Is this normal??
Everytime i see her i feel ill for almost a week.
She has no idea what she has done to me.
1 affair with a co worker foir six months discovered on dday . Now she is with another co worker from the same company since january 2004. Lots of problems regarding child custody. She wanted to have put me in jail etc etc etc
And still i miss the days when we were together and loved eachother.
Why is she acting like i was the one who caused our divorce and why does she act like i never existed and don't have anything to say about our d
She has full custody i see my d every other weekend and half os school holidays

She has no call to say you have no input over your child unless she the court gave her that right.

So, have you read the basic concepts? Do you have an idea if your X was hurt by any LoveBusters by you? Or if you neglected too many of her Emotional Needs?

Both of those conditions can lead to divorce and to an affair. Neither justifies an affair. There are other options. But, those may be reasons why your X feels like you caused her to divorce you.

So what's your side of the story, besides what you put down?

I have no idea if being ill for a week is normal. Have you had any help working through your grief? How do you feel the rest of the time?

Not sure about your sitch b/c you didn't give that much background. How did she get full custody? And I am of the belief that it is NOT normal to fill ill for a whole week. Severe depression most likely. As for me, the thought of my x and seeing him makes me sick. But not ill. I just detest it.

You sound really depressed. Are you on AD's? Have you consulted w/a doc or a psych? I am sorry for your losses, but you have to learn how to become the best dad you can be and although you have had to endure the affair, you also have to find coping mechanisms and techniques to lessen this feeling you have.

We're here to help, but we can't help if you don't give us more info.e

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by mvdr:
<strong> Is this normal??
Everytime i see her i feel ill for almost a week.
She has no idea what she has done to me.
1 affair with a co worker foir six months discovered on dday . Now she is with another co worker from the same company since january 2004. Lots of problems regarding child custody. She wanted to have put me in jail etc etc etc
And still i miss the days when we were together and loved eachother.
Why is she acting like i was the one who caused our divorce and why does she act like i never existed and don't have anything to say about our d
She has full custody i see my d every other weekend and half os school holidays </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I'm not 3 yrs in. Just 1 yr +. I too feel sick when I see my x. She too had a devastating affair which I tried for nearly 5 yrs to repair the damage we both had done to our M. Didn't work.

Here's some ideas:

People who destroy marriages are pretty sick themselves. Sickness guarantees bizzare behaviors. It also can make them unreasonable to deal with.

There is a phenomena readily seen among WS that demonstrates they are continuing to live in a FOG! They project their guilty behavior onto the BS. It's amazing to see. Happens continually as you read right here on MB.

You're running the risk in my opinion of getting "STUCK". Divorce flamout. You don't want that. Please get some pro help ASAP.

Said a prayer in your behalf,
High Flight

Yes i know i LB'd and didn't meet her needs but it was two sided, her side also. Just started building a house both demanding jobs, a little child, she working as a salesperson spending 2 or 3 times a week going out with collegaes or clients.
Sometimes in hotels, seminars, ...
And yet when we were close we sometimes were like one. I loved her very deeply and i can t understand why she can't seem to forgive me.
I ve been on professional help for a couple of years now seeing both a shrink and a psychologist.
I have been drinking a lot (never used to before)
Sometimes i feel like we really missed some opportunities to make something of our marriage after her A.It's like i don't want to let go of her,yet?
I just don't know how to address handling her at the moment because she really vicious towards me
Any advice????

I just would really like some help or techniques as to how to cope with all my losses. I try to keep as busy as possible but sometimes something triggers all the hurt and then i really go down deeply obsessing about something that happened

You're in full blown depression ok? It is fine. You can beat it. You gotta get clean first. Drinking doesn't help things.

Never drink if you're depressed.

You are losing your present by obesessing over your past.

Are you on antidepressants? I would consider getting another counselor or psych b/c what is happening now is NOT working.

There is a book I read along time ago called "when bad things happen to good people" by
dobson. I may have worded title wrong, but it really helped me. And then of course, is the main book the Bible...the book besides Bible which really dug me outta my hole (which I dug for myself btw) is "Life Strategies" by Dr. Phil. And bingo! It comes with a workbook too.

Get some serious pro help and on antidepressants. Get life Stragegies. Get involved in a church. Find some outdoor activities or a hobby. Dump out all the alcohol from your home and force yourself outside to buy those darn books...

That's the ticket. Right now, worrying over your x does keep you frozen. High Flight is RIGHT ON TARGET!

It is sad to see so many people who are in turn really fogging themselves up over their x spouses...not grabbing life and running with it. Life is not over because somebody chooses stupidly and leaves you. You just have a future that is up to you how you view it. You can have a bright one or a bleak one. You can be happy or sad. You can be sober or be an alcoholic. You can be a good parent or parent impaired. And your kids deserve you to be really there for them 100 percent.