Hi all,
I have not posted in quite some time just because I don't really know what to say. I read everyone's post daily (I am addicted to this site). I feel the pain and the torment of everyone including myself. Some of our situations are so similar until I don't even need to post I get my answers in someone elses post. Today is a new day and a new problem!
I don't want to bore you with a lot of the details, but in order to understand you need a few - so here goes....
I have been on this rollercoaster ride with my WH for the last 15 months now. I caught him having an affair which has resulted in an OC. When I found out about it I threw him out and he went running to OW. Lived with her through this preg. all while telling me he wanted to come home ( needless to say I knew nothing of the preg. or the fact that he was living with her). To speed things up he's living with her she has the baby and he gives this baby our last name and signs the BC. I asked him to do a DNA test, pay CS, and Have NC with OW/OC. He agreed yet never did it, just kept lying about it. He told me he no longer lived there. In July I had enough he never did anything that I reqwuested and that he said he wanted (we have two small babies and a 14yr stepsonwho lives with his mom).
He said he wanted his marriage so all this time I had allowed him to still have access to our home eventhough he was not living with us at the time. He kept leaving us everynight going home as he called it. So I hired a PI with my lawyers help and had him followed. I found out he had been lying to me all along - so I filed for D and changed the locks on my home. He went into a rage about the locks and tried to break in while we were home so now I have a RO against him. With going to court for that I was awarded CS and custody of my children and home.
To shorten this even more, I have allowed him to come back to our home going against the RO. I know bad idea, but the wear and tear of the visits was hard on me and the kids (transporting back and forth). he was promising to do what he needed to do to make us a family again. I allowed him to spend the holidays with us as a family and it was great - knowing that he still lived over there, but listening to his lies. Then one night after he took my stepson home - I get a call saying the she threw my stepson out of the house ( he's a good kid - she's a sad mother). So he was bringing him back to my home. Now my SS has no idea about OW/OC he just knows that we are having problems. But my point today is how long is he going to take me for granted. He doesn't even live here and owes me back CS, but is going to bring SS back to live with me.
While he is off in la la land! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" /> I love this boy so I want what is best for him so I say yes of course. Then he gets a call on his cell phone while we are talking to my SS at home. I ask who it is and he says a friend of his. To prove it to me he shows me the phone. I see another num,ber directly under it (long distance) and ask who it is and he says OW's mother. So I ask what is she calling for and he tells another lie. So I get my phone to call it and speak with her myself. She tells me a bunch of stuff and I tell her I want her daughter to call me. My H is now livid.
He is acting out yelling and screaming my kids are crying and my SS who was just in a devastating moment leaves the house. I have to threaten to call the police on my H if he did not leave. bottom line OW calls shortly after we have a long talk I hear what she has to say I really don't ask her anything. Then I hang up. 15 min later I get another call from her house and it's my H. He is telling me on the phone that he wanted to be with his wife and kids not her and she is screaming in the background - phone goes dead. He calls back and says that she has called the police and is throwing his stuff out of the apartment. He wants to know if I could bring my SUV and help him get his stuff. I immediately ask if my SS was with him and he said yes.
I got angry and said I am on my way to get him!! In the end I let him bring him back to the house and I even let him stay as well eventhough I have told him almost daily that I wanted outof the marriage. I still love him, but he will never change - he has not done anything but talk a good talk this entire time. He is a serial cheater.
Well during this time I have called my attny to have him served of course I did not tell her he was there and made him sign an agrrement stating such. While in the house he has yet to show how happy he is to finally be home ( like he claimed he would be). He still comes home too late, now leaving me to deal with all three children, and has a fit if I question him about it!
no respect - NO Respect!! I want him out of my house and my life!! I have come to the end of my rope. It has been two weeks and he has not found a place to live and his deadline has been extended twice already. He is playing me for a fool. No he does not have access (keys) to my place. I feel like locking him out and letting the chips fall where they may.
What am I suppose to do - I need some support if any or some thoughts. I have tried to assist him in all I could, but feel as though I have been used entirely. I want to have a life of peace and happiness and I have not seen that with him in so long. Plus when you marry I thought that a H and W are to be reponsible one to the other. He did not get that part. You can't be a family man if the family always comes last - and he thinks he's the best. I have had enough - ENOUGH!!!
Help?
JT <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />
<small>[ January 27, 2005, 12:16 PM: Message edited by: Waiting 2 Exhale ]</small>
