This afternoon we were with my sister and her family. She said something interesting after an exchange with her 16yo son..."When they get older, the more you do to make them happy, the more you need to do."

Which was interesting...it implies that they are still selfish, self-centered beings. But it also caused me to think that no one can MAKE anyone happy.

Which gets into 12-step thinking.....My feelings are my feelings....your actions don't cause my feelings. I feel what I feel based on my personal reaction to your action.

Does that make sense?

Brain Dump of my Deep Thoughts...

"Know Thyself" Socrates

I stated "happiness comes from within" to my wife as she was leaving in the divorce to be with the OM. She just didn't get it.

The only person that you can control is yourself. The greatest and most rewarding journey is within.

"It is better to give than to receive." "If you want to be successful, make others a success." "What goes around, comes around." "Ye shall reap what ye sow." The pyramid is inverted; your "subordinates" are really on your shoulders if you're looking at things correctly. Teach them to fly and you will both be happy and successful.

Life is circular. There are cycles everywhere. The right way to be "selfish" is by giving to others at it will usually come right back around to your benefit in such a way that you could have never have accomplished on your own.

Be self-reliant. Be happy by yourself. With this, you really won't care what others believe and say to you. You have your life balanced. You have your head on straight.

Teach your children to make themselves happy. Give them the love and support to make their own lives independent of yours. Being leaned on by others in a time of great difficulty is part of life, but don't become a crutch. Be supportive, but be direct if it's being abused.

You must have your life together before you can share it with another. Failure to do so will abuse a relationship, suck the life right out of it, and it will end.

"Know Thyself." Know who you are. Know where you are going. Once you do this, things will become clearer. Be the rock in the storm, not the boat.

cinderella,

It makes perfect sense to me--

If you eat one hersey's kiss you want another one--
If you eat one oreo cookie you want another--
If you eat one reeses you want another--

(even my 12 year old understands that)

If you give them $10 they want $20--
If you give them $20 they want $40--
it's never enough to "make" them happy--

If you take them shopping--they want to go everyday--

My daughter says--per the book

If you give a mouse a cookie, they want a glass of milk to go with it--

If you give them a pancake, they want syrup--

So yes, it makes perfect sense--even to my 12 year old daughter-- <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />