It is easy to focus on all the bad stuff going on. It is just so ... there. Every day. Staring you down.

But if you try a little harder, you'll find the things about your life that are so much better now than they were. Focus on them. It changes your entire outlook on life.

Thanks guys...Thank you thank you thank you.

I have a praise. And this praise is gong to need some follow up prayers BIG TIME and or/good thoughts or remembrances...

The hospital that's imho, a country hospital compared to where I've worked, just gave me a call. Their recruiter called and said that they want me in immediately for an interview next monday...they'd like to have me in tomorrow, but their chief tech is out of town. And yes, this time I would NOT be chief tech, but they said "there is room for promotion you'd find here". Said that it's a family oriented department and that everybody helps each other out, that they may be high performance jobs, but that they keep their stress down low (teamwork) and that everybody helps each other out if there's a crisis (like I am a stranger to that) or family issues arise, or you need a vacation. She then said "well, with your experience I can tell you that base pay is x per hour and it goes all the way up to x per hour. You should be nearing the top of the scale but we will always keep reassessing our scale to make sure we KEEP our specialized staff". And then she told me that for signing for one year there'd be a 2k bonus. For 18 months, 3k. And so on. Two years equals 5k. I am in shock! But then she said that there are other bells and whistles too...NO holidays, NO saturdays, light emergency call and I can tailor it to my schedule, and the benefits are about 100 percent better. In fact, I would actually make MORE working at this job rather than at the high paced/low benefits/stress thru the roof cardiac practice. Schedule would be 7-330 and my son's school is only 15-20 min away vs. an hour as before. Plus if there's an emergency at school (gets sick, whatever) I am there. And I'd be close for all school activities and could actually go to parent/student breakfasts if I schedule them in advance...It would be sooo much better.

Now don't forget that I am still in selling mode. Nothing is etched in stone. Nothing is. Way that is life. But she was very very nice and said as we were ending our conversation 10 minutes ago, "I have to say...this sounds like a perfect fit for the both of us."

Cindy, I will email you...and for those who wanna email me, you can at uofmtigerrr@aol.com That's my secondary email account. I don't use it often, but that is a way we can initially talk privately. Thank you and I will shout at you in a bit ok?

HighFlight: See email addy above. I look forward to finally having a GA MB buddy! Cool. My xbf lives up 75. Are you in Marietta or Kennesaw? Just wondering. Thank you for your willingness to help. Actually Emory does have an opening, but they're so far out and I am trying to keep things at least no further than perimeter area and back up due to traffic (our lovely ATL curse). Thank you and I may need your help...but hopefully this will work out quietly and quickly. I'll let you know.

George: Yes, it's like a series of tests sometimes. That's how I see it. I sometimes stop and say "now did I watch this on lifetime tv or did I used to be a stay at home soccer mom living in a mansion with servants and was once laughed at by the other desperate housewives in my golf course gated subdivision b/c I was the only one who did NOT have a prada, dooney, or vuitton handbag? Or did I just see that in the movie, Stepford Wives?" Yep in another lifetime that was me. Thank you. And yes, our faith will allow us to ride the wave...that's how I say it. I am just gonna ride the wave. Panic mode hasn't hit just yet. But I get your phobia about the phone. My x left my credit in shambles and I am quite possibly filing for bankruptcy due to some things that will be unable to be removed, that were results of his direct actions and selfishness. There should be laws that better protect spouses when the other spouse deliberately runs amuck with family funds, credit cards, cars, and the like. I myself, am just trying to focus on walking out of this dark tunnel. I think what God's trying to do, albeit painfully, is get me to simplify my life. And that job change would do it.

XPrincessButters: Thank you friend. And yes, life is better than it was before, but it is still so darn stressful when you think it's just us there doing all this. Nobody to sit beside you and pat you on the back when your job just crashes down. Nobody there to cook dinner for you and rub your feet when you've had a hard day...hey! Wait a minute...my lousy xh never did that. ha ha. I am trying to remain positive. Note the operative word here is "trying".

Am getting ready to fax my cv over to a large cardiac group near perimeter area. My buddy, the clinical director, called me today w/the lead. He is sooo wonderful. And he's a great and trusted friend. Again, this whole thing is just being done kinda quiet & on the low down.

