HELP

<small>[ February 04, 2005, 12:20 PM: Message edited by: heloguy ]</small>

Wow. That was a comprehensive first post if ever I saw one. I think you're pastor may have a point. Does your pastor have training in working with married couples?

Your wife has not only emotionally divorced herself from you, she's going on a freeloading binge if ever I saw.

Here's what I suggest:
1. If your pastor doesn't have training in working with couples in crisis, find a marriage counselor. Find one who is a straight shooter and not afraid of rocking the boat.

2. Read up on Plan B, SaveYourMarriageCentral.com's Protection Phase and even the Controlled Marriage which is laid out in the book Should I Stay or Should I Go? How a controlled separation can save your marriage.

3. Make an appt. with your attorney. Be prepared by being knowledgable. What happens if your wife files for divorce? Does your state have legal separation? What can you do to protect you daughter and yourself.

4. Cancel the internet service in you home. Or install spyware.

5. When you have all the information you feel you need, I think you should exert some pressure on C to go to marriage counseling.

I'm a little worrried your wife has a foot out the door and is only getting her ducks lined up.

Excuse me? I must have missed something.

Your Wayward Wife wants to see you change? Okay. Where? More conversation? I read you were working on that.

I think she needs to make a lot of changes. Unfortunately, right now, you may not be able to shove that down her throat since she obviously couldn't care less, and you want to save your marriage.

I’d like to exert some pressure on her to go to marriage counseling. Any time that I have brought it up about counseling, it’ll get her set-off and she shuts down. I pray that the Lord will work soon (patience) how and when. I’d like to get some idea how and when.

She would not be comfortable relinquishing control. Giving up (sign of failure) may cause her to reveal stuff she wants no one to know. Which would be the best for everyone concerned. She (the Lord will soften her heart) will have to make that decision to go (Can’t make a mule drink when it doesn’t want to.). Long-range hope. Today would be good.

The anger she has towards me lately is when someone phone calls the house, usually the calls are for her. In the past I often asked the people to identify themselves. I felt, it as a courtesy to her so she’ll know who she is going to be speaking with. I may recognize the voice or they well identify themselves. Occasional the caller ID will be helpful, however some of them will ask for her out right. I thought I might be giving her an “Info-caller”, which she hates. Now as I hand her the phone I get this evil teeth grinding look of anger”. In a low loathing voice she’s telling me, “DON”T ASK WHO THEY ARE” “THEIR MY FRIENDS DON’T TALK TO THEM” “JUST GIVE ME THE PHONE”.

I said I would comply with her request not to ask who the callers are; she would handle the Info-callers herself. I guess she thinks I’m screening her callers.

I don’t feel that I’m out of line?

I wrote her a sincere thoughtful card over the weekend, which talked about forgiveness, and how much I appreciate what good things she does. She responded to the comment in the card very warmly, “That it was very, very nice card”.