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Joined: Nov 2003
Posts: 79
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OP
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Joined: Nov 2003
Posts: 79 |
This past weekend my 18month old went with his dad for the first weekend visit. It was painful for child and me. I had to force child into STBX car seat (which I will not do again). Son was crying as much as I was. I tried to calm him down by going for a ride with them but it didn't help.
Anyway my question is what do you do with yourself while child is gone? I exercised Saturday morning but when I got home I didn't know what to do with myself. When I'm with son I can think of all kinds of things to do that he wont interrupt but then when he was really gone I couldn't concentrate on anything.
So what do you do when your kids are gone? Most of my friends are married with children, it would have been akward to visit them without my son.
Waiting for suggestions.
J
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Joined: Feb 2002
Posts: 4,199
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Joined: Feb 2002
Posts: 4,199 |
Sleep, clean the house, scrapbook. Be an adult.
Meet a friend for lunch or coffee. See a movie.
Go grocery shopping or other shopping in peace.
Nap, watch adult TV shows. Catch up on movies at home. Read, read and read.
You are so used to being "on" as a parent, that you don't know how to turn off. You will learn, and appreciate your time alone, or with friends. Someday, you'll come to appreciate that time.
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Joined: May 2000
Posts: 15,150
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Joined: May 2000
Posts: 15,150 |
I used to play my piano.....bear in mind that I don't know how to play the piano. So, sometimes all I did was bang on it. And nobody was there to tell me I couldn't.
Long bubble baths. With music, candles, and wine.
Sleep
Read
Sew
Round up a friend.
See my mom
Go see my sister who lives 30 miles away.
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Joined: Sep 2000
Posts: 3,830
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Joined: Sep 2000
Posts: 3,830 |
I cook myself wonderful gourmet meals.
I go out to a movie that is a little adult.
I drink some wine because I rarely if ever drink in front of the kids.
I listen to Frank Sinatra, soak in a bubble bath with floating candles, and shave my legs.
I sing along to songs on the radio and dance in the livingroom.
I take my dog to a new park and walk until HE'S tired!
I go to the library or bookstore, order a cappucino, and look at books without being disturbed!
I go to Red Lobster, because for some reason I go there by myself as a treat to me.
I meet girlfriends for dessert and totally skip dinner.
I do laundry and clean because there are no kids there to mess it up as I'm cleaning it!!
I paint my toenails because it's frivolous.
I write--journals, or blogs, or newsletters, or something! I love to write.
FNCJ
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Joined: Mar 2004
Posts: 1,430
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Joined: Mar 2004
Posts: 1,430 |
Hi R&J~~
I wanted to add, that I think it will get easier for you.
However, I do very much remember what it felt like the first months, when it was all so new. I felt so lost without my girls.
I agree with the others,
Take time to read.
Exercise, walk in the park, or whatever form you enjoy.
Something that really makes me feel special, that I only started to do since being on my own is, treating myself to a pedicure. Its so relaxing, and totally for me.
I'm sorry the separation was so painful. I can say, going in to the second year of visitation, it does get easier, but, mine children would prefer to be with me. Which, I will take as a compliment.
Best of luck to you.
K.
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