Have not heard a word from xbf. I wonder what he's been told? But as a MB'er told me last night, not to worry about that. This will truly show his character. And in a strange turn of events, swissboy called 3x last night. He has actually been compassionate and sweet still. He is all business and says that "well sometimes these things just don't work out". And then he said "well you shouldn't need to worry about all of this for too terribly long. I am getting my crap together personally and let's leave it at that." He then told me that he'd bought me some things for a late christmas in NY. He is coming back this weekend some time and said he is wanting to indeed begin spending time, should I approve, around my son as well. It's funny, but I always thought the xbf would be there for me as friend at least. He may still be, but I don't get how he could be quiet and sit back after this has happened...but I can't think of this now.

Please keep on praying. I have a few months I can be down.

Now I need an opinion. If I do get rehired rather quickly, this was suggested by one of my best friends back home (who does what I do) and she thinks I should "take a few weeks off and relax...this is a huge shock, and you can afford 2-3 extra weeks off right now. You need to travel with your son, and come home and see us and your family." Is this something I should consider if things work out rather quickly (I mean within 2-3 weeks I get signed?) One other buddy of mine thinks I will be signed by next week.

My head is positively aching now.

This morning it was funny. Dropped son off at school. Went grocery shopping and saw the other sahm's there. I felt wierd. Then I got depressed. Then I counted my coupons and got a bit giddy. Then the thought of being able to cook dinner for my son each night this week made me very happy. Got hit on by a balding guy and the bread delivery man at the grocery. Then on the way out, the damn migraine started.

So I am here, networking and emailing, and fighting off the worst damn stress induced migraine.

Keep on praying friends.

I knew you'd find something quickly. And much better too.

Definitely take time off if they will allow it.
Decompress. I'm sure you can find something to do around the house, or visit friends.
Perhaps you can bring DS up to visit NYC.

Newly--love your sig line btw..and thank you. So you vote for decompression as well? I think deep down it is a good thing. I am going to try to press for it. See if I can have at least 3 weeks off to just well...be. Something I haven't done in years.

I have a little and could use the sign on bonus to have a little vacation w/son. Take him to either disney or bahamas or something. NYC would be great, but he's so little. He's just six. He wants to see Sea World really bad. But we love atlantis and the discovery channel kids' camp. I could take a four day trip with him. And his school would probably excuse time with a discovery camp. Could be cool...again, it's daydreaming and not at all something set or etched in stone.

Again? Anybody else? Do I take a few weeks off after signing to get over the stress of well..the crapola that is my life? Would you? I can do this easily without it being financially uncomfortable right now.

Migraine is a bit better. Ate a salad. Drank some unsweetened iced tea (caffeine helps a bad migraine btw..) Am going to go to the greenbelt for a run (chilly but beautiful outside) and get a cup of joe on the way so that second shot of caffeine combined with the tylenols will do the trick. Then to do more housework after I pick up son. Am thinking of taking off to chattanooga for the day on saturday and take him to aquarium...we are members there and I am going to check online about activities for kids this saturday. He wants to be a vet as some of you know...and I'm here to support him 100 percent.

Oh, incidentally, the hospital also will allow for me reimbursement for tuition should I try to go after a master's...or beyond. That is cool. Could take up some of my time for sure. Could do that on weeks I don't have my son. But then again, I do need to when I work thru this crud, this stress, to focus again on the GETTING A LIFE PART.

Got a call again from swiss. He's doing well. And a date offer from cute guy who lives nearby (starbucks man). I just feel kinda dead from the neck down. Darn survival instinct. These last three years have hewn me into a survival of the fittest poster child. I go into crisis mode, find avenue to solve crisis asap, then I just feel literally dead...nothing. Then I return to being me again. And I don't get this. I guess it is some sort of self presevation instinct...when I found out about the contract being lost, first thing I felt was "what about my boy?" I couldn't bear it if I couldn't support my son. Isn't it funny? When we become parents our urge to protect them is far greater than to protect ourselves.

Keep praying. Pray hard that this little venture works out. I want peace of mind and serenity. And maybe a teeny bit more happiness?

Hi Peachy,

Thanks for your previous response...I don't really belong on D/D as things are looking up for my M, but I have followed your story since you were "Not Peachy"...

