I was going to an auto parts store to see some of my car-guy friends. I was looking for a parking space when I saw my STBXW flirting with a man that I know to be married. It has been making me sick thinking about how much pain she has caused me and here she is getting ready to cause someone else pain as well. Will she ever stop destroying marriages? I found out that she is trying to get a job at the same store my friends work at. I would not have an issue with that execpt that she has filed a restraining order against me. I did nothing to her that could be remotely viewed as a threat to her life. I did have a gun to my own head but nobody was around and I could not find the bullets (I am still here). I was a clear danger to my own life, not hers. Now she will be seperating me from my friends and driving me out of my own life. I guess I really will have to go online for love because at this rate no woman within the area I live in will want anything to do with me. I still am furious that she is trying to drive me out of my own life and walk away with a friend that i have known for 20 years. She is the one that had the affairs she should be the one that gives up her life and moves away not me! Is there anybody out there with some ideas for dealing with this situation? I really need some help! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" />

You are going to have to learn to ignore her. If she knows you see her, she may even be intentionally flirting and such just to get to you.

Unfortunately, you can't make her leave town. Just don't stoop to her level.

LL

It may be hard to ignore a restraining order. I have no problem other than that. She can do as she pleases AFTER the divorce is final. Anything she does before I WILL bring up in court. She got a valentine card today on her car from a man that I know to be married. How many marriages is she going to damage/destroy? Where can I find a woman that is not like this? All of the ones around me that are available have issues that I just don't need. I guess being single is great except that it sucks too? Where are all the good women? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

Just a quick update. Her new man (married of course) has told his friends at work that he is ready to leave his wife for my STBXW. I want to know would it be bad for me to give warning to her so she may beable to confront the problem before it is too late. Just to be clear I do not care what she does to herself but he really does not need her problems right now or ever. I am concerned that he may end up back on the bottle and ruin his life all over again. He is not really a friend but I have heard his story and would rather not see him go down the tubes again. Any advice on this? I really don't know what the right thing to do is. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" />

You are focusing on HER.

You're doing the opposite of what somebody who wants their WS back does. You're following (noticed your bit about seeing note on car) and maybe it's a coiincidence, but you know a WHOLE lot.

Learn about 180. Plan B like heck. If she thinks you're hunting her down, it will push her further away.

Use this time apart, to work on you. You can't rationalize with a WS. She is out cake eating and you are following her around analyzing the crumbs she dropped. Leave her alone. Work on you. Become the best yOU you can be.

Again, learn how to pull back. Legally, you have to with an RO against you anyway. It's time to work on you, plan B, and be healthy.

Just quit focusing on her. It will make you nuts. Nothing is worth that.