Two Priests

Two priests are off to the showers late one night. They undress and step into the showers, when they realize there is no soap. Father John says that he has soap in his room, so he goes to get it, not bothering to dress. He grabs two bars of soap, one in each hand, and heads back to the showers. He is halfway down the hall, when he sees three nuns heading his way. Having no place to hide, he stands against the wall and freezes like he's a statue.

The three nuns stop and comment on how lifelike their new statue looks. The first nun suddenly reaches out and pulls on his penis. Startled, he drops a bar of soap. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

"Oh look," says the first nun, "It's a soap dispenser. "

To test her theory, the second nun also pulls on his manhood. Sure enough, he drops the second bar of soap. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> Now the third nun decides to have a go at it. She pulls on his manhood a few times and nothing happens, so she pulls a few more times, but still nothing happens. She decides to give it one last try, so she pulls a few more times on his manhood, and then yells, "Holy Mary... It's a hand lotion dispenser, too!" <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

I know I should be appalled. But, it's really funny.

LOL........

LOL, too!!!

Oh my! I'm ROTFL hehehe thanks for sharing that one!
SDLOTR <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

<img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> LOLOLOLOLOLOL!!

This one keeps replaying in my mind. Too funny!!
K

As the STBX wife of a man who will drive nothing without the letters BMW on it... Here is one that had me laughing..."

What's the difference between a cactus and a BMW? On a cactus the pr!cks are on the outside."

<img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> FWH drives a BMW!!!

A married couple in their early 60s were out celebrating their 35th wedding anniversary in a quiet, romantic little restaurant.
Suddenly, a tiny yet beautiful fairy appeared on their table and said "For being such an exemplary married couple and for being faithful to each other for all this time, I will give you each a wish."
"Oh oh, I want to travel around the world with my dearest husband" said the wife. The fairy moved her magic stick and - abracadabra! two tickets for the QM2 luxury liner appeared in her hands.
Now it was the husbands turn.
H e thought for a while "Well this is all very romantic - but an opportunity like this only occurs once in a lifetime...so... I'm sorry my love, but my wish is to have a wife 30 years younger than me".
The wife - and the fairy - were deeply disappointed, but a wish is a wish....
So, the Fairy made a circle with her magic stick and - abracadabra! - the husband became 92 years old.

You see...Men might be unfaithful idiots......

But fairies are females after all !

A little boy comes down to breakfast. Since they live on a farm, his mother asks if he had done his chores.

"Not yet." said the little boy. His mother tells him he can't have any breakfast until he does his chores.

Well, he's a little pi$$ed, so he goes to feed the chickens and he kicks a chicken. He goes to feed the cows and he kicks a cow. He goes to feed the pigs and kicks a pig.

He goes back in for breakfast and his mother gives him a bowl of dry cereal. No milk & nothing else!

"How come I don't get any eggs and bacon ? Why don't I have any milk in my cereal ?" He asks.

"Well", his mother says, "I saw you kick a chicken, so you don't get any eggs for two weeks. I saw you kick a pig so you don't get any bacon for two weeks either. I also saw you kick the cow, so for two weeks you aren't geting any milk."

Just then, his father comes down for breakfast and kicks the cat as he's walking into the kitchen.

The boy looks up at his mother with sly smile and says, " Are you going to tell him or should I"?

Why yelling at men doesn't work!

What a woman says:

This place is a mess!

C'mon!

You and I need to clean up!

Your stuff is lying on the floor and you'll have no clothes to wear if we don't do laundry right now!

What a man hears:

blah,blah,blah,blah, C'MON

blah,blah,blah,blah, YOU AND I

blah, blah,blah,blah, ON THE FLOOR

blah,blah,blah,blah, NO CLOTHES

blah,blah,blah,blah, RIGHT NOW!

A man said to his wife one day, "I don't know how you
can be so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time.
" The wife responded, "Allow me to explain. God made
me beautiful so you would be attracted to me;
God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you!