I must say, I am PLEASED AS PUNCH to know that you not only still have but are using the menorah I sent you. Oh, we have just been friends forever, huh?? Let's see...I was a lovely young lady-in-waiting and you were a ravishing Princess--now look at us! haha!!

LL--I know what you mean. I'm trying to restrain myself here, but I can't help but feel just a little bit of "too bad, so sad." It's not the most "mature, christian" attitude, but oh well. Looks like the lovestory that was SOOOOOooooo valuable to him that he would give up EVERYTHING just took a nosedive off the cliff!


CJ

*falls over laughing* CJ...breath!.....hahaha but I bet it feels good to get all that out...O_o seems like it was held in for quite a bit.....hehehehe

heheheheee .... did anyone hear EX & so-called 'Soulmate' go... DOH! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> when they hit that brick wall. Yep, there is OFTEN 'trouble in paradise'-----
SDLOTR

You know, surviving in his wake, there really are parts of me that feel a little bad that I feel so happy that they broke up. In fact, the little birdie that told me, said they broke up about 1 1/2 months ago (like shortly before Thanksgiving!). OMG <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> I'm sorry but that is just UNCANNY. Two years, almost exactly to the month!!

Here's the part I have so much trouble swallowing with all the bile in my mouth: if they were so "perfect together" and "she understood him like I never did" and "she NEEDS him and I don't" and "their love is TRUE love" blah blah blah--why did it only last almost two years? WHY CAN'T THEY SEE THAT??? What personal, spiritual, or whatever blinders do they have in place that they (the WSs) don't get WHIPLASH from spinning their heads around so quickly and going HUH???? There just is no way above or below that this really was "true love", yet pigs will fly before WS can see that...WHY?? What prevents them from seeing the obvious pile of doggie doodoo they are laying in??? Lack of ofactory nerves or what???

HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE??? (shaking head in bewilderment)

Oh well, enough time spent on that. I'm doing the Snoopy Happy Dance in my living room (since the kids are asleep and I can do it without guilt). Happy-happy-happy.


CJ

I second that: You Go, Girl!

"True Love" died in just two measly years. Where's his fog talk now? LOL

Sounds like he deserves everything he's getting.

<small>[ December 20, 2004, 02:35 PM: Message edited by: QuietGuy ]</small>

FaithfulNewCJ,

Just goes to show looks can be deceiving--

Even though you haven't had the amount of money he has--didn't have all the newer and better things like he has--you've been able to find an inner peace money can't buy--which contiues to alude him--

What a great Christmas present-karma. I've seen the same story over and over again. It rarely works out with the OW. Once the chemical attraction wears off and reality hits it is over. Well, he'll have the rest of his life to think about it.

CJ~~~

I'm smiling for you!
I know exactly where you are coming from, and the GLOAT is well deserved!

I also have been hearing of late, that my x and his wonderful woman, who doesn't expect anything, and that is so much better than me, and that is so understanding.....You get the picture.
Well, seems that my girls are noticing how unhappy she is lately. Seems to be mad ALL the time, and is yelling at everyone, (including my girls).
Seems, she has been flying off the handle a lot lately.

They have been living together for 1 year now.
I'm thinking maybe, my x could be getting his own too, right about now!

We have come a long way, and we can sit back and smell the roses for a change.

Let the pieces fall where they may!

Take care, I'm happy for you that you are in a much healthier place.

K.

CJ------your so savvy, I love you!!! Of course you knew all along- how could any one in their right mind give up a woman like you of such substance! My, my, my!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Humpty dumpty has taken a fall- God bless us all!

A special heartfelt card greeting just for you!

http://www.angelhugs.org/ThatsWhy.html

Love
Sky