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Joined: Jul 2001
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I don't see why dating after divorce should be any worse than dating before marriage. If I remember correctly, when I was dating there was a lot of using and being used going on as well.

The stakes are only higher when there are children involved.

Of course, this comes from someone who openly admits that she'd need her own hotel room at least, and probably on another floor in order to control her urges. Maybe I'm not the best person for an opinion on dating.

Plus, I'm pretty jaded about trips with boyfriends thanks to a boyfriend from a while back. Truth is, if I weren't in a panic because of having ants in my pants, I'd be scared out of my wits by the emotional stress of going away. Anyway, I think my point is I'm too biased to give opinion on more that clothes.

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the 24 hour clock (deadline I gave swissboy) is ticking and ticking. Briefly talked to him when he called this afternoon. I soberly said "we need to talk later." He said yea. Spoke to Lost Husband last night and he think that swissboy may have been out on a wild boys' night and may have been ...well...under the influence of the grape so to speak.

We will find out later tonight. I'll let you guys know when I know.

Till then I am going to just keep busy. Worked 9 hours today and am going into kitchen to bake a cake right now...son came home and he said "let's do something new years' special together." So we're baking a funfetti cake.

And bumperii..thank you for the tough love. It's good to hear another side to this. And you very well may be dead on target.

GG..I understand what you mean...I mean, it would be nothing to leave your door cracked a little.

I dunno. I almost think what LH said last night sounds plausible too. Was 6 am when he called me. I almost think he was coming in from a night out.

Clueless: Thank you my dear. He's from a touch farther down in the delta, but not far off. From a well known family so I can't say who he is. And he may have had a night out w/the boys (who he went to the bowl game with) and they may be harassing him saying stuff like "you don't want to do that do you? Why should a guy like you settle down?" Have no clue, but thank you <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

High Flight: Thank you also. You are right. I am thinking and pondering your thoughts and ides along with bumper's and everybody's here. As well as lost husband's.

Something funny happened last night though. My best girlfriend fell asleep at eight pm last night and she called me up after she'd been napping for maybe an hour or so. This is hilarious. She had a nightmare...well, a silly nightmare about my xh. She said she dreamed about this silly 1970's song and that my x was staring at himself (had 70's hair like guy in dodgeball and a white stayin' alive suit) and was singing into the mirror. She remembered the words but couldn't remember the title of the song. When I talked last night to lost husband, I said the words and lyrics my buddy remembered...he knew the song and googled it for me! Scary part is it was a country song. In my best friends' dream, she said he said "damn. this would make a great rap song." Anybody here remember my x and his investment in the west coast record company called "felony records?" Lost husband remembered that and my best friend thinks she dreamed that dream about that.

Anyway, this song is for Mr. Swiss. Or for my x. Or for any guy who thinks he is the greatest thing since sliced bread. Now if I can only download the darn song so I can sing it to swissboy over the phone tonight...lmao...

Here are the lyrics: And yes, you can sing them to any WS in the world!

Oh Lord It's Hard to be Humble <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Oh Lord it's hard to be humble
When you're perfect in every way
I can't wait to look in the mirror
Cuz I get better lookin each day

To know me is to love me
I must be a hell of a man
Oh Lord it's hard to be humble
But I'm doin' the best that I can

I used to have a girlfriend
But I guess she just couldn't compete
With all these love starved women
Who keep clamoring at my feet

Well I probably could find me another
But I guess they're all in awe of me
Who cares I never get lonesome
Cuz I treasure my own company

Oh Lord it's hard to be humble
When you're perfect in every way
I can't wait to look in the mirror
Cuz I get better lookin each day

To know me is to love me
I must be a hell of a man
Oh Lord it's hard to be humble
But I'm doin the best that I can

I guess you could say I am a loner
A cowboy all locked up and proud
Well I could have lots of friends if I wanted
But then I wouldn't stand out in a crowd

Some folks say that I'm egotistical
Hell I don't even know what that means
I guess it has something to do with the way
That I fill out my skin tight blue jeans

Peach is giggling...he he he he he he he.

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Hey Peachy,

Sometimes I think I'm the only person I know who doesn't have an ego problem. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Yes, I remember that song! I think it was recorded by Mac Davis.

Anyway, you seem to have all the mixed feelings that go along with this part of the recovery process. Please keep us posted.

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peachy, is this true? This is a first date?

