I moved out two weeks ago and wow what a change. I no longer wonder when my wife is coming home or to whom she's talking to on the phone.

The move out day wasn't without drama. The day I moved out I sensed that there may be a problem on the day I was originally going to move out. My wife and I were in disagreement over the furniture I was taking. I took a sofa, large chair, coffe table, end tables, sofa table and dinnette set. I left our bedroom furniture, childrens furniture, all plates and kitchen appliance, washer and dryer. I called and asked if I could have at the day off from work (Tuesday) instead of Friday. I called a friend who has been helping get through the tough stuff of divorce. He met me at the house with his truck and I had one too. I called my wife at work to let her know that I moved out and what I'd removed from the home. Well, about an hour later I got a call from my mother-in-law telling me I was evil for taking "that" furniture. I wanted to inform her concerning the evil her daughter is caught up in, but the Lord told me to keep my mouth shut and let him work on my behalf. Keep in mind this is a Christian women, but when it comes to children sometimes our spirituality can be set aside. She continued to yell and I hung up. I waited until I calmed down and called her back and apologized for hanging up and let her know if we are going to talk then it must be without yelling. Minutes later the cell phone that my in-laws gave to me was disconnected.

I called my wife the next day to see when we would start the joint custody of the children. She said she no longer thought that it was a good idea that the children spend any time with me. I called my lawyer and he spoke to her lawyer. My lawyer wanted to know what I took because she made it sound like I left her barren. He couldn't believe she made such a stir over the few things I took. Her lawyer got through to her that it wasn't a good idea to keep the children from me. I was able to keep them that weekend and we broke in the new apartment with our first meal. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

She changed all of the locks on the house and has the neighbors keeping an eye on the place. If any of them knew the truth I doubt they would be lending so much support. I talked to my attorney about the kids and the home and he said that joint custody going forward shouldn't be a problem. He also let me know that in our state changing the locks on the home is illegal since there is no court order concerning the property. He did direct me to keep out of the house just to keep the peace.

I know I'm rambling so I'll try and wrap this up. I started a divorce recovery workshop at a local church five weeks ago. I've learned a lot since then and haven't shed a tear in weeks. I've started working out again trying to reclaim the 25 pounds I lost and my appetite has returned.

I know that there's a great deal of emotional healing I still need. I feel I'm on the right track and started IC with a Focus on the Family trained therapist.

Thank you for all of you who have prayed and will continue to pray for me!

God Bless,

Titleist

It's not easy is it? I'm doing a good job myself of not engaging in the drama. Good for you. Good luck.

It was a year yesterday since my XH moved out of our house. It's been a difficult year in a lot of respects, but one thing you mentioned is SO true in my life as well, and has been what has brought me probably the most peace:

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> I moved out two weeks ago and wow what a change. I no longer wonder when my wife is coming home or to whom she's talking to on the phone.
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">When he was "living" at home, even though he wasn't coming home until the wee hours or many nights not at all, I made myself sick with worry. And when he was home and was talking to OW on the phone, it drove me nuts. Even when he didn't answer, I knew she was calling his cell by her ring, or I'd hear a text message beep in.

When he left and I didn't have those things in my face every day, like you, I quit worrying about them.

Now if I could just find a divorce care program in my area...

It sounds like you are doing very well in your healing process, by the way!

LL

Titleist,

this is a revelation I had after time away that I posted earlier...see if it makes sense to you.

http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/ultimatebb.php?ubb=get_topic;f=34;t=012611

You'll be good

Reborn

I can very much relate -- I was living in our house until christmas -- i had 3 months of WH/STBX spending weekends and sometimes a week at a time with OW -- talking to her every night - thinking i'm an idiot by going outside to talk to her in the middle of October -- saying oh its a nice night i'm just going to go sit outside (yea, ok, whatever) It was a constant slap in the face and stab in the heart - when I moved out and no longer had to concern myself with his "schedule" I felt like a HUGE weight was lifted --

The healing continues but when I think back to how horrible those days were I can't believe I actually survived it.