This day has totally sucked. You would not believe the letter I got from WH's atty. today.

I went to 1 show back in October(15th). His atty says I'm showing up at his gigs and harrassing he and his friends! He came up to me & bought me a drink! I did not in any way harrass him or his stupid friends!

He said that I'm putting his job at risk by calling him on his cell phone - that's the only phone I can call him on!

When I called him at his gf's home it was harrassment so how the heck can I get ahold of him then?
Those calls were brought up too <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />

Plus, even though I don't make what I used to they want the CS recalculated by my "INCOME POTENTIAL" & not by what I'm making!

He talks about buying a house next year while I can't even make monthly bills!

I told him that I wanted him to pay 1/2 of the home owners insurance since his name is still on the house. If it burned down he would expect half the check. So he should pay half the premium.

Plus, I said I needed him to pay half of the med. bills from giving birth.

He says "Well, if you give me what I want for visitation then I'll help you with those bills AS LONG AS YOU DON'T LET IT GET BACK TO CHERYL!"

Like I give a CRAP whether SHE approves of where his money is going! He owes half! Screw her!

EEEEEWWWWWWW <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" />

Oh, and then they bring up when Aron had an ear infection. I went from the ped. office directly to the pharmacy. I called him on New years eve and said he may want to pick up some baby tylenol because Aron might need it.

His atty says I waited several days to get medication for his ear infection!!!! And why all of a sudden did I then feel like it was an emergency? That %^^&^%$#!

OOOHHHH. Then of course they brought up the hair on his toe that they took him to emergency for. My husband couldn't remember who the ped. was so they said that I never gave him the info!

Hey Stillshocked, I need a laugh. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />


Where are you ?

How is your baby?

It always makes me sad (and mad at me!!!) how much energy I spent on my X, crying, feeling devastated, and did not spend that time ENJOYING EVERY SECOND with my baby!
Now he's 3, still the little one, yet I feel so bad I missed so many days, months not being HAPPY JUST HAVING HIM!

And one day you'll see what you really missed...
The only thing that really matters in this life; that little human being depending on you, and their childhood happiness too.

And I compensate all of that now, and it makes me happier than ever!

<small>[ January 29, 2005, 07:47 PM: Message edited by: Belonging to Nowhere ]</small>

Hi Belonging,

I wish I could just overlook everything and just enjoy him.

But these are things that directly effect both of our lives - like him trying to paint me as not taking care of him:(lie!)

My son was diagnosed with an ear infection. I went straight from the pediatricians office to the pharmacy and picked up his amoxicillan. I had called my husband to tell him a few days later that Aron has an ear infection but we're treating it with amoxicillan. If he seems a little fussy though he'll want to pick up some baby tylenol.

Then this crappy lawyer of his says that I waited several days without med. for the baby and then called my husband to tell him to pick up the meds!

Not true!

He's trying to take more time from me with our son. He wants two full days in a row so he can leave our son at his moms.

I don't think right now that 2 full days in a different environment around people he doesn't know who will not have him on his schedule is a good thing. One day and then another later in the week would be better.
Two whole days away from mommy is too much I think.

I do enjoy him. He and the grace and mercy of God are the only reason that I'll even make it through this.

I just want all of the crap to be over with. Work and no $,big bills, not enough sleep, being a single mom, and not having much of a life other than work and home are hard enough without my WH rubbing things in my face, lying to me, and worrying about the outcome of this divorce.

I don't know how to just pretend like all of that isn't going on and just be happy I have my son.

I am so thankful for him, but these things are going on and it is stressfull.

Hi Tess,

I KNOW it's difficult, and wasn't possible for me either, to just enjoy my baby, all I say is... you'll feel very sorry one day that you spent even one second on *&%&* of your H.
Well, at least I do so. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />
I want you to think from that perspective, and at least try to think from that angle...

His lawyer is just doing his job, and he puts on the papers those things your H says to him.

Do you have your lawyer? For you need to protect your baby and you.
This includes financial part and - visitations.
Yes, it is too much time for so little baby to be without the mom.

You have to take care of you, ok?

And, trust me - one day you and your baby will be just fine!
When?
It is really up to you!
So, focus your energy on you and your baby as much as possible.