If so, then you are definetly going very fast. May I suggest a few dinners, some dancing, and such to get to know each other better.

A trip to NY on the first date? Nope, to far and to fast.

Oh, give him at least 3 dates before you make a judgment about him.

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Nope...Justin Not a first date...would be more like a seventh or eighth date...but no need in worrying.

I am not going to go.

I haven't talked to him in 2 days now and was waiting for his "follow up call" from his Florida trip w/the guys. I got 2 calls from a restricted number but accidentally hung up on them b/c I was on the other line on my cell. I think he's been feeling guilty of what he said. And this guy knows that I mean business. If somebody does not do what they say, then it's dumpsville. I don't care what his story is. If he cannot give me the decency of a call before sunday, six days before I was supposed to go on a trip with him, then he is not going to like what he gets.

Complete avoidance rx. Could not deal with me being angry with him, so he didn't call...for like a month. My life is too complicated for more complications. Last thing I need is a guy who can't deal with issues positively. I don't yell. I am not an aggressive person. But I do ask questions and I do inquire when I think things aren't kosher. And yes, I do dump. I have dumped alot in 04. I dumped him earlier b/c of same kind of issues. He went out with his x fiancee to dinner after telling me he wanted to see only me (last year) and I told him after I found out that if he was going to go to dinner with her, even as friends, that he could forget my number as I don't date men who have obligations even if they are old ones. If he had unfinished business, he'd better finish them up or never bother calling again.

I am upfront and honest. Never abrupt or mean. But I expect to be treated as I treat others.

Quite frankly, I am shocked at this behavior. It is very out of character for this guy...who's friends are people I've known for many years.

Either he's gotten cold feet or he's gotten cold feet.

Unfortunately as it would seem, it would suffice to say that the peach will be single a bit longer...sigh.

However, I am not wallowing in it and have another date tonight...nice guy who lives not too far from here. One who had the new years' party. We're going out for mexican, margaritas and to see a movie. Son is going to x's for a night of monster truck action. I am trading a day with x for this...and a midweek night. So I get a date night out of it and two more days with my son. That is good negotiation imho.

Gotta run. Will give an update when Mr. Swissboy Coldfeet lets me know what his problem is...funny...we love to watch spongebob sqarepants and I almost went outta town with swissboy coldfeet.

I could almost make up a song for him to tune of spongebob theme...

Maybe sunrise could make up a song? Anybody?

It could start off like:

Who lives in dunwoody and messes with me?
Swissboy Coldfeet
Indecisive yet handsome and uncommittal is he
Swissboy Coldfeet
Who asked me to fly up to a gigantic ci=ty
Swissboy Coldfeet

Joined: Mar 2004
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Good Song there Peach!!
Funny thing is, I could put the tune with it. I must get out more!!!!!

Well, maybe this all worked out in your best interest. I do wonder how he could have said the things he said, and go south so fast.

I have not had any experience with stuff like this.
I like to come here to read and learn.

I hope you have a good date tonight. So glad you are not sitting home and thinking about Mr Childish.

AS for me, I get to have a B-day tomorrow.
They are just not fun anymore.
My girls are with their father, but will come home tomorrow. Kids get excited about birthdays regardless of the age. I'm not too thrilled as I will turn 4---2. That number just does not have a cute ring to it.

Have a great time tonight. Keep us posted on the goings on.

K.

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Peachy, Do you believe this?????

Kids (my youngest is 17, oldest 24) received invites in the mail for X's SURPRISE 49th BD party from OW.

Who the he!! throws a 49th BD party?

Anyhow, the invitations are Sponge Bob Square Pants invitations!!!!!! Looks like a party for a 5YO. Oh yean that's right I forgot we were talking about mt X.

Kids suggested getting 5YO appropiate presents for him. Any suggestions?

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Ok.

I am taking a deep breath as I write this.

1)I am NOT speaking to swissboy. He is completely absent and is already in NY. I don't get it. I know this guy. He did NOT call back that day, the day I was awaiting his call and did NOT discuss anything as I asked him to...thus, he is dumped...yep. dumped again. He'd better have a story of a natural disaster or some wild work tale...but then again, a call is quick and cheap...so he's dumped.

