I spent most of my time on the General Questions board during my ex's A and am now divorced. In short he left me for OW when I was 6 months pregnant. My son is now 5 months old. We divorced when my son was a month old.
I have healed a great deal from the hurt and do not want my XH at all.
My only problem and anger stems from things with OW. For instance she is going to be watching my son (bath and bedtime) for two hours on the weekend my XH has my son.
This makes my blood boil.
Any advice on how to not let this get to me. I hate it when he gets the best of me.
THANKS in advance.

Durham,

I can't offer any advice. I'm am just getting the ball rolling her toward the big D. Hired a PI today to try to get proof of WH's A. Hopefully it won't take too much time or $$$. I checked WH's cell phone records online and found pix of my kids that he'd sent to OW. Oh that makes me so angry!!! I want to throttle him! The idea of her having any contact with my kids at all just makes me SICK! I can't even imagine what I'd do if I had an infant. I'm so so very sorry for your situation. Your WH is just stupid for what he's done...just like mine is. How can they be so selfish, I wonder?

A friend that has already gone through D told me the first times her kids were with her XH were some of the worst times for her, but it's better now. She's doing well and so are the kids (5 boys!!!). So hang in there and know that you are not alone.

Dear Durham,
I have thought of you so often since our stories are so similar. I am sorry that we are meeting here. How are you doing post D? How is your S? Isn't being a mom the most wonderful experience? I am so sorry your WXH didn't wake up. He will be regretful someday.

My H's A is over and he now sees it for the mistake it was. However he doesn't see that our M can be saved. He claims he tried. I don't see it. I still live in fear that he is involved with ow again or has a "new friend". I have filed for D. My 3 months are up, so now we just have to agree on settlement and custody.

My H wants joint custody, but where I live I was told that he probably won't get it. I am praying daily on that. It's not that I don't want to share DD, but I want her to know where her home is. I also have bonded with her - She was almost completely mine for the first year of her life while he was sleeping with OW.

I am having problems with losing her for a few hours and some weekends, so I can't imagine knowing that she would be with the OW that destroyed my M. Thankfully I won't have to, but I'm sure there will be gf's in H's life. But there isn't much we can do about it. I take some comfort in knowing that H loves DD dearly and would want the best for her.

Since I haven't dealt with it yet, I can't really help you. Friends that have lived it told me to get involved in something so I don't have to think about her not being with me. They also said that I will learn to like that me time and it comes in handy when I would be ready to date. I guess I have to try to believe them, because there really isn't anything that I can do about it.

Take care of yourself and enjoy each minute with the baby. They grow so quick
CD

Sorry, no advice, just a comment. It's funny, I got to thinking about this the other day. It really hurts that my WW/STBXW's OM will get more time with my children than I will should their relationship take the next level once we are divorced. I am realistic and know my WW/STBXW will get custody of the children, barring her being a drug addict or something the courts will give the mother custody 99% of the time. So I get to miss all those little moments watching my children grow up and some OM will see them, some OM who doesn't even love them like I do. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />

MIF?