My wife just left on Friday night, she said that she was waiting for me to finish school before she left. She just said that she did not want to be married anymore. <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" /> We had some discussions about her not being happy, but I thought we resolved them. I have never been physically or mentally abusive , never cheated, and I still love my wife. She says that she loves me but is not in love with me , and there is no spark. I have tried to have her come home, but to no effect. She states that she wants a divirce, can anyone help, Im going crazy.. Thanks

Jim C, welcome, and sorry you find yourself here.

Read the whole site. The information on the main site is MUCH more helpful than reading posts. Plus, most replies won't make too much sense unless you've read the site.

There is a section with letters and articles. "Why women leave men" may help you. Also, on Emotional Needs board, there is a welcome post. It has good information and helpful links.

There is HOPE. Lots of hope. After you read the site, post more about your situation. What was your wife unhappy about? What did you do to change the situation to make her happy? How about your side of the marriage? How old are you and your wife? Do you have children? All that stuff can help us give you better input.

I am 36 my wife will be turing 30 next month, and is really stressed about it??? She works in a very image orientated business and in the last year she has been going to the GYm and buying nicer clothes to look as good. She told me that she knew this was coming for 2 years, and we have been married for 4 as of 12-29, She replies hat we have nothing in common, and I think this is brought on by her friend who works in the same business with her husband. This friend seems to have all the advice in the world for everyone else.I am trying to salvage the marrage, she "wants to be friends" and has her mind made up.

Okay, so I'm guessing if you two have "nothing in common" you haven't been following the Rule of Time, spending at least 15 hours alone with each other and sharing Recreational pursuits.

Just in case, is it possible your wife has found someone else? It does change things a little bit.

Next, have you read the site? You want to meet as many of her needs -- as she will allow. If she just wants to be friends, that's what you need to be for now. This is part of Plan A. You meet her needs and ask nothing in return. Nada. Luckily, Plan A does not go on forever. Usually, Plan A works well with women, especially if there is no one else.

So, what was your marriage like? Can you paint a picture? That would be helpful.

I'm going to be away from the computer until about 6 EST. I know when my marriage really went south, I wanted lots of input, quickly. So, I want you to know I'll check back around that tiem.

Over the last two years I have been in school, and trying to fix our "new House", I have not been there totally for her, I admit it., and sometimes I yell at her, but I dont realize it. She says that I have control issues ( i Drive, I dint like her running at night ) ete. More for safety reasons. She claims that there is nobody else.

Okay, so maybe these could be some areas.
LoveBusters:
Angry Outbursts
Possibly Independed Behavior

Emotional Needs:
Not meeting conversational need
Not meeting Financial Support need in the way she wanted due to school.

I'm trying to put your wife's dissatisfaction in Marriage Builder terms because these terms and this level of specificity makes creating a plan to recover the marriage and romantic love easier.

Now, I was just guessing. You would be a better judge. Even if you don't want to post them, please take the time to write down what behaviors drained your account in your wife's love bank.

If you haven't stopped yelling, do so now. Do NOT yell even once. No slip ups. OK? You can't afford to lose any points.

What's the status of your relations today? Is she willing to talk to you? Will she see you? Has she filed for divorce? Has she seen a lawyer? Where is she living?

She has been at her parents house for the last 2 weeks, and we are scheduled to see a theripist tonight. We have seen each other almost every day for lunch etc, we have been getting along really good, but she says that nothing has changed and she still wants out. She has agreed to see the therepist but her approach is to see if she is crazy or not and get closure, while my approach is to try and save the marrage. The emotional rollercoster continues, and we are both look at tonight as the deadline to establish where we will go. Another thing came up was that she cannot be intamate with me , because she does not "love me", what does this mean????