2)I had taken off of work already...so I have made ALTERNATE PLANS!!!! Yippee...am going to charleston and staying at a nice resort with a few friends of mine...and incidentally, one of the friends is a friend of mine (yes, a guy) who is in the club I am a member of...we are all staying at this resort and are going to have an incredible view of charleston harbor from the mini suite, and a walkout balcony...thank goodness for friends...oh, and did I mention that my guy friend is absolutely single and handsome???Probably not as I am one to always just see people as they are...heck, I didn't know my xbf was interested in me until we'd gone out 3 or 4 times...but my buddy I swear, is the spitting image of tom cruise in top gun...the scene where he's playing volleyball that is...except my buddy is six feet tall...so it should be fun in the resort hot tub this weekend with my friends and with "maverick" in the tub too!

3)am not crying that hard over swissboy. He just went completely dark. I don't get it. Not at all. I mean, is this completely third grade or what? He started acting wierd in miami last week out w/the guys and then spouted off about being worried about having a committment and then calls once to discuss the trip and my plans (itenerary) and then doesn't call back at all? And I thought i'd probably end up being the runaway bride someday...but think swissboy is either so much of a committment-phobe or is in the middle of hiding something...it is one or the other and my brain hurts and I don't feel quite like psychoanalyzing him.

Ok. Here is stands. Am leaving early friday morning and going to charleston. Will be in good company w/a few good friends and all of us are staying in resort suites...very nice. Got a killer deal on them too...and with harbor and ocean views. We are going to try to find some funky jazz places, good places to eat, take some historic tours, and go to the aquarium...and also take in the incredible views each night. Each one of us is bringing one very very good bottle of wine with us too...

I don't have to worry about doors being closed. Can have all the eye candy I want in the hot tub this weekend with 2 of the guys going with us...(note, nobody is a couple so it's cool)...it may not be the trip that swiss tried to talk me into, but I am ok and actually quite hip for this...

Oh, and ms. cool, swiss is not from tunica...but I have lots of relatives near southaven and that area in MS.

GG may I request you go and buy the soundtrack from the spongebob movie? It is indeed a favorite movie...of my son that is...lol...the ow is just trying to make her presence known that's all. She's planned the party and is trying to make it "kid friendly" so she'll be accepted. I think it's stupid myself though...who in the heck does have a 49th party? I will not that's for sure...Or you could get him some of the "over the hill" party favors that I have seen at party city stores...They even have pretend pills...made of candy...ones that are even worded like the viagra bottles...he he he he he...

I am just bad...very bad sometimes... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

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Peachy,

1. I think you mean for Sunrise to buy the Spongebob record. Maybe.

Next:
Reasons why the Charleston Trip will be SOOOO MUCH Better than NYC with Swissboy

1. The weather in NYC is supposed to be cold this weekend and if the northeast weather holds, gloomy as well.
2. Charleston will be pleasant.
3. The view of the water in Charleston is better. The Hudson is nice and all, but get too close and you can see you wouldn't want to fall in.
4. NYC is best seen by a single gal for the first time sans escort. Go with your girlfriends 'cause there are too many hotties to look at.
5. NYC is still in mourning over the loss of Kerry. One of my Ma's liberal friends has refused to have her regular party because every "is just too depressed." Kid you not. So, keep your GOP body in the south for the time beinging.
6. Swissboy was big on sizzle (suite, weekend adventure, buy something nice), but he has proven twice to be a little short on the steak. (I'm waiting for LH and some others to take that out of context.)
7. If you come alone to NYC another weekend, or better yet hit the whole Northeast for a week, you can visit us from Boston down to Washington. I'm in quaint Lancaster County.

I'll add more as they come to me.

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X already has Spong Bob CD

When he was seeing OW on the sly and was insisting it was over he became fascinated with Sponge BOB, he was practically shoving it down our throats, would watch it all day saturday, would buy SB stuff and give our son (he was 14 at the time) Slippers, cookie jars etc...

turns out OW's daughter (4YO)was in love with sponge bob and this was his connection to OW's daughter

we would give him back the SP stuff for his birthday, but son sold it all at yard sale in July <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

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PS
Charleston is so beautiful!!! Have a great time. My oldest son spent his first year at college there. I just love looking at the old homes, and rainbow row is breathtaking, just like little doll houses

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Talked to swissboy last night late...he again asked me (mind you this was wednesday night) to come to NYC this weekend with him...I mean, after several days of no contact.

