My husbands divorce of me comes through next week - Im really not coping with it all and need to limit seeing him...thing is he gets to pick up our son twice a week, so I have to see him 4 times which is sending me in a frenzy. Hes even started bringing "her" along in the car...Ive told him that our son can walk the 5 metres from my door to his car on his own without the dad coming to the door or gate but he wont do this, says its not in our sons best interest, says our son should be able to have a parent walk him to the door...what else can i do apart from having the police station as a pickup point? why is he insisting on doing this to me?

Dancer

Do you have a trusted friend or family member who lives near by? If you do, could you have your STBX do the pickup/dropoff at their place, so you didn't have to face him in person.

LL

<strong> why is he insisting on doing this to me?</strong>

I'll telll ya why - He's an insensitive jerk!

(same reason my husband put a shot of him and the OW kissing in his rockband's new music video.)

How the heck is it in your sons "best interest" to be walked from the door?

Unless he has a physical disability which makes it hard for him to do so on his own - that just doesn't make any sense.

Honey, I know how infuriating and hurtful it is.
I was very upset even when my WH started picking up our son in OW's SUV - let alone bring her ALONG!
I cannot imagine how upset I would be over that.

Sending hugs your way ...........

~ Tess

Is your son school age? If so, do the transitions at school or at a babysitter's home. In the tense times, transitions are difficult, and the children can pick up on this.
If possible, minimize the transitions, and work through a third party (neighbor, friend, family member) rather than subject you and your child to the added stress. You can suggest altering the schedule to minimize the stress. And ask that the OP not be in attendance at the transitions as it does affect your child
Good Luck.

He's throwing this crap up in your face. Me, I'd do it this way:
He walks up to your door to pick up/drop off your son. Say "Hi" and really be sweet (as I'm sure you always are) to your son. Don't even look your ex in the face. You don't have to. All you're doing is picking up/dropping off your son. You are NOT obligated to say one single word to or look at your ex. Not one! If he starts saying Hi, or wants to be chatty, you are NOT obligated to answer - you can keep your answers to a simple YES, NO, WHATEVER, I DON'T CARE. That's it. He will get tired of you IGNORING him. You do not have to answer any of his questions. If he wants to play this stoopit-[censored] game, why not play one of his own, especially is he has the OW with him in the car? Why not get dressed up really SEXY and PROVOCATIVE when you come to the door? He says anything you can casually say, "I'm waiting for my date, etc." or you don't have to answer him at all. Let him draw his own conclusions. You are NOT a prisoner in your own house! You come and go as you please and you wear and say what you please. It's YOUR life.
JMHO,
SDLOM
God bless you and your dear son.

Oh, and if he complains about anything say,
"You may be right" It makes the person feel good, but then you know they may also be wrong.
It's a great phrase to learn.

5 meters huh? That isn't much at all.Your WH is just trying to hurt you IMO.Dragging along his homewrecker for the ride is a just a show.Look at me,look at us the happy adultering couple.Puke.The best interest of your son would have been for his father not to commit adultery. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> My WH pulls the same thing on me.Like he knows what is in the best interest of my girls.I think not.

How old is your son? If he is old enough,maybe you don't need to be right there at the unlocked door waiting for him.Maybe you could be inside like in the kitchen and have cookies waiting? Something like that? In my case,I have a nice long driveway that the kids can be picked up from and dropped off near so I don't even have to see my WH's car when we finalize all this.

Just don't let him run the show here.If you are uncomfortable then be firm about what the routine will be whether that is a family friend,family member or just coming in without WH.

Good luck with whatever you decide.

O