Your x is wacked in the head and lost in foggyland.

He has an attny who is just doing what he's told to do.

And you don't have one yet?

He's legally threatening you and you don't have one? He's also blackmailing you to give you money if you don't tell the OW about him givingyou the money he should already legally be providing you and your child.

Advice: Get good attorney. Get to court. Get the real facts and do NOT listen to a foggy idiot. They will say things to frighten you into settling and giving them things their way. I know this from experience. Cut off contact with him. Get off the rollercoaster.

Here's what to do in a timeline:
1)attorney: good one.
2)phone recorder: tape phone calls and if you get a message saying something like I will pay you but only if you do this...you can use it in court ok?
3)get a counselor and work on you. Get support from us. Learn how to disconnect from your stbxh to get the ever needed clarity because right now is a stressful time.

Remember, your job is to protect your child and legally secure a safe, sound, and moral future for them. If you x wants to change, he can do so. You can't worry about him now. He's gonna try to play mind games and suck you back in. Stay out. Stay focused. Stay clear. I did that but six months too late ok? Take that from a woman who walked this path before. That would have made all the difference. Plus, if I had been far tougher on him, he may have chosen a different life route. But I am happy now and I am finally whole again.

Praying for you...praying for clarity and good decisions to be made. Do not let your ws and his affair partner bully you into a poor settlement. They (WS) sometimes go to all lenghts to prove they are right and will stop at nothing. My x even broke into my home to try to gain access on my computer or on my phone to prove I had to be having affairs like he was...no good. He found nothing but the police found him and his fingerprints all over the place. He has a record and did one day overnight in jail. Like a regular criminal. County put an RO on him and I had blissful peace for 3 months.

Trust me, tape the calls. And keep a paper track if he emails you.

Time for very dark plan B hon. Actually, it's plan D. No contact, divorce time.

Thanks for the support B!
Yep, I've got an atty. Problem is : I'm getting the $ for the atty from family and they're tired of paying. It's been 4Gs already and we have to go back to court yet and settle assets as well. My mother is freaking about the cost.

(Even though she's never had to pay for things for me before. My grandmother paid for my expenses growing up, I bought my own cars, she didn't chip in for college or pay more than $100 for my wedding. So, at almost 35 I don't think that asking for help now is too much is it?)

I can't do too much with my atty. because of this. I can only call if it's an emergency type situation or something of that nature. So that makes working through my atty. difficult.

I'll really try to limit contact as much as I can. I don't want regrets later.

Kinda funny. Today he brought me a leftover 1/2 box of chocolates that he bought yestarday. (It's his visitation day so he was picking up our son.)
He said he bought it for his store but people didn't eat it. He said he didn't need it and "Cheryl certainly doesn't."

<img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHH (CHERYLS HIS GF) <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> HAHAHAHAHAHA


AHHH Gets me everytime I think of it.


I said "Um, ok. Thanks but I don't really eat that stuff anymore. I'm almost down to a size 3."

(Yes, I was rubbing it in a little bit.) <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

So, he snaps back with "Just remember it's about inner beauty too."

I asked "So, you're saying I have no inner beauty?"

He tries to recoup and says "No, I just said remember about inner beauty."

Yeah, this is the same man who used to ride me on everything I'd put in my mouth because as he put it he "deserves a trophy wife."

Suddenly he's only concerned with inner beauty? I'm not buying it.

And I'm not saying outer beauty is more important either. It's just that being in a lot better shape (and not being a slimeball who sleeps with other womens husbands) are some of the only things I have on her. So, I hold onto those things.

She makes like 5 times what I do, is more independant, is ambitious, and a very talented photographer.

(But she's a cow and sleeps with married men. And for the record she doesn't seem that nice to me at all from what I've heard.)

Peachy !

Hi dear. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Yeah, you are so right on. I so need clarity right now!!

It's hard to sift through the bull sometimes.

I've kept all of his emails lately. I have a folder named SCOTT that I stick them all in.

Your X actually broke in? And he sat in jail with other criminals? Bet THAT was an eye opener.

Thank you so much for your prayers! I really really need clarity and wisdom to make right decisions. Please add in that I have favor with Judge Gardner too since my contact with my atty. now has to be limited. Thanks so much!