hi was wondering if i should file for the divorce.My wife LEft in july saying she wanted to work it out and stay together. It didnt happen and in dec she said she wants a divorce and she was filing. well its feb now and she hasnt filed. I really dont want to divorce cause i love her andwant to work it out with her. I have lost all hope of getting back together and just dont know why she is dragging this out when she said she knows she wants out.It hurts me to much to be in limbo i just want to work it out or get it over with. Now when i go to pick up my son i get so angry at her but dont let her see it. should i file and just get it done ?

I don't think anyone can tell you whether to file or not. Only you can decide that. What are the issues? Is there another man in her life? Have you read the info on this site about emotional needs, love busters, Plan A/B, etc.? If not, that would be a good place to start.

I am not sure if a matter of fact feeling is supposed to come when you reach this point or not. I am still living with my husband, desperately trying to get enough courage to move out. These decisions are very hard even the first steps I was kind of hoping that they would get somewhat easier as I moved along.

s350sxx ~ I am dealing with the same emotions, not knowing if I should file, My WH has been out of the house since Oct. and can't decide if he wants to work it out. found out this week that OW is still in the picture.. So now I must decide what I need to do.. It's not easy.. but then again neither is this...

I am not an expert, but because she is threatening to divorce but doesn't follow through, it seems she is really confused, but still cares for you. If she really wanted out, she would have filed the first time she mentioned it. You may want to set a boundary with her because she is not letting you move on or come back in the marriage. She is straddling the fence.

My H says he doesn't want a divorce, however, has little contact with me. He moved out in Nov, but he has put me in a limbo state. My counselor is telling me that I need to set boundaries on what I feel my self-worth deserves. Use this time to work on you...if you change for the better, then she will notice and may want to run back to you. What is it that pleases you? What do you want to do for fun? Do it.

I know it is hard, but try to lose your resentment for her. The more you try to resent her actions, the more frustrated you become. She needs to find out for herself that she needs to get off the fence and do something. Be patient, be calm. Enjoy yourself without her. She will sense that things have changed and may make the appropriate decision.

Read Hebrew 11:1

God Bless,
Nomoregames

thanks every one. she has recently looked at my mail that still comes to the house one is my bank statements and she looked at it to.she dosent realize it is hard to move on when i am still married and nothing is getting done. Its like i am there for convinence for he rif she wants to come back. I am trying to do my own things and try not to think of her much. As far as another man i am not sure of. cause of our work scheduals i know when she is home and at work i have my son for some time every day when she is working. I think her friends are a big influence and they are all single. I chose the road of my family and she chose being single

<small>[ February 03, 2005, 06:35 PM: Message edited by: s350sxx ]</small>