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Joined: Aug 2002
Posts: 4
Junior Member
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Junior Member
Joined: Aug 2002
Posts: 4 |
After getting seperated in Jan. my wife lived with her mom and took the kids. She now has a house in another county with the kids. We went to counseling one time yesterday and the counselor said that there was no hope if both of us didn't want it to work. I really want this to work out but I don't plan on waiting much longer is there any advice on how to get started rebuilding this as I don't see her helping any in the process.
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Joined: Aug 2002
Posts: 4
Junior Member
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Junior Member
Joined: Aug 2002
Posts: 4 |
Coincidentally, I am looking for the same type of advice from anyone out there. My husband and I have had problems for a while. We have tried counseling a few years ago, but I don't think his heart was in it and so we dropped it but nothing was resolved. We both definitely agree there is a problem but I feel like I am the only one interested in actually committing to work on it. I have perused the MB website but could not find anything specific on "getting your spouse to agree to counseling" or something of that nature. Any ideas?
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Joined: Aug 2002
Posts: 4
Junior Member
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Junior Member
Joined: Aug 2002
Posts: 4 |
If you are still together then there is hope at least more than what is in my situation. And if you are like me we have tried two different counselors over the years and it seems like they were cut from the same mold do the same thing nothing new and nothing we didn't already know. I wonder if anyone can be a counselor and just wondering why almost all counselors are divorced, what can I expect if they couldn't even save their own marriage. I guess you could call me pessimistic, frustrated, and tired of getting my hope up only to have it crash and send me into a deeper depression.
<small>[ August 30, 2002, 06:20 PM: Message edited by: hopelessly hoping ]</small>
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Joined: Aug 2002
Posts: 4
Junior Member
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Junior Member
Joined: Aug 2002
Posts: 4 |
Well I know I am in a slightly better situation but there is still a lot of work for us to do. I hope that you can get something worked out. By the way, if you are very depressed, and it is affecting your outlook on life, e.g. if you really feel hopeless about life (just a guess from your login name and what you wrote - I could be wrong) maybe you should consider finding someone to talk to in person (i.e. a professional person)? I don't want to sound dramatic but you may be experiencing real depression and you need a professional counselor (not necessarily a marriage counselor) to help you work with it. What do you think?
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 227
Member
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Member
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 227 |
hh Fire that counsellor, immediately. You need a counsellor that is pro marriage and solution oriented. Read this link. Each one had a spouse that did not want to be married or work on the marriage. http://www.divorcebusting.com/ubbth...ew=collapsed&sb=5&o=&fpart=1
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Joined: Aug 2002
Posts: 4
Junior Member
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Junior Member
Joined: Aug 2002
Posts: 4 |
Patient1, thanks very much for the link. Very helpful.
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Joined: Aug 2002
Posts: 4
Junior Member
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Junior Member
Joined: Aug 2002
Posts: 4 |
Read the link not bad patient 1. Wrote her a letter and she said it was very good. I think things might turn around now. Well at least I hope they do. I think I said some things she needed to hear in the letter. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />
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