I am starting to think that my wife wants to start in on fixing us. How do I tell if she is just trying to have one last bit of fun or if she really wants to get back together? She has been dropping hints for a while now but she has also finally produced some papers from the lawyer. How do I know where to go next? She has finally admitted what has been going on with her and I am somewhat interested in fixing this but only if she is in it with me. Where do I go now? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" />

I just say be cautious. Judge her by her actions, not her words. My WW/STBXW tells me she doesn't think she wants a D, but just hours before tellin me that she emailed her OM telling him how much she missed him and it was just another ****ty day at home, then signed it off with "love you". She doesn't know I know her email password so I should not be privy to those emails. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

I take her words with a grain of salt and watch her actions.

Good luck to you.

This girl is driving me up the wall. Does she ever tell the truth about anything? Can she tell the truth about anything? She tol me that nothing was happening between her and the cook where she works because there was no mutual interest. However when I asked about the 46 year old married man she just kind of shrugged it off and mumbled something. Now I want the truth! I am sick of only finding out things long after they have happened. Every time we get into this stuff she just tells me that she is sorry and then tells me that I drove her to it. Now, I agree that I hold some blame here but it was HER choice to let the other men into her heart not mine. To add to that she just tell me that there was nothing to any of this but after what I have seen I know that is a lie. I found all kinds of info on one of these men (dirving directions to his house,birth info,various important numbers) this sounds to me a bit like stalking. She tels me there is nothing I say she is obsessed with the other man. I say that more happened than she is telling me. I am so sick of this crap. Nothing will ever come out of her mouth unless you have the proof that condemns her. How do you deal with a person that acts like this?
On another note we got into the arguement about where all of this started again. I finally let her have it full-on about how she is always worried about everybody else's problems and never had the energy left to deal with ours. She tryed to tel me that she wanted to bring up the problems but I would never let her. I told her that I can only remeber one time she really brought up a problem and we never got through it because we had to go to sleep. I told her that I had brought up alot of stuff but all she ever did was to turn it around and blame it all on me, and if she did not do that she would just sit there and yell at me for a while. This time though I told her that she had gotten too close to these other men to be able to give "us" any time at all. I also told her that I did give her attention but after she was done with work (and talking to Eric aout his problems) she had too little energy to really enjoy anything I did for her. I brough up one thing I did for her and for quite a while she did not even remember what I had done even though at the time she really had a good time. When she finally remebered it she just got this look of sadness on her face and she just stopped explaining everything away. Maybe she realized that I had tried to break through but she was too concerned with her "crushes" to notice me. Maybe I have to bring this to her attention. What do I do now? I need this to be over fast or for her to decide to make this work. Either way I need an answer soon or my options will narrow unacceptably. She has me in a real bind and she knows it I guess........ <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" />

Confused,

Every single time I read your thread, it just reminds me of my own deceitful wife. Sorry to hear what you're going through.

It certainly looks like a foggy night tonight.

Confused, sorry about this. This is one of the things that drives me crazy about my WW/STBXW. She only admits to something if I show her proof. Otherwise she denies, denies, denies. It pisses me off! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" />