I have consulted w/an attorney - though, I haven't given a retainer yet.

Any opinions on gender of an attorney. Better for a women to work w/a female attorney or a male? Who's the better "shark"...Due judges seem to favor a particular gender?

Ask people you know who they would recommend in your area--If they have been divorced who did they use?

And how did things turn out for them?

Do you really want a shark or do you want to just end this and do whats best for everyone?

Go for a shark!

Do what's best for everyone? If parties were interested in that then people probably wouldn't need to BE in court in the first place.

That sounds nice and dandy but this is the real world we live in here.

Unfortunately my husband has a shark and it's making it very hard on me. His lawyer is a friend of his family from years back. She's fighting extra hard and is charging him next to nothing.

This is a divorce. When all is said and done -

YOU ARE THE ONE WHO HAS TO LIVE WITH THE CONSEQUENCES OF YOUR ATTORNEYS' ABILITY AND EFFORTS.

At the end they move on to the next client and you're just a number and file. Trust me. Ask around and find the most aggressive atty. you can. Then, if he or she doesn't NEED to be that agressive fine, but the ability should be there if and when it's needed.

GOOD LUCK!

Yes Tess, Not all sharks have the childs best interest at heart--

Mine was a very good atty--my ex's was not--his was a shark but even with that he wasn't very good--he was only circling around for the money--

Mine was looking out for me and my kids--and she even filed charges against my ex's atty AFTER the court proceedings were over--he was fined thousands of $'s--and was reported to the State BAR for his actions--not because of my ex-h but because of his 'shark like' business tactics and threats--

Unless you plan on "duking" it out in court I'd look for a lawyer that is a good negotiator rather than a "shark" per se. Ideally one your X would feel comfortable talking to.

JMHO,

Miker

Luckily we have no children together and his are grown.

We have alot to fight for and believe me he will fight to keep as much as he can. He will find a shark he knows alot more influencial people than I do.

I know very few people that are divorced that I can get a referral from. I do know a crimal attorney and will ask him if he knows the one I'm talking with and if she's "good" - or maybe he knows someone better.

This will be a huge battle - like the War of the Roses...WH feels I deserve nothing and he should keep it all..Just like his attitude towards his many affairs..He's entitled..to them..I have all the material items a girl could want - hmm, isn't that enough???

I'm glad I've held off filing still I became stronger and have emotionally become more detached from him. I still love him, but realize that I can no longer live a life of lies and a life w/o SF, EN met, etc.

The attorney I've been talking to said since we are in an equitable distribution state - it typically turns out to be equitable. Him getting 70 and me 30 isn't likely. Him dragging this out 5 years isnt' likely.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by ITHURTS:
<strong> Any opinions on gender of an attorney. Better for a women to work w/a female attorney or a male? Who's the better "shark"...Due judges seem to favor a particular gender? </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I think it depends on your spouse...

The description of your stbx sounds a lot like my x. I hired a male shark. I went looking for a shark. It's been 15 years, and that decision is among the best I ever made.

I wanted someone who would stand up to my x and enjoy doing it. My attorney was so appalled by my x's behavior, that he not only took him to the cleaners, he did much of it for free. I never stepped foot into the courthouse. If it could be said that a divorce was "easy" mine would qualify.

If I was ever faced with a divorce from my current h, I'd just be looking for someone to file the papers. I wouldn't need the shark. I wouldn't look for one nor would I hire one if I found one.

My x and my current h are as different as night and day. I don't think there's a "one size fits all" approach to choosing an attorney.

As for gender bias, remember there are female judges, too. I don't think it's helpful to try to anticipate whether a judge is going to look more favorably on you based on the sex of your attorney.

Good luck.