My husband leaves us 3 wks after aron is born and shacks up with the sleazecow he's living with, spends buko bucks on her left and right, yet HE WANTS TO CLAIM ARON ON HIS TAXES!

My atty's office says it's best to file jointly this year and that we'll have to take turns claiming him!

My husband won't agree to give me sole rights to claiming the exemption.

(Even though he makes like 4 times what I do, and I'm the one caring for him day and night. He gets him 2 weekends a month. Whoopde do! THAT makes it even doesn't it?)

My question is this: Am I better off biting the bullet and walking into H&R Block with him and filing jointly like we're still living as a married couple or tell him to shove it and file married but filing singly?

I wouldn't be itemizing. We don't pay enough in mortgage interest to make it worth it.


WHAT DO I DO???????? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" />

If you're still married, you'll come out the best tax-wise if you file jointly. The tax rates are the best that way. However, if you file jointly and you get a refund, it will be made out to the two of you and you'll have to haggle over getting it deposited and split. My XH and I filed jointly last year and were able to get along well enough to split the refund, because we knew that filing status was the most beneficial.

I'm not sure how you decide who gets to claim your child this year, since you're still married. I guess it's dependent on who provided the most support (and unfortunately, that means to the IRS, financial support). How much support has he provided since your son was born. If you have provided more, and if your son lives with you, I'd think he'd be hard pressed to force you to let him claim the child.

I do know going forward, if you DV, that you will generally be allowed to claim him on alternating years.

Right now I have two children to claim (one is in college but can still be claimed as a dependent) so my XH and I each get to claim one. But once my son graduates and we're left with only one deduction, one of us claims her on even years and one on odd years until she is also non-claimable.

LL

As far as support he's paid $1,128.00 for 2004.

I don't know how to determine if I've put in more. How would I do that?

I guess I don't understand why it's better for ME to file jointly we've always OWED money to the IRS - like a grand.

So if I only made 15k last year and he made 38k then how is it to my benefit to have to pay $500 in taxes on 15k?

Please explain. I'm confused.

I was thinking that you were probably getting a refund. If you don't get a refund, then it might not hurt you to file separately (sounds like it would definitely hurt him). You might owe, because the tax brackets aren't very friendly to married-separate filers, but he'd probably owe more. And you wouldn't have to split the debt.

As for what you've contributed to your son's support, I'd just figure out how much you've made in wages since he's been born. You've used your wages to maintain his home, right? Compare that to what your husband has paid. Also, I assume your son has been living mostly with you. But at any rate, I think this is probably something the two of you will have to work out. I'm not sure, since you're not divorced, that there is a way to prove who should get to claim him.

Do you have temporary orders for child custody, support, etc? If you do, and they say you have primary physical custody, I'd push for getting to claim your son if you file separately.

And finally, go to IRS.gov and look for forms and publications. Find Publication 501. Go to page 15, look in the center column and find the word "custody" and read the paragraphs that follow. I would think you'd be able to claim your son if you file separately.

Publication 501 does give a lot of good info also about filing separately and things you CAN'T claim if you file that way.

Weight it all. Figure your taxes multiple ways, and then decide what is going to be the most painless overall. It may not be the way that makes you come out finacially the best.

Okay, I'm an accountant by trade but am NOT, and I repeat, NOT a tax accountant. So I think that's about all the help I can be.

LL

I will definitely check out the site!

Thank you so much for your help. This is all hard enough without worrying about tax liabilities too.

Thanks again! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

The IRS has rules for this in the event your decree or separation agreement do not address the issue. My x pays child support but because children reside with me and there are no specifications in the decree, x does not meet the eligibility to claim children. Therefore, I always get the deduction. He earns more than 3 times what I earn and has liberal parenting time. But he has NO deduction because he doesn't qualify.

Some couples have an agreement in their paperwork, however.

A dad paying CS POV.

First off, I want to remind you that I'm the BS, but that really shouldn't matter.

I make 4x to 5x what WW makes annually.

Since my monthly CS check is about 60% of her before tax income, I feel I should be entitled to deducting the child each year.

Yet the IRS feels differently.

There is no way my WW provides more FS for YD than do I. Not to mention I have to pay taxes on the money at a much higher tax rate than WW would.

Alimony is deductable on my side and taxible on hers, but there is no alimony, only CS.

