Hi ~ been a few weeks since I made any posts, so alot of you won't know me. Left my husband 6 yrs ago...still in divorce court...I am trying to reconcile.Discussed this with him; he's not sure. Anyway...3 weeks ago I arrived at our sons bball game to find my husband had saved me a seat and brought me coffee & a bagel!! That had to be the best coffee & bagel I have ever had in my life :-) The following week I invited him for sunday dinner (kids too) and he said yes..didn't think..didn't hesitate..just said yes!! We had a great evening...good food..laughing. Then the next weekend I asked him if he'd like to go out just the 2 of us for a burger or something...he said no, not then but he would go out with me again soon. I smiled, stayed upbeat and said 'great'!! Now..this past weekend at another game...be barely spoke to me!! Only what was necessary to be sociable. I am giving him space, don't want to push...but would also like him to get to know ME again...any thoughts/advice would be greatly appreciated!!!

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by nancy1061:
<strong> Hi ~ been a few weeks since I made any posts, so alot of you won't know me. Left my husband 6 yrs ago...still in divorce court...I am trying to reconcile.Discussed this with him; he's not sure. Anyway...3 weeks ago I arrived at our sons bball game to find my husband had saved me a seat and brought me coffee & a bagel!! That had to be the best coffee & bagel I have ever had in my life :-) The following week I invited him for sunday dinner (kids too) and he said yes..didn't think..didn't hesitate..just said yes!! We had a great evening...good food..laughing. Then the next weekend I asked him if he'd like to go out just the 2 of us for a burger or something...he said no, not then but he would go out with me again soon. I smiled, stayed upbeat and said 'great'!! Now..this past weekend at another game...be barely spoke to me!! Only what was necessary to be sociable. I am giving him space, don't want to push...but would also like him to get to know ME again...any thoughts/advice would be greatly appreciated!!! </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">PLease clarify somehting here. You have been separated for 6 years? Was their affairs? Have you been to MC ever? YOu want to reconcile.....does he?

LM

Nancy,

I am guessing here, but I think the word that might describe him is apprehensive or more bluntly...fear.

Men are on the whole a bit apprehensive about long term commitments,not always, but I would bet given that you left him and have been basically gone 6 years, he is very frightened of enduring what he went through last time.

I am guessing it hurt him more than you know.

That being said, I think any time you get the chance, continue on as you have been. He will pull away everytime he has a great time, because he worries it won't continue and it is too good to be true. So be consistent, and each time you do have a good time with him he will pull away less, and for shorter periods.

If you read hopeful_persons' threads that is to some extent what happened. Her H had to overcome a lot of fears with her and it took time.

I look forward to hearing from you and you take on what I have said.

God Bless,

JL