This is topic I haven't seen here yet. Sometimes I find that stresses at work can sometimes spill over to your private life. Right now for myself the place Where I work at is a good place with a GM that cares about the employees under him. But lately we've been going through some financial problems. Our main customer had filed for bankruptcy protection and was sold.The new owners say they are still going to buy from us but right at the moment there are 4000 skids of their product sitting in our yard. I was making 1200 every two weeks but now they have cut my hours and I'm down to 580. I have a second job driving for a lumberyard on weekends but now I work four days a week on the first job and two on the other and a renovation job on the side. It's been rough cause my future step son needs his meds, she doesn't make enough to cover all her bills and I have to top her off some to make sure she has enough for milk and bread. With the other employees going around perdicting doom and gloom its hard on our nevres.

231

<small>[ August 22, 2002, 05:44 PM: Message edited by: 231 ]</small>

Well, I keep hearing that money is the number one thing couples fight about.

I really think money is just an "object" that symbolizes Dr. Harley's emotional needs, policy of joint agreement, and basic concepts that are needing work in the relationship.

The good news is that when times are bad, really bad, it's a chance for you to look really, really good!!

For instance your fiance is having trouble with the bills. I bet she appreciates the medicine and food you provide for her and her son even though your check has been cut so drastically. You can do this with love in your eyes and proudly give her whatever she needs. This would definately fall into satisfying an emotional need for her.

But you need to think about your emotional needs as well. When a member of a couple is cranky, it's time to put all of Dr. Harley's concepts.

Take some time to read about the Policy of Joint Agreement. Make sure that you both are enthusiasically agreeing about money. Is she over-spending from all of the stress? Are you using money efficiently enough to pay most of the bills?
Is the uncertainty of the future wearing on you?

The tighter the budjet, the more loving, friendly, and caring negotiations need to happen, so that you give each other a sense of security in the face of uncertainty.

Sometimes, like with the meds, they have to be bought. But perhaps you could negotiate a favorite home cooked meal or a back rub to ease the stress of the day. Then maybe you could draw a flower and love note for her to find in the morning.

After a week to a month of following this type of behavior that Dr. Harley suggests on this website, the most amazing thing will happen...

(I know it for a fact because it happened to me)

... You'll both be lovey-dovey eyed, hugging each other, wondering how you could feel so much love and optimism, because the future will look so bright in your home. The stress at work will be small and stay there.

Good Luck!

Thanks Blueberry. Thats the one thing we don't argue about. She is very good with money and accounts for every penny. It's just the drop in income hurts and can screw up any plans we have.
What I hate is at work it turn everyone into dog eat dog and everyone but themselves are lazy. Then you get a couple of empoyees that all they do is go around with doom an gloom in their conversations about the company. I think people can't take the good times with the bad and soon as things look bad they run like rats from a shinkiing ship. New people bought our major customer and will continuing buying from us cause we give good service and product. All they have to do is weather the storm and we'll survive. I'm doing this renovation as a way of getting christmas money so we can give the kids a decent christmas. That what she loves about me I hussle around trying to keep some money coming in.

231

<small>[ August 23, 2002, 04:55 AM: Message edited by: 231 ]</small>