OH, OH, OH,

HOW CAN HE HURT ME LIKE THIS ON PURPOSE?

I WATCHED THEIR NEW VIDEO TONIGHT ON THEIR WEBSITE AND TOWARD THE END THEY PUT IN A SHOT OF HER KISSING HIM!

I KNOW THEY PUT THAT IN THERE JUST TO UPSET ME.

Ouch! My reaction probably would have been to throw something at the computer screen. It's not the thing to do though.

Don't let him know it got to you. Just like I'm not even going to acknowledge that I know that my XH proposed to icky OW at EuroDisney, just because he knows Disney is my most favorite place on earth and I'm sure part of why they told my daughter where the proposal happened was so that it would get back to me.

Try and think about other things. Remember, he's the stupid one, not you.

And don't go to that website anymore!

LL

Oh, Lord'slady, THIS HURTS ME MORE DEEPLY THAN I EVER THOUGHT IT COULD.

It's one thing to know they're sleeping together, but to SEE WITH MY OWN EYES her kissing him in his band's music video? That takes the cake. That will forever be there. No matter how much time goes by - that will always be on film.

I feel like my entire life has fallen apart.

He's nickel and diming every asset.

Charging me for the floor jacks holding up the floor?

But he can spend $400 in 2 weeks on her for flowers, lingerie, and dinners??

I thought it said somewhere that God wouldn't give us more than we could handle?

Or is that a man made saying?

Because truly.... I cannot handle this!

Tess,

Interestingly enough, our sermon Sunday sort of touched on this, and I still have the notes.

See 1 Corinthians 10:13: "No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it."

God is there for you. I think when we're weak, we need stronger people to remind us of this. I have really weak days when I need to be reminded, too. That's why we all need each other on here.

Another one for you - James 1:2-4: "Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish it's work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything."

And finally, a devotional quote I found:

"Temptation and testing (or trial) are two sides of the same coin. Satan uses an occasion or person to tempt us to fail; God uses the same to try us and make us stronger. See Matthew 4:1 and the book of Job for examples." (Ruth Bell Graham)

That said, I can't imagine seeing my now XH kiss another woman. I know it would hurt like searing fire.

But I will also tell you that on my DD's 15th birthday in August, my then WH was at our house for the celebration and was showing off his new camera cell phone to everyone. As he goes to show it to me, I see that the background on the phone is a naked breast shot of the OW. He tried to deny it, but I saw the 4-leaf clover tattoo on her chest that matches his.

Yes, I can still picture it like it was yesterday. But it doesn't hurt nearly as bad now.

Hang in there. You really will be okay. You will find that you are stronger than you think you are.

LL

Tess, I walked in on my WH and MOW naked in the bathtub smoking pot. That was about 4 years ago. When they saw me, he jumped out of the tub, threw on his clothes, ran outside, and jumped in his truck. MOW struggled into her tee shirt while running after him screaming for him to wait for her. She ran outside into the snow and threw herself in the back of his truck with only a tee shirt on. A male friend of ours was with me and neither of us could believe our eyes. She's a hefty girl, to put it mildly, and we just stood there dumbfounded as she flopped herself over the side and into the bed of the pick-up. At the time I was so blown away, I went emotionally numb for hours. I couldn't even express how hurt and angry I was that he'd do this to me.

That was four years ago and I've recovered enough that it actually seems comical to me now. I know it's different than seeing your H kissing GF in video. But, the pain does diminish with time.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by TessW.:
<strong> Oh, Lord'slady, THIS HURTS ME MORE DEEPLY THAN I EVER THOUGHT IT COULD.

It's one thing to know they're sleeping together, but to SEE WITH MY OWN EYES her kissing him in his band's music video? That takes the cake. That will forever be there. No matter how much time goes by - that will always be on film.

I feel like my entire life has fallen apart.

He's nickel and diming every asset.

Charging me for the floor jacks holding up the floor?

But he can spend $400 in 2 weeks on her for flowers, lingerie, and dinners??

I thought it said somewhere that God wouldn't give us more than we could handle?

Or is that a man made saying?

Because truly.... I cannot handle this! </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Tess,

Yes it is terrible and it is a long painful experience but once you survive it you can be better for it. The saying "what doesn't kill you, makes you stronger" is soooo true.

Hang in there and be strong and focus on getting yourself through this. It will take time but things will be better on the other side, just don't lose sight of who you are!

All the best,

Miker