I'm new to the group and hope joining will help me get through this time.

My H came home from deployment last Christmas Eve (03) and told me that he loved me but wasn't in love with me and wanted to be on his own. I didn't kick him out because I didn't want the kids to suffer so for the past 11 months until he deployed again at the end of Nov. we lived like strangers. He slept on the couch but spent time with the kids.

Prior to him telling me, I thought it was because of my weight (I knew he hated me being a size 16 but so did I). He deployed and I went down to a size 6.

When he told me it crushed me and then the strangest thing was a couple of hours after sleeping he comes downstairs and says "wow you look good" but that was it.

I've tried for the past 11 mths to show him what he will be missing. Not only me but two 4 yr olds that love him dearly. I never really saw the problems but now that I look back he never treated me very well (everyone else saw it but me). He's completely changed from being anal about everything to not caring about anything.

Here's the kicker, he wants us to live close by so he can come over whenever he wants to and thinks I one day will go into his arms and hug him like a friend. I told him I'm your wife and friend, I don't want to just be friends, so that won't ever happen.

I've conceded and am going to give him the divorce. He's major Midlifing and I'm lost but trying to stay in control for my kids.

As for living close by, he doesn't even know where his next orders are and I'm not moving until I am assured I have a job with the same pay as I make now.

Sorry this is long and rambles. Right now that's how I feel lost and rambling. <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" />

God bless.

Welcome to MB.

Are you willing to give up? I think not.

You can get excellent help on GQII. Alot of us are already divorced, but we will try.

Is your h having an affair? Sounds like it.

You need to think now and this is the right place. Get a MB counselor too. Develop a plan to save things...and work from your end.

Is there an OP? You need to k now these things.

I am going to work early, so I have to get offline now.

But we wish you the best and will help you if we can. You gotta give us facts. You lost the weight and it seems like that was an excuse...but an excuse by your H to do what?

You have to know what to overcome by knowing what it is. How can you heal your M if you don't know what is wrong with it? If it's an affair then we can help. If it is EN's, then we can help. If it's communication, then we can help.

You're not powerless. You will be helped if you want it. Gotta talk to us ok? Contact the harleys or save your marriage central and get working! Read on and learn all you can learn.