My best friend used to work in management (Compliance Officer) in the same pressure cooker I call a medical practice. Her New Year's resolution last year was to lower her stress level. So...she found herself a job in a hospital
7 min. from home (vs. 45 min) working with really NICE people...and guess what..stress gone! My point is that the hospital job, while probably not glamorous and probably a slower pace sounds like it would allow you to focus on what's really important...your son and your sanity.

Good luck...although it sounds like you have enough irons in the fire to have your pick of opportunities.

UFA

Feeling down again. Went to zzzz kinda early last night. Still forcing myself to do l ittle stuff like housework. I know I am probably a bit depressed right now and can see it. It is quite the shock.

Nothing else and I expect I won't hear from the others I have sent resumes out to until early next week.

I am going to get going here and actually take a bubble bath in a bit. Then go on a vacuum and mopping spree downstairs. It needs it!

I got asked out 2x this weekend. But I don't feel like having a date when my son is here. I know i know...not very proactive when you're single, but now I feel like poo. literally poo.

Second day and nothing from xbf. I am wondering what they are saying about me and it is hurting alot. Can only imagine. In a wierd way, this will let me see how he is as a person. If he was ever really there for me or not. When somebody leaves the practice for whatever reason, they are a bit strange about things...first they change the passcodes on the doors immediately. Then they cut off all communication with the person who leaves. I don't get that. Very wierd. I am very good friends with my old co workers. Ones from home. Like and us vs. them mentality and it's wierd.

But I am fine. I watched a bit of ER this morning and the good old days when I worked at the large regional hospital back home in TN all came back to me. Sure, I was not top dog there, but was head of policies and procedures for a very large department and only a little while outta school. It was fun, made some good friends, and knew without a doubt I made a difference. It was about helping very sick people rather than racing against a clock to see how many procedures (dollars) you could bring in a day like i've been doing for last 3 years here. Again, I mightr not get the job at the regional hospital, but my closest buddies who do what I do back home are betting for sure that monday morning at my 9 am appt., that a contract is shoved across the table at me. They said the dead giveaway was when the recruiter said yesterday to me "well we can negotiate the sign on bonus. To keep you for one year, we'll hand you 2k..and from there it only goes up." For 2 years she said 5k". My buddies say that if they're already talking negotiations about your bonus, then you're just going to be put thru the usual stuff...talk about your experience, what and why are you seeking this job, why do you want outta fast paced clinics and here? I know without a doubt what I will say. I desire a job that I can grow with. A job which will challenge me professionally and also compliment my family life as it is not far from my son's school. A job that is stable and will briefly mention that I am not wanting to do contract work anytime soon.

I remember the good old days. Would go to work with 2 of my best friends. Start the day with a good cup of coffee sitting beside my computers and yea, even in that few years back, would pop in a cd (usually rem, harry connick, something cool and not heavey, maybe Jimmy Buffet) and go to work. See my patients. Do the different exams (I did over 53 different exams). Go to lunch with my friends. And sometimes remember not being that busy at all. Then we'd just relax and kick out feet up in the reading room and talk. And then sometimes we'd be so busy it was not funny. Unlike the cardiac clinic, there were some life and death issues on the table each day. And sometimes you know that you are never too tired or weary or stressed out to not show compassion to somebody that might not live to see tomorrow. That's why I loved my job then. And I was the best person imho, that I could be back then. Maybe this would be the best thing.

When life is too stressful, go back to where you started. I remember being a new grad and driving 40 min. to get to that hospital. In TN that was a HUGE commute. Now my skills are much much sharper. Am going to sit this fall for the cardiac specialty exam..I am even toying with idea (if I go to work at this hospital) doing some work towards a master's when son is at his dad's. Maybe. I asked my buddies about that and they said to just have that one good year first. Or wait just six months of having nothing but good.

