Hello All,
I am not new to MB have been here for a while,first on JFO,next went to Recovery and now here if that tells you anything <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

Anyway after 2yrs of waiting for my H to change and try to make our M work after his A I filed for a D.

My question is this...........I am all the sudden feeling so much anger towards him again.Is this normal??

I dont know what is going on not sure how I am suppose to feel.
Any feed back would be great.
Thanks in advance <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Nothing is normal.
It may be that you are just now processing your feelings, and it's likely that you will be going through the stages of grief, of which anger is a step.
The steps are:
Denial Anger/Blame Bargaining Recovery Acceptance

If you've been in recovery, you likely had to suppress your anger to avoid LB's, or you were in the bargaining stages. It's likely you need to go back and work this step to achieve full recovery (of yourself).
good luck.

Thanks
Not sure we really ever were in recovery.His idea of recovery was to sweep everything under the rug,pretend nothing happened and go on.He always told me "You need to just get over it" it just is not that easy to do.
We were married a really long time,I think a lot of my feelings right now is the fear of stepping into the unknown and being just a bit angry at him that I am in this position.

I just dont know anymore,I guess I thought all the anger was gone and to have it come back in full force just surprised me.

If you don't already have one, now is a great time to find an individual counselor - for yourself and your healing.
Recovery time from long term marriages is longer, as your expectations of a life together were set long ago.
Good Luck.

Personally, I swing in and out of the anger stage.

Separating myself from my WH is very difficult - we own a business together so I have to see the SOB every day...He only speaks to me at work when he needs something done or help w/a decision. His MOW (though, it may be partially over) works at our business that even makes it worse...

Buy the book What Smart Women Know..believe me it helps to ease the anger - You realize you have just married the wrong person. It was just a bad choice you made and you will survive and you will make better choices in the future. I saw my WH in many chapters of this book - and was shocked into reality - that he can't change..it's who he is..

Thanks ITHURTS

I have often thought that we should have never gotten married,I was just 16 and pregnant when we did.It has been a long life of pain and difficulty but I always really loved him,or thought I did.
Sometimes I think I am just so use to him that I dont know how to go forward.
I will look for the book.

Thanks for the input.

Ginger,

You have every right to be angry. Channel it and put it to positive use. Anger is a powerful motivator. Use it to motivate you to do something to improve yourself or your life.

What do you end up getting? No more anger, and a positive change in your life. What could be better!

Miker

Hi gingersnap, Sorry you're here. It's strange how with each new stage we (or at least I) seem to go through the same cycle of emotions including prominently, both anger and sadness. Everytime I think I'm over them, they come back again, though they've generally become less intense over time.

I filed for divorce almost 4 years ago, but it's been dragged out by a lot of circumstances. I just hired a new lawyer to, hopefully, help move things forward. I'm okay now, but I expect the emotions will surface again as things heat up.

Good luck to you.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Sometimes I think I am just so use to him that I dont know how to go forward </font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Yep - I know that feeling too..It's a hard on to let go of..YOu'll stumble thru going forward, make some mistakes just like I will..

But, I'm smarter now, stronger and unwilling to accept being a doormat any longer.

I've been married 10+ years and yes, I still love my WH - but, I can't accept his behaviour any longer..It's not just the MOW/OW it's how he treats me for catching him that grates my butt...Like he's entitled to A's...Like he's sooo wonderful I should be happy that he hasn't left me yet..They feed off out weak state..Don't let him..Don't empower him...Show him you can move forward (even if you stumble)

Hugs,....