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Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 482
H
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H Offline
Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 482
I've always heard that men are quicker to move on then women as they really don't like being alone. I just wonder, as I'm packing to leave, if he'll move on quickly - meet someone else or if he's already lined someone else up since we were sleeping in different rooms and no sex while I was preg, had baby and all the fighting since. I separated from him two years ago, for three months, just to move back and get preg. Brilliant. Dr. Phil is right, if there are major problems and they aren't resolved getting back together just makes them worse. So here I am, likely heading to the Big D and as the country song goes, it's not Dallas. I wonder if he dates will I think, I missed out, wasn't a good wife, should have tried to repair the marriage instead of having fits - but then again we had some really bad times. Bad. He has money, he's in his mid 40s, I saw our first year of marriage that he enjoyed flirting until I shut that down - and mostly it was younger, much younger like 20 years younger - and broke women. It really steamed me, insulted me although he did it for his insecurities I think. Plus I was gone a lot on business, not to excuse it. Will I ever know if he cheated or not? Does it even matter? Will it matter when he's with some young bimbo and I'm dropping our kid off - he's the type to live with someone, I made him marry me and refused to just live with him but he wanted to after just three months of dating! The scenerio that will kill me - the baby calling some young bimbo "mom" - I know, I spend ONE weekend with a boyfriend years ago, the kid in a similar situation, he was getting divorced called ME mom and I quit dating him because he wasn't concerned and I felt bad. Shouldn't have even spent a night there. I'm sure it steamed the soon to be ex as much as it would steam me.... but that's his decision. I don't even know if I can decide to live far from him or not but if I'm nearby it'll steam me even more. Why is it the abusive type of men, verbally and otherwise like my husband chose the niave young ones. I was niave and youg, is 28 young, when I met him. Now i'm 37, old washed up and very tired from four years of marriage and all of the years of defending myself with this man... I lost my youth, now he'll go marry someone more youthful that looks up to him. I don't and he needs that.

Joined: Jun 2003
Posts: 2,186
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Joined: Jun 2003
Posts: 2,186
Hi Horsey! 37, old and all washed-up? Naw, I would not say that. I'm 48 and been remarried now going on 5 years this coming April.
You're still young! You have not hit the 'Lordy Lordy look who's 40' yet. In 2 years, I'll be half a frigging CENTURY old! But, I'm only as old as I feel in my mind. So are you.
Lemme see... My (now) ex-wife began dating this dude in January 1998. We were still married and living together. She gets engaged to him in February or March the same year. I moved out of our house in early April. Got our Divorce official in June 1998. I guess you could say she moved on pretty darned quick...
Just my experience.
There ARE good men out there, just as there are good women out there. Give it time, pray, and fer sure, stay here on MB!
I sincerely wish you healing and closure on this, as well as finding a new (and faithful) love in your life.
God bless you,
SDLOTR

Joined: Oct 2001
Posts: 3,788
J
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Joined: Oct 2001
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Sorry to hear bout that friend...

As for me, my xh was dating the last year we were living together. When papers were signed by the judge, he married his preggers girlfriend.

Btw..found out yesterday from his secretary and her husband (good friends of mine) that he's been cheating on his affair wife of one year for the last six months with a prior OW..(incidentally there were more than one OW in the picture...)

You make your life choices based on what YOU want. Don't worry if they put somebody into their life to fill a superficial void. Worry about healing and your life now.

As for me, I started dating, but AFTER the divorce. Been doin' ok. Kissed a few frogs and worried now that the prince I have been seeing could indeed be another frog in princely disguise..

Like I've said before, there's alot of frogs out there girl. Don't fret.


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