I tell him that I do not have monday off anymore...I do NOT tell him I have today and friday off though...I do tell him I made alternate plans with some friends...as he left me waiting and waiting and I was just needing a break and a change of scenery. He's claiming he's back to being his old self, has been working eleven hour days training with the s.bank up there and is exhausted and that is why I didn't hear from him...and that he was sorry for what he said. He won't be back for nine more days and I told him that it was ok...he could wait nine more before seeing me and that even if I were to agree to see him again, he'd have to straighten out alot more than he may think he does.

Anyway, there's some major stuff going down with work...I work doing long term contracts for a med. company and they gave me the day off today as the practice I have been contracting with is working on the "schedule"...I think they have possibly hired somebody full time since I switched offices three mos. ago and also since I saw an ad in the paper last week...prohibited from hiring me on full time due to my being under contract with my company and they doing business with my company. I will do sales and marketing on monday for my company until the schedule, or whatever they are up to, is arranged...either way, I am salaried and not working job to job so I am not to be affected by any changes. But as a single mom, you can understand why I get in a tizzy over the slightest change in anything work related.

Does anybody here have alot of difficulty with changes? I mean, I am so scared of not having a good job that I will worry myself sometimes sick...I am not worried though...my direct supervisor said to "go and have a great time and spend some money...that if I have a job to go to on monday then that means my job is fine." I am going into home office on monday to do sales for them so I guess everything is fine. Clinically I am good, so I am not worried about that. When my gay counterpart at the other clinic quit last week, they had hired within one day somebody else...and I am wondering if they have hired a second since it's cheaper to have them there than me...our company has a great relationship with the clinic/practice so they'd just probably rearrange something or else my company would place me somewhere else..which might be nice as I really don't want to see the xbf anymore.

Now to charleston...I am leaving at seven thirty am tomorrow...nice and early.

Today am packing, going to take a nap, get a body wrap, go running (before the wrap) and shop for an outfit or two. Drop off dry cleaning and clean up around the house. Am going to pack late tonight and to bed around ten or so...wake up super early, throw bags in the car, and drive (after dropping dogs off) to dunwoody and meet friends and caravan down to charleston.

Thank you GG for the sweet words...and I can't wait to meet you soon. I hope we get to do that. Boston would be great also...and I heard from swissboy that it indeed was rainy and cold in nyc. sorry bout the spongebob mixup. I am going to get online and checkout charlestoncvb.com to find out what weather is like...as for here, it's about 65 degrees and cloudy. If it's like that all weekend, it'd be awesome...sunny even better.

Got an email from brian, the hot guy/friend, and he said he was all hyped about the trip and going with all of us. He said he can't wait to do some things and was wanting to know where I think dinner would be nice at...hint, he has been a bit friendlier, btw lately..and incidentally he's been ironically in nyc also this week on business.

sunrise: gross. spongedad seems wierd to me. What i have learned is that the ws will try to find ways to "integrate" the oc/children with the already present kids from your marriage...what my xh did and what the ow/wistres has done and I've heard this happening all the time. Way to minimize their crapola again and again.

Id go buy him a box of today sponges...yea, the contraceptive sponges...paint one or two yellow and draw a little face on them...what an appropriate birthday gift for a liar and a cheat huh? give him the "ultimate" sponge for the party...and you could get some yellow dish sponges (cheap kind) at store and draw faces on them for the ow when she does her chores...ah, the ow doing work...he he he.

Now...this is something I am wondering about...1)sensible undies vs. cute ones...and 2)bring swimsuit? there is a nice large hottub/heated pool at resort.

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Ah Charleston...one of my very favorite places to go. Go to the Peninsula Grill for dinner if you can....it's a splurge but SOOOOO good! Slightly North of Broad is good as well. Actually, it's hard to go wrong w/food there.

There are walking tours of the Civil War..I am not a history buff, but even I enjoyed it immensely. And shopping in Market, antiquing on King St, exploring backs streets to check out gardens....the list is endless.

Have a great time!

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Now...this is something I am wondering about...1)sensible undies vs. cute ones...and 2)bring swimsuit?

What is up with this???

This is the second time that you have asked about a choice of undies.

The first time you asked if you should wear and bring any sensible ones...and if so, what kind. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

Why do you feel the a need to do that here?

Boy, I was so hoping that when you started posting again that things would be different.

I can see that they aren't ... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />

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