Today was the first time I've really had to talk to my daughter since her overnighter with XH on Saturday. Among other things (like finding out that he's text-messaged his way back into her good graces)...

She tells me that the happy couple told her that XH proposed to OW at EuroDisney!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

Couldn't he have picked somewhere else...ANYWHERE ELSE...just not a Disney theme park!???!? <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" /> For crying out loud, he had the Eiffel Tower, Notre Dame, and a host of other unique places during their week there. Did it really have to be Disney?????????

Disney is MY happy place! It's never been his. Nothing on earth makes me happier. I'm like a kid in a candy store. Could visit Disney World multiple times a year and never tire of it.

(Okay, so he proposed in Europe and not in Florida...but it still taints the entire Disney experience.)

If I didn't know better, I'd almost think he did it there just to get one really great knife stab in at me, because he always hated it when I drug him to Disney World for vacation. He could never see my attraction.

(Need vomiting icon...)

LL

Ok. Disney seems to be the place for WS to do the deeds.

I went to Disney on my honeymoon with darth. We stayed at yacht club in a suite and was great. What did the bum do?

1)took former/present ow monkeyho to disney with son (lied to me about taking ow ..said it was boys' trip)and stayed at SAME HOTEL WITH HER.
2)went on trip immediately before wedding with family values to Disney.

I call it...the prostitution of my happy place. In fact, i have a trigger about it. I see any commercial for Disney and I get the willies. Have ever since. I have no desire to ever go back. I will however, frequent universal, sea world, and the like. There are OTHER happy places for us...so many we cannot begin to name.

Where better than a fantasyland...a place with a part of it called fantasyland than somewhere you should take a homewrecker on a vacay? It's all fake. Nothing's real there. Fake buildings. Fake castles. Fake people in big cartoon character suits. You are paying big bucks for a fantasy place that has endorphin kicking thrill rides.

Now if that doesn't sound like the perfect place for affair partners to go then what does?

I'd say go to a dude ranch. Why? No fantasy there. And there's dudes. They stay on ranches. Or a beach. Fun, excitement, and again not much fantasy there.

Heck. Even that being said, go to the other places..as for me, the trip to disney on my honeymoon in retrospect, was not romantic. It was not something that made me feel well...desire for the guy. I wanted to wear mouse ears and jump and skip all over the place. Not exactly a place where I could get my groove on. Take heart in that ok?

LL,

That's amazing... I love Disney too. I beleive it is "The Happiest Place On Earth". My wife and I honeymooned at Disneyland in LA.

To me it shows what a weasel he really is. To think of all of the nice little cafe's he could used. Don't worry yourself over a guy who has no sense of the romantic.

Have you ever been to Disneyland in LA? Maybe you could use the west coast as your exclusive happy place.

Titleist

Yes, actually Disneyland LA was the first "Disney" place I ever went. Was there several times growing up and have been back a couple times since being an adult. It's nice, and the weather is to die for, but once I went to DisneyWorld in Florida, I was hooked. Go there, stay on-site, park your car once and never leave the place for days. Totally surrounded by the Disney experience (okay, and lots of heat and humidity, too, in the summer.)

I love to travel. Never been outside of the US yet, and have SO many places I'd love to see here. I'm a nature-lover. I love some of the national parks in the west.

Overall, I'm not a huge "theme park" person. I have no desire to go to Universal (been there years ago), Sea World, etc. It's not the "thrill" I need.

It's the experience--and Disney does it the best.

So I AM really ticked that he proposed to her there, AND that they had to bring that up to my daughter (probably knowing it'd get back to me).

LL

I bet where he proposed is not the real issue.

I bet the real issue is that he proposed. You'd probably be mad no matter where he did it. And you are truly entitled to your feelings.

The next time you go to Disneyworld, remember that it wasn't that anything bad happened to you there. You will still be safe there. Find a new joy. It can still be your happy place.

Where did x and his wife go on their honeymoon? The same place we had been twice. I took the children there once. Williamsburg, VA. I love it there. Have been there in the winter, early spring, summer, about 4 or 5 times and I could still go again and again.

Besides, if I had never taken him there, he wouldn't know how cool it was. He got the thrill of marrying down so he could teach her all the cool things I had taught him.

The first step in the 12 steps....we admitted we were powerless.

LL,

you have to practice not assuming ownership over places that you have visited. that's awfully controlling, don't you think? taking someone else's stuff personally?

Can one really possess a place like disney as theirs, over someone else's?

i think we need to practice letting go, and practice respecting other people's decisions and motives as theirs, and their alone, not with any attempt to hurt you or anyone else. . .

practice meditating, yoga, anything that relaxes your mind, and practices control over your self, and exclusion of other's influences. . . time to practice putting the past behind you, and owning your destiny, not anyone else's destiny.

wiftty

What I was trying to say was, you've got to let this one go. Don't give anyone power to ruin a place you love. Just because he had some big personal event occur at one of those parks - don't think it has anything to do with you. If you loved it before you went there with him, love it still.

