Well, I've been waiting to institute plan B. Waiting for my WS to get money for stock he sold and move out. In the meantime, the fog is thick and all he can say is "I can't choose"

As I sat with my attorney, filling him in on all that has happened since last spring when I had filed for D, prior to confronting WS about A or finding MB concepts, I just felt pathetic, I saw myself as weak and pathetic, no wonder I'm my WS's doormat.

I had made the appt. to discuss legal separation, but by the end of our appt. told him to hold off and give me 24 hrs to decide between Separation and Divorce.

I decided on divorce. I just cannot live one more minute with "I don't know", just cannot. I need to move on, either with a defogged xWS or alone, but absolutely cannot tolerate my WS dishonoring me, our family, and our vows - anymore - period.

I've told him, and he said...."you know that this will end any chance for us" duh

I told him his inablility to end the affair and work on our marriage has ended any chance of that.

so he says, "chances will be slim to none" for us to get back together. duh

I told him, "I agree, after you choose OW and divorce over our marriage and family, it will be 0%"

duh

Well good luck. I did the same thing. I wouldn't say it will end your chances of reconcilliation. My WW/STBXW is still clinging on. I have told her that I don't want to be married to a woman who has a BF, I cannot live that way. If she decides she wants to get serious about us, let me know, until then I am done trying to save this marriage and am working toward a D. At this point I am still interested in saving this M IF she can show me she is serious and get rid of OM.

Confused,

I'm so sorry for your situation. I totally know where you are at. I never made it to Plan B and it looks like I'm heading right towards Plan D, too. My WH has had several A's and doesn't even know I am aware of the current one. I have finally decided enough is enough. I have even given an opportunity to 'fess up, but nada. I haven't confronted him yet, but it's coming. I need to get my ducks in a row first. I think my WH is suspecting something is up and has been nicer recently. He said he couldn't believe I was considering D and did I really believe the magic was gone? Isn't he showing that he feels that way by his actions.

Hang in there. I feel your pain (and anger!).

Just so tired of his lies, both to me and his OW. Finally he is out of the house and sanity can now return. I feel like celebrating.

1confusedBS- Sounds like your WH is holding the blame for the D over your head..See if you would just hang in there a bit - this ""might" go away..
He still wants his cake..your showing him you are taking the cake away and he no longer controls the cake...

This doesn't make him happy..he was happy having it all and having you "waiting in the wings"..

For us BS it is a hard decision to make - but it shows we have more strength, and dignity than they do - we will make a decison based on their actions and live with it..even if we don't truly want a D - we know we have no other recourse..

Good Luck

That is so true, as long as I played his game he kept saying "if we divorce, you can have everything" once I told him I'm going through with divorce and wouldn't back down to his threats and bullying, then it became "Now the gloves are off"

I'm scared <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />