Hi everyone. I am new to this site and hope to get some advice and help. My husband and I have been togethr for 6 years and married for almost 3. I have some big trust issues. For years I have accused him of cheating although I haven't had any reson to believe he would do something. In my mind I don't really think he would but I say it anyways. I have said it for years. When he wants to do anythings with his friends I would say no. About a year ago I finally gave in and said he could go out for a few hours with some guys at work and asked him to be home at 10pm. He didn't show up until 9am the next morning and didn't call me and didn't answer his cell phone. He said he just didn't get that much time with his friends and wanted to get as much in. After that I really didn't want him to do anything. For about a year he hardly ever got to go out. We got into an argument a couple of weeks ago and he left and didn't come home until 3:30am. I was mad and made some posts on another site. When I got the responses I realized that I was the one that was wrong. I realized that I basically pushed him away and although he shouldn't have stayed out that long he was just to tired to try. I decided to change myself. I didn't want to be that kind of person and the changes I made were amazing and I actually felt better about myself. I gave my husband a lot more freedom but we felt more disconnected then ever. We had a long talk last night. We didn't argue we just talk. He said that although he cared for me he didn't love me and he hasn't loved me for some time. He didn't want to hurt me. He said he noticed the change in me but felt it was fake. After I told him why I change (being slapped in the face with the truth by people outside the marriage) he said he was now even more confussed because he thought I was faking the change and now he knows that I wasn't. He says he is willing to give it a try but doesn't know if he can fall back in love with me. I don't know what to do. I love him and don't want to let go after I have seen the truth about myself and am changing. I however don't want to be with him if doesn't love me. How am I suppose to go to him and cuddle with him and hug him when he doesn't feel anything but how is he going to reconnect with me if I don't do some of those things. My heart is so broken I don't know what to do. I don't want my marriage to end. I thought about conciling but can't really afford it. I really don't know what kind of advice I am expecting but anything you have would be appriciated. Thank you.

sweetpea,

follow the links on General welcome and follow the links on Basic concept.

Learn as much as you can about MB ... avoid LBs and guess his ENs. Don't talk about R with him.

Come back here again for more questions.

hang in there -rh-

Thank you for responding. My heart is broken but we decided to end it. I tried but found he didn't feel it would work out. He said trying to fall back in love with me wouldn't work because for the last year he has been happy with me but just hasn't been able to fall back in love. This is the hardest thing I have ever had to go through.

sweetpea

I do not know if you believe in God but here is a christian website you should checkout. Haste makes waste. Remenber patience is a virtue.

http://www.restoreministries.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi?page=index