Yup...January 18th...one year since the last time I had SF.

I have a LONG way to go to reach some other accomplishments on here (and I truly hope I DON'T reach them! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> ).

So do I celebrate this fact, mourn it, or just eat a lot of fattening pasteries to take my mind off the fact?

Actually, since the XH and I had really slipped over the years and he of little sex drive (until he met the young babe) only was interested about once every 3-4 months, so it's not quite the adjustment that some of you probably experienced.

It's not bad day-to-day, but when I realize I could maintain this "status" for the rest of my life (because LL is NOT going to have SF outside of a marriage going forward), it's darned overwhelming!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

Anyway, just thought I'd share my, uh...accomplishment??

LL

I hear ya. That's one of the reasons I allowed myself to still be with my WS even though he's living with his gf. - no sex outside of marriage. Too bad my husband can't think the same way huh?

(It's been since b4 new years for what it's worth.)

* Ducks for fear of flying pastries *

Hang in there! God knows you desire a hubby, me too. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> Just keep prayin' to get through it & maybe go to the Y.

The workout lets off some steam and may help. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Lordslady,

I have a suggestion, and you may take it or leave it. I suggest that you make January 18th your UNNIVERSARY. On your UNNIVERSARY you sort of celebrate your freedom, so for example you might:

Just this once, buy yourself a full-blown, full-price Starbucks Extra Grande with Whip Cream and Chocolate BECAUSE YOU LIKE IT!

Have a chocolate covered, chocolate donut BECAUSE YOU LIKE IT. Leave the crumbs on your shirt, because it doesn't bother you, it only used to bother him! Heehee.

Go out the Red Lobster for lunch because you like fish and he never did.

When you get home from work, kick off your shoes and leave them in the middle of the floor, because you can do that without being ridiculed!

Make ice cream and chocolate cake for dinner--it has eggs, flour and milk! The major food groups!

Rent a goofy, girly chick-flick that YOU like that NO ONE ELSE DOES and watch it shamelessly in a pair of comfy, warm pj pants and a t-shirt, because you can be WARM AND COZY instead of having to try to impress someone!

Dye your hair a slightly different color just to try something different and slightly daring.

Go bunge jumping and be amazed at how strong, courageous and fearless you are (at your advanced age)!

Buy a color book and a box of 64 crayons and COLOR because you always liked coloring when you were a kid!! (I have a BARBI colorbook, myself).


You see, LL, this day is all about you. Not selfishness "you" but freedom "you". You now get to do all those things that you sort of gave up or slowly let go of to accomodate the unhealthy marriage and unhealthy spouse. You are completely FREE to dance like no one's looking because NO ONE IS!! It's wonderful! Celebrate. You are free, you are beautiful, you are alive, you are lovely and you are loved!


CJ

I do the unniversary thing too.

Yep.

Go bonzo. Get the starbucks. Get the manicure. Get a massage from a guy named Sven at the local dayspa. Send yourself flowers. At work.

I dont know how I will do the unniversary this year. No idea. But I will probably stop each year less and less thinking as much as I did about my marriage to a man who WAS NOT WORTHY OF ME.

Enjoy YOUR day.

It is YOUR day. He lost the rights to celebrate it with you. That's the unniversary.

LL,

I would celebrate much like the other's have suggested only after doing some other things FIRST!

I know you remember when the children of Israel had a major victory or experienced a great miracle, they built an altar as a memorial.

I would recommend going and getting an house plant that "should" survive almost an neglect. Let this plant serve as your "altar of memorial". Every time you look at it you will be reminded of how God has delivered you from the past. If He was with you then He will be with you going forward.

I commend you for waiting for SF until the time is right. No need to jump back into the frying pan! I haven't had SF since June myself and it's not really new to me either. The prospect of waiting years for SF is a bit daunting, but God will enable US to find genuine fulfillment until the right time comes.

I would recommend eating and doing what you desire that brings joy. Don't over do it and stuff yourself or over indulge. You want the memory of this day to serve as a turning point.

May God fill you with joy, peace and contentment today.

Titleist

Okay, guys...slight misunderstanding, maybe. Today is the Unniversary of the last time I had SF with my XH. ONE WHOLE YEAR!!

Today is not my wedding anniversary.

However....January 12th was that day (it would have been our 20th). Somehow I got through most of the day without even realizing what the calendar date was, I escaped most of the main it brought.

-----------------------------------------------
But here's my idea: Since January 12th is my wedding UNniversary and January 18th is my no-SF UNniversary, perhaps I should just on a date between the two (Jan 15th) and celebrate both that day.

(Or then again, I could celebrate BOTH dates and have twice the pastries!!)

I, of course, say this all sarcastically as both dates have come with their share of pain. The 12th being far more painful (once I realized the date) than this day. I'm just trying not to focus on it or dwell on what was or what could have been, and also trying not to think of what might be (me...an old single woman...never to remarry...never to ever experience the joys of SF ever again. A VERY SCARY THOUGHT!)

LL

Okay, I've had two pastries today...one this morning and one tonight. So I'll consider it one for each of my "special days". (But then I'll have another tomorrow because there are still a couple left!)

But I took the advice of the post suggesting I get a plant that was hard to kill. Now believe me--I can kill ANY plant. I could probably kill a silk one!!

But this one looked fairly hardy. It's a Sago Palm.

Here's what the care card says (paraphrased):

Water - water regularly, allowing soil to dry out. Prefers dry conditions (I can do that!).

Temperature - Tolerates 30-110 degrees F. (I can do that, too!!)

Continuing Care - Excellent container plant. Extremely long-lived. (Yay!!) Slow growing to 10' tall. (Right now it's about 8" tall so it's got a ways to go).

So we'll see just how much it really can tolerate and if it's still around next year to remind me that God-willing, I made it another year.

(Next I think I'm going to do CJ's suggestion of buying a coloring book and 64 crayons. That just sounds fun. I haven't colored in FOREVER!)

LL

LOL Make sure you get a tough girl coloring book like princess warrior or something to remind you how tough you are and you will survive!

Have a great day

Skip the pastries, youll regret it when the right man comes along

SMILES!!!