Frankly, CS should be treated the same way. It comes off the top of my income before taxes, and she pays taxes on it, at a lower tax rate.

Then it would be fair for her to take the deduction.

I'm paying $12K/year in CS for one child, and being able to deduct that entire 12K would probably reduce my total tax bill by about $4K/year.

So getting the deduction really doesn't even save me that much money.

I guess I can take some solace in the fact that I still pay 2x as much in taxes as I do CS.

The other thing is I have NO SAY in how the money is spent for YD.

What would make CS more far to the non-custodial parent is for the Custodial Parent to have to account for how the money is spent.

The non-custodial parent will be in hot water if he should miss a payment, but try proving the recipient is using the money for the child and not to suppliment mom's lifestyle.

I have no problem supporting my YD, and would love to have her with me, and give WW liberal parenting time.

However, I have a big problem with handing over money to WW.

If the government could fix this issue, I bet more dads would pay CS. It's silly to expect a man (or woman) to freely give money to someone who divorced him while he only gets to visit with his children every other weekend and maybe one night/week.

I feel for you ladies who don't get your CS, but please rethink the whole entitlement to the tax deduction. Some of us are getting the shaft here, and no amount of fancy lawyering changes the laws.

TB

First, if you and H were separated at the end of the year, technically you should not be filing jointly. Generally, it is best for married couples, providing both spouses have paid enough taxes. Since you and he have always had to pay in the past, it sounds as if you may have to pay part of your H's tax burden.

Second, if ther is no court order for child support, and the child is living with you full-time, I would not consider letting him claim the exemption. Generally, the IRS rule is the custodial parent provides more than 50% support and gets the deduction. $1,128 in child support is not even enough to offset the exemption!!!

You may qualify to file as head of household if you and H were separated the last 6 months of 2004. If not, file Married filing separately. If you only made $15K you should not owe any taxes. Also be sure to file the innocent spouse form which will preclude you from having to pay any taxes your H may owe.

Good Luck.

TessW,

If you decide to claim, filed it as early as possible. My exW did that to me for 2002 in which we never have agreement, I have the kids 70% and pays CS, she didn't work. I didn't fight IRS that disqualify me as a head of household and slammed me w/ penalty. IRS agreed to pull the penalty but I still have to pay the diff. If I do 70-30 for that year I might get the deduction. Check w/ Tax Att.

In my Dv decree in which 2003, I have spelled out one kid for each. However my lawyer didn't push for which kids <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> . Of course she claim the youngest one.

So think about if it worth the $ or even proving we are right. I let her have it just b/c I want to have her out of my life and I don't have to deal with her anymore.

-rh-

hey Redhat,

I have seen your photo on GDII, It look like you and I are from the same part of the world. If you want to talk privatly PM me.

Thanks,

IF he's been out of the home for more than six months and not supported you or your son during that time - file head of household - EVEN if you are still married. You claim your son, and let him pay his own taxes. Until the divorce is final, legal information has been finalized and choices of claims made - you can claim your son.

You will be better off not paying half of his taxes.

Jan

Java ---

I realize you got the shaft in more ways than one --- but the same is often true of the wives (as you are already aware in my case).

Financially speaking, it isn't always the right thing that evens out the options.

I'd gladly pay the taxes if I had the income.

Jan

Tess,

One thing I didn't see anyone spell out clearly in the replies you have already received....

If you file jointly with your husband, you are both EQUALLY responsible for any liabilities. If you file jointly, and the result is that $1000 is owed, you are both equally responsible for making sure that $1000 gets paid.

What does this mean? If your WH decides not to pay ANY of what is owed, you can be considered responsible for the entire amount. Now he will be too, but they will come after both of you for the full amount.

Another thing to consider - you are both equally responsible for any problems or errors. If he files the taxes jointly for you both, and screws it up (whether intentionally or not), you will be held responsible.

Bottom line is - last year, my now-ex and I filed separately. I made sure the separation agreement said we would file separately, because I did not trust him. I was afraid that he would reduce the withholdings from his paycheck to next to nothing, and we would end up owing, and I would have to pay. Add to it the fact that everything that could be deducted were expenses I had paid. I didn't feel I should have to share those deductions with him. He was angry over it - he felt I had cheated him, because he didn't even get to take the standard deduction. If you file separately and one person itemizes, both must itemize. Since all the deductions were mine, he basically didn't have any deductions, not even the standard (which you don't get if you itemize.) In truth, it probably wasn't completely fair to him, but any other way wasn't going to be fair to me, and was going to require me to trust him to pay his fair share, and he had already shown he wasn't trustworthy for those kinds of things. I figured that all the other years where I paid all the expenses that we got deductions for and also paid the biggest share of the taxes, but he helped spend the tax refund, made up for it.