Funny, but my friends back home (one's a PA like the xbf) said that they just want me to get that darn rem cd (eponymous) and go to work and have my cup of coffee each day and smile for once. No more rushing around, trying to put in iv's with the speed of a nascar driver. And they are really not happy at lack of communication with the xbf. My buddy Greg who is one also, said it's almost "unforgiveable" if he doesn't phone within a week. He said if it were him, he'd give him one week. If not, then never take his calls ever again. They reminded me also that "good friends are people you trust. You should trust your team you work with. You can't save or help people if your team is weak." Then they also said that "remember when all of us went to see the Rolling Stones?" That was a team. And they also said how they couldn't quite find the words to say that they hated my xh. That they were rather quiet at my wedding. That they wanted to support me when all the three foot flower arrangements would arrive at work or when he'd show up all shiny and sales nice in his suits..just too flashy and slick for them. They also said that he was just "too much" and predicted doom from it. They said they were the ones who made the DJ play "End of the World" by rem at my wedding reception...Then they said that friends are people who go to the hospital, sit in the waiting room waiting on news of their friend (me) who was in emergency surgery and in pretty bad shape as they waited on the surgeon to tell them I'd make it and how the baby (my son was). They did that and it was 3 years after I had quit. And yes, my friends, Missy, Barbara, Greg, Michael (a doctor), and Cathy all went to dinner with me after I took my son, loaded up my suv 3 years ago in december and drove back home after I was beaten by my xh.

I know I will probably get a call from 2 other practices either today or monday.

Please keep praying. Being depressed is really sitting in. It was funny. Greg said to me that "I can only imagine...You are sitting there wearing sweats, and in defiance you will NOT put on makeup, dress cute, or wash your hair. You are the world's goofiest depressed person." Yep. I am going to wash my hair today though. Am going to go the full monty and have bubble bath, condition hair, wear some little bit of makeup, and not be all the social recluse as I am so trying to be right now.

I do know I am depressed, but it is purely situational. Not lingering though. And as per my buddy's request, as I am here writing and checking my emails (job stuff), I have put in eponymous on my cd player on my computer and am thinking about how things could be easy again.

God I feel like I still cannot breathe easy.

I really miss my friends.

And I am thankful for you guys here. Really thankful.

Justpeachy-

I'm so sorry to hear about your situation. I also had a negative experience on the job, and I know the bitterness can linger.

But I just read a good article about the famous people who lost their jobs and bounced back. Although you didn't "lose" your job, per se, it might be a good and uplifting read.

If you want to read it, let me now. I'll forward it.

Too

Thanks T.I. Would like a positive read ok?

Although you didn't get fired, the principles here may still apply:

Successful people get fired all the time, make the best of it

Jeffrey Gitomer
Got fired? You're in luck! You're now in the ranks of some of the world's most successful people. Even better, you're exactly where they were when they started on their success path.


You have now joined the ranks of such failures as Joe Torre (the Yankee), Bernie Marcus (the Home Depot), Tom Stemberg (the Staple), Larry King (the interviewer), Mannie Jackson (the Harlem Globetrotter), Michael Bloomberg (the New York mayor), and even Harvey Mackay (the author).

Harvey Mackay has done it again. America's most prolific writer on success has written about failure

It's all in Harvey Mackay's new book, "We Got Fired! ... And It's The Best Thing That Happened To Us." The book is not about people getting fired -- it's about their response to getting fired. How they took the cards they were dealt, and turned them into a winning hand.

Here are some of ideas Mackay offers:

Unless you work in demolition, don't burn bridges.
There aren't many rules for success that work.
The opportunity for success lies within the person, not the job.
Success is putting your "knows" to the grindstone.
Don't waste your time in bitterness. Visualize acceptance.
If you work for someone, you are always in jeopardy of getting the axe. Especially if you think, "this place can't make it without me." You will likely be the first to go.

The key to getting fired is about getting self-inspired instead of self-defeated. And in the end, it's about energy conversion -- taking the negative energy of getting fired, and converting it to positive energy of determination and success.

Harvey Mackay's new book is less about getting fired than about getting fired up.

Jeffrey Gitomer is the author of The Sales Bible and The Little Red Book of Selling. He can be reached at 704-333-1112 or salesman@gitomer.com.

hi,
nobody has given you an answer/opinion to your question.

YES YES YES take a few weeks for yourself. You feel awful now with nothing to do, but when you have a kick butt job to look forward to, those weeks will be bliss and you will definitely enjoy them.

I don't have much experience with the hiring thing, as I"m a teacher and there's no such thing as signing bonus' or negotiating anyting, but in my opinion, if they are going that in depth with you, describing what it would be like to work there, they sound most interested in you.

Good luck!

CM

JPeachy ~ I sent ya an email...did it get there?


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High Flight