You are powerless in his choices. Don't give him power over yours.

LL - I hear ya dear! That sux. I think men do those things because they know it would've made US happy so maybe it makes ALL women happy.

I have a friend who used to always ask her husband to take her dancing & dance lessons. He never did. Once he was with the OW though.......

they signed up for dancing lessons.


And you know my situation. My husband has a shot of his girlfriend Cheryl kissing him in his band's new music video. CRUEL! He knows that a long time before I had always wanted to be the "girl in the video." (esteem builder)

(Not that I'm for this current lineup he's in that put him and Cheryl together in the first place and doesn't glorify GOD in any way.)

And he spent a current new total of almost $500 in 2 weeks on her for dinners, lingerie, and flowers, which he never did with me.
AND ONE DINNER AND THE $115.90 VICTORIA'S SECRET PURCHASE WERE ON OUR 12TH WEDDING ANNIVERSARY.

So I hear ya. I'll pray that the hurt subsides with this situation. I know it hurts.

Do you think if you went with some girlfriends and just had a lot of fun it would help make new memories of Disney and sort of cancel out the fact that he was totally insensitive about it?

Justpeachy - "monkeyho" I had to laugh.

I use "sleazecow" myself <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Love Disney as the place where another woman took an unfaithful and alcoholic husband off your hands and started your husband down the path of understanding what he put you through when she betrays him.

Cherished

Cinderella--

Admittedly, the fact that he DID propose was painful, though I was fairly sure he had once I saw the charge for the jewelry on our joint credit card that he was to have closed as a part of the DV. I just feel like he did it, and I wouldn't doubt she "hinted strongly" for it at a Disney park just to get another jab in at me (for whatever reason it is that they feel compelled to keep jabbing me in the first place.

But my daughter told me before they even went to Paris that OW told her they were going to Disney and a comment was made by the happy couple about how angry that would make me because of my love for the place.

Soooo...I have said nothing to my daughter about this little tidbit of news bothering me, thus it will never get back to the happy couple that it does. At least they don't have the joy of having proof of my unhappiness over it.

As for going and enjoying it again, maybe someday. The kids and I spent a week there in June by ourselves, because he had already moved out months earlier. That was tough because I knew everywhere I went I'd have triggers of all our trips there together. But I did it, and I survived, and I actually had fun (and very few tears shed overall).

Wiftty--

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">you have to practice not assuming ownership over places that you have visited. that's awfully controlling, don't you think? </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">What?? I don't hold exclusive rights to Disney???!? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> When did that happen?? It's MY happy place!!! Mine...mine..mine....all mine!!

(Okay, I get your point. Don't like it--but I get it.)

But I still wonder if there was a bit of premediation with regard to where he proposed and why he did it there.

Tess--

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I think men do those things because they know it would've made US happy so maybe it makes ALL women happy. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I could try really hard to believe that could be the reason...

Cherished--

If I could quit having feelings for the darned guy, yours would be the most practical option to choose by far. It is true (at least the first part), and I have a hard time believing that once this guy whose kidneys (and probably liver) are none too great right now is worn out by all the partying and fast living, the gal who is almost 14 years his junior is still going to be full of life and is going to leave his used-up, tired-out self for someone younger and more energetic.

Sadly enough, I'll feel sorry for him when/if that happens, just like I feel sorry for him now, destroying himself like he is.

LL

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">What?? I don't hold exclusive rights to Disney???!? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> When did that happen?? It's MY happy place!!! Mine...mine..mine....all mine!!</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">He hehe <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> I was picturing a little daffy duck with his pearl as I was reading your post. MINE MINE ALL MINE!
Too funny.

I'm glad you were able to go and enjoy yourself somewhat.

I hear ya on the not giving them satisfaction.

Even though the kiss in the video kills me - to him I said "That kiss in the video? That was supposed to hurt me?"
Even though really it's still like a turning knife in my heart.

lordslady,

Disney can still be your happy place, whY? because no one owns it, its there, for everyone to enjoy. . .

what i am encouraging is letting go of the past, and starting a new life of less emotional involvement with the X.

that place will take time, but to get to where you do care what he does, where he goes, even if he goes to the same place right before you, that act should mean nothing, just life if i went there before you. . .nothing. .. .

that's part of the healing process, and the letting go process, otherwise, you are just holding on for negative attention and sympathy!

try letting go, he van go anywhere he wants, with whomever. .. its a bit more freeing than constantly obsessing. . .

wiftty

Disney is the place for make believe...
Maybe he is making believe he can do it right this time....


On second thought when she finds out that is where you dragged his but all the time, your speacial place....


Your turn to make believe what she is going to do to him.


See Disney is STILL your happy place :-D

LordsLady,

I have to admit that your ex is a big time jerk. There is no doubt about that.

[Geting out 2x4]

My question for you is this: Why are you continuing to let him pull your strings?

Your ex is like mine, disloyal, selfish, cruel and GONE.

Accept it and go on with your life. Remember: Living Well is the Best Revenge.