Sorry, I wandered off a bit there. The point here is - filing jointly usually results in less taxes overall, but... it also means the two of you need to be able to work together enough to make sure one person doesn't take advantage of the other. If you aren't sure about him, you may want to insist on filing separately, even if it does cost you more in taxes to do it that way. And he cannot insist you file jointly - you BOTH have to sign the tax return if you do, and he can't make you sign. If you file separately, he really won't have much choice but to do the same.

I don't know if you have a lawyer yet, but if so, you might want to consult him about the deduction for your child and about filing separately. Just remember that if you file jointly, you are both agreeing to be completely responsible for whatever is in the tax return.

Thank you all for your replies. You've been very helpful.

My WH left Sept 14, 2004. So we did live together for the majority of the year.

Even though his child support doesn't even cover the daycare expenses doesn't even cover the daycare expenses. my attorney says that I still need to give him the deduction every other year because he pays child support. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" />

That makes no sense to me.

His CS doesn't even cover daycare! I have to pay the rest plus buy his clothes, diapers, formula, food, toys, medicine, doctor bills, later on dentist bills, school supplies, the list goes on and on.
And I only make like 1/4 of what he does!

This is so unfair!

What's a single mom to do?

I've been trying to determine my best course of action for filing as well.

Does anybody know how to compare the tax rates for filing separately vs. jointly? I am trying to convince my WW to file jointly, as I think it will be better for me, but I don't know for sure if it will be beneficial for her.

Monkey

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> my attorney says that I still need to give him the deduction every other year because he pays child support </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Only if you agree to this. The total amount of child support must be considered more than 50% of the total amount that it took to support. There is a worksheet available to figure this out if you like in the following publication

Pub. 501

Regardless, for this year and your situation I would do the following:

Filing Status: Married, filing separately. Technically you do not qualify for HOH since you did not live apart for more than six months.

Dependent: Claim your child on your return. Child lives with you and even though H paid little child support it probably wouldn't pass the 50% test.

Innocent Spouse: File the innocent spouse form. This will excuse you from any tax liability that you H will have on account he did not have enough federal income tax deducted from his check.

Run, don't walk to your tax preparer and get this done asap. If H get's his taxes done first and claims your child on his return, you could be in for tax liability of your own depending on how much earned income you have for 2004.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by Monkey:
<strong> I've been trying to determine my best course of action for filing as well.

Does anybody know how to compare the tax rates for filing separately vs. jointly? I am trying to convince my WW to file jointly, as I think it will be better for me, but I don't know for sure if it will be beneficial for her.

Monkey </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Here are the 2004 tax rate schedules:
2004 Tax Rate Schedules

Without knowing the details, its difficult to say what would be the best for you.

Suggest you purchase a copy of Turbo Tax, enter all your information and run it all three ways and go from there.

If you made less than $35K you can use Turbo Tax Online at www.taxfreedom.com

I agree that you do NOT "have to" let him claim the children every other year if you have physical custody. You can "let him" and this is often done in amicable arrangements. In my case, neither my ex nor his atty brought it up so I claim mine alone.

Now, my man's ex-girlfriend and mother of his daughter signed over rights to him so that he can claim his daughter every year although he's non-custodial parent. She has regretted it but he has the signed paper and submits it every year with his return. This year under pressure from her husband she already filed her taxes and claimed the daughter. Wondering if that will trigger an automatic audit when he files and also claims her... but he has the right.

I suggested that he offer to his ex that they can go every other year with claiming her, but she wants all or nothing. ???

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by xpButtercup:
<strong>

Wondering if that will trigger an automatic audit when he files and also claims her... but he has the right.

</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">If I understand you she has already filed and claimed her child...if that is the case when your B goes to file and he claims his child (after she already has) his return will be rejected if filing electronically and he will have to correct the return prior to filing. If mailing it in, the return will be accepted and any refud expected will be adjusted for the 'mistake'.

Your B will have to purse the dependency claim through the court. It's not the IRS responsibility to police custody agreements.

Good Luck!