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Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 147
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OP
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Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 147 |
OK - WH is moving out of state - far away - taking new job. Leaving in a week - I want to see him face to face before he goes. He's still with his OW. I just have a few things to say to him for myself - I've thought a lot about what I need to do for myself - I think essentially I want to do a verbal Plan B letter -- I don't want to put it in writing (I know that is a no-no) but I don't trust that he and OW won't have a good laugh over it.
Anyway - an e-mail was sent to him by someone who i've been corresponding with over the last few months in trying to get myself through this horrible experience. She had been a WS and had corresponded with him earlier when he was trying to get off the fence (he ended up on the other side, obviously). She sent this e-mail sort of at my request because he was giving me a hard time about the face to face - not really commiting to doing it, etc... so anyway - whatever was said in that e-mail really made him mad. He had agreed to meet with me (which is so insane that I feel like he is doing me a favor) but then thought about this e-mail he got and decided that he wasn't going to play any games.
I have NO clue what he's talking about and NO idea what was in that e-mail. But i've since responded to his e-mail and pretty much pleaded that he meet with me before he goes. WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME??? I know our marriage is over, I know i need to move on. Why do I feel like I need this so desperatly to the point where i'm almost groveling for it??? I'm getting so annoyed with myself!!
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Joined: Feb 2002
Posts: 4,199
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Joined: Feb 2002
Posts: 4,199 |
You want closure, a face to face before he leaves.
Perhaps you have some unstated expectation at this meeting - like he'll admit to everything and apologize.
Allow that you have this need, and realize that if he's not capable, it's yet another one of your needs that he choose not to meet.
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Joined: Mar 2003
Posts: 93
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Joined: Mar 2003
Posts: 93 |
Hi Still!
No, you're not a complete idiot, just to answer that question.
The person who you should be able to turn to when life gets tough, is the person who made it tough. It's very confusing for you, on an emotional level.
I have a lot of empathy for you.
Take care,
Jenny
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