we have been separated for six weeks and in that time i have given up the drink and been going to a concceler to help me with my a,o [angry outbursts] and independent behavior in which i think was mainly due to the grog but she has said she want's to sell the house how do i get her trust back that i am chaing for the better for the both of us when i don't see her how can she see it ???

I don't know if it would be good or bad to be able to tell the future.

Do you ever see your wife? Do you know what her emotionnal needs are? How are you doing with trying to meet them?

Would she agree to counseling? If you've given up alcohol, have you given it up totally? Are you going to AA? Do you have a sponsor? Does she know about this?

HI cin
i do see W a little bit, it's only when she wants to pick more stuff up,I have asked if we could send a bit of time together and go out, or sit back and watch a flick she told me she would give me a ring yesterday, but of coarse no phone call I I really would like to start spending time with her but also understand that she may not be ready for, that yet i have asked her if she would go to
counseling with me and she said why they won't be able to make her fall back in love with me <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" />

And no i'm not going to AA, and yes i have stopped drinking it has been since 9\12\04 in wich i'm feeling great for, it to although i have lost like 16kg, but i think that's stress
related. I have said to many People, if iI can't keep this promise to myself ( not to drink ) how can I excpect to keep the promises i have made to my W, But i got a really bad feeling that in her eyes that it is over, I'm still hoping that she will see the changes that not drinking, and me working on other issues in myself.
I have been going to counseling by myself and are about to start A Mens Behaviour Change Program so hopefully i can get rid of my ANGRY OUTBURSTS IN WICH I HAVE HAD AND DONE I think the grog didn't help this problem as since i have woken up to the way i had been treating her and about the preson I became with the grog, I have not lost my cool at all, as i have been learnig how to express my inner feeling and deal with them in a different ways.

I would love for her to give it another go with me

I just want to give you thumbs up for quittin the drink.... That is the first step. I am a child of an alcoholic and no one but you can make that decision, believe I tryed for years. Not myself, her.

Just want to say stay on track and keep support like this even to just talk or vent....

I know it's hard to believe this but even if she is gone something positive became of it. You have stopped drinking, you have stopped killing yourself, you have stopped taking yourself away from people who love you. Be proud of that.

I am not in the same boat you are but I do have the same feelings of wishing they would return. I am a WW. I still have to make the same steps forward and back you do.

Keep it up, eventually she'll see it, she may not come around but she'll see it